I cant stop
 

Finally went to meeting and still picked up and blew 240 dollars on xmas im insane dumb crazy . Hurting so much I even forgot my daughters prep orientation day wanna curl up an die !!!!

You can't stop or you won't stop?

why do you think you keep picking up Liss?

D

Well, you're not dumb or crazy or insane. I'm sure you are hurting. Was it an AA meeting? You wouldn't be the first to get drunk afterwards and won't be the last. I would buy wine on my way home sometimes. When I really felt like I couldn't quit I surrendered and finally asked for help instead of going through the motions. For me it was inpatient rehab. I needed a complete disconnect from routine to break it. Once that happened I could go to meetings and help and be helped.

Get some rest and rework your plan.

if people want to drink then there is nothing out there in the whole world that will shake them from not drinking
there has to be a desire not to drink for anything to be able to start to work

in the begging i had to quit for an hour at a time until the shops were shut then i could breathe easy as i got through another day without picking up a drink i went to aa meetings day and night and inbetween meetings is where i had to carry on the fight to not pick up the first drink

but i was full of desperation and gave it my all to not pick up that first drink, i did what people told me to do in the aa meetings rather than just go to one and not listen and then go out and buy a drink

its takes hard effort on my part and a willingness
i know i wanted something to easy to make me a non drinker that i didnt have to work at
i didnt know that i had to put in the much needed effort

When nothing changes, nothing changes. What changes are you willing to make, Liss?

If like me, you have now crossed the line. By this I mean that you now realize that your drinking is out of control.

This means that every time you will drink from this point on will only bring you guilt, shame, anxiety, discouragement, depression.

Sorry to say, but the party is permanently broken. Only until you accept that fact, and start the grieving process of loosing your imaginary "best friend" you will struggle.

Good luck!

You can do this, but it's going to take some changes, a plan and making some tough decisions with the help of a lot of support!!

You have the power to make it happen!! :)