439trish

had a week, was doing ok. I just started stressing and obsessing over Christmas with my mother. Back in October I told her I would drive her to San Antonio, stay on the Riverwalk and spend the week of Christmas there with her, (and my dog) in a hotel. I really wanted to be nice, my father died 3 years ago and since then I have tried very hard to spend a lot of time with her.

but this is going to be a lot of work, and hours of driving in the holiday traffic on the interstate, and I am just dreading it now. She is so happy about it, and I am just sorry I offered. I love her but she drives me crazy...and she never stops talking.

so what did I do? I drank at it. and now I feel very depressed.

not drinking now, got the rest of the beer out of here....I will not give up, I want to stay sober, will never give up

Soberwolf

Thats it Trish dust yourself off and try again

try and look for positive things to do with mum that will bring you both joy ?

look up meetings in the area and stick close to SR

Reach out before you go and drink get that 2nd opinion you can lean on us for support 24/7

if you feel like this again 'play a truthful honest mental tape of yourself drinking' its never pretty

its a great deterrant but it comes down on your acceptance of the facts and you wanting to be sober more than you wanting to be drunk

glad your back giving it another go

439trish

thanks soberwolf


I hear what you are saying....

just getting a week feels like it takes a month to get there....I have such a hard time being able to see how I can live going forward without ever drinking---I know it is just a day at a time--but in those moments I can't see how I will be able to RE MAKE my self and my life with permanent sobriety.

and how I can get through something like a week in a hotel with my mother-

but I drank, and I came right back here, which is progress for me, I overcame my shame and sorrow and spilled my thoughts here, for that I am happy

thank you

and maybe I need SR on my phone, this all came down at the grocery store

MissOverIt

I say progress indeed! I can relate, before when I would mess up I would avoid SR. I feel that my last mess up was progress too because I reached out on SR that night. Good job

Altoids

SR is such an awesome resource for all of us. So glad you are here.

Soberwolf

Definatly get SR on your mobile

and take your sobriety by the day dont think long term if its scary just take it bit by bit

for me i had to face facts i am a 32yo alcoholic and that will never change (believe me i tried)

i know drink is not the answer and only always makes things worse

you couldnt pay me a billion dollars/pounds to drink

when i realised woke up i seen what i was doing it was crazy horrible etc

it doesnt have to be that way

in 10 days il be 17 months sober first time ive ever been sober hopefully last

were here for you 24/7

439trish

you inspire me SW, thank you for reaching out, it is the thing that really helps more than anything, going this alone is not the way

PurpleKnight

Go at it again Trish!! Never give up!!