Problems convincing friends and family that you have alcoholism?
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,352
Congrats on your clean time. You made it past 4 months.
I'm married and my husband does not believe I am an alcoholic. I actually stopped using that word because of the reaction I was getting. I would try to hide just how bad it was getting. I only drank in the evenings and I would wait until everything was done and he and my daughter were off doing their own thing. I never drove drunk, started fights, hide my alcohol or anything like that because that's what alcoholics do and that's not me. My friends were absolutely clueless because there was only one I drank with and she has a problem too.
I did a halfway decent job of hiding it but I think it mostly comes down to my husband was in denial too.
I'm married and my husband does not believe I am an alcoholic. I actually stopped using that word because of the reaction I was getting. I would try to hide just how bad it was getting. I only drank in the evenings and I would wait until everything was done and he and my daughter were off doing their own thing. I never drove drunk, started fights, hide my alcohol or anything like that because that's what alcoholics do and that's not me. My friends were absolutely clueless because there was only one I drank with and she has a problem too.
I did a halfway decent job of hiding it but I think it mostly comes down to my husband was in denial too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 340
Hi Dutch
My numbers are similar to yours started at 15 and gave up in mid 30's. I wasn't a text book alcoholic either but sure liked to chase a blackout and was crossing into frequent drinking too. Starting to take a toll on my health too.
I knew what response I would get so didn't bother with telling anyone. I just quit. Just gave off hand reasons if anyone bothered asking and it has become the new normal.
My wife new me as a heavy drinker but not the true extent. Her main comment has been that her and the kids really like me not drinking. That is enough for me.
My advice is don't focus on labels or reactions from people, just on you to start with.
My numbers are similar to yours started at 15 and gave up in mid 30's. I wasn't a text book alcoholic either but sure liked to chase a blackout and was crossing into frequent drinking too. Starting to take a toll on my health too.
I knew what response I would get so didn't bother with telling anyone. I just quit. Just gave off hand reasons if anyone bothered asking and it has become the new normal.
My wife new me as a heavy drinker but not the true extent. Her main comment has been that her and the kids really like me not drinking. That is enough for me.
My advice is don't focus on labels or reactions from people, just on you to start with.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
yep, it's typical, the only person I didn't have to convince was my wife and family
the rest, when they said no you're not, end of conversation - but they avoided me like the plague.
I had a 1/2 case of beer stashed at a friend's place where I hunted - so I had one always waiting for me. Last year I told him where it was and to get rid of it cause I'll drink it next time I come out. He didn't believe me. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Yes I will. I'll drink it all."
The only people we need to convince is ourselves.
the rest, when they said no you're not, end of conversation - but they avoided me like the plague.
I had a 1/2 case of beer stashed at a friend's place where I hunted - so I had one always waiting for me. Last year I told him where it was and to get rid of it cause I'll drink it next time I come out. He didn't believe me. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Yes I will. I'll drink it all."
The only people we need to convince is ourselves.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Congrats on 122 days! That is awesome!
I don't think convincing those around us that we're alcoholics is necessary to quit drinking since it is a personal decision. I told my husband that I wanted to quit drinking and he doesn't think I am an alcoholic either. However, he is supportive of whatever I want to do. I can understand doing what you're doing if you want to be held accountable by your friends and family.
I don't think convincing those around us that we're alcoholics is necessary to quit drinking since it is a personal decision. I told my husband that I wanted to quit drinking and he doesn't think I am an alcoholic either. However, he is supportive of whatever I want to do. I can understand doing what you're doing if you want to be held accountable by your friends and family.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Most don't know what it means and those that suspect themselves are the worst. Admitting I'm an alcoholic in the presence of others in recovery has a different effect. It binds us and identifies the problem so we can go about addressing it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
