Reasons I KNOW I am an alcoholic....
 

I'm posting this so it can be a record that I can refer back to when my AV gets really loud and tries to convince me that I am NOT an alcoholic (which it does sometimes). I'm NOT trying to convince myself of anything right this second. (thank goodness!) I am just creating another tool in my tool box. My disease tried to convince me I wasn't an alcoholic a year ago and I relapsed after over 5.5 years! I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN! I am happy that I have a few days of sobriety under my belt now and am really working to save my life.

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR REASONS (why you know YOU'RE an alcoholic) TO THIS POST. I would LOVE to hear them because there are probably things I didn't think of. haha. Even though I listed 70 things. : :lmao

1. I drink when I am disapointed, under pressure, angry or have a conflict with someone.
2. I can drink much more than most people and much more than I used to without getting drunk.
3. I have had trouble remembering parts of a night of drinking. (blackouts)
4. I drink BEFORE I go out with friends/family to drink so they don't know how much I actually drank.
5. I feel guilt and shame about my drinking.
6. I have had family complain about my drinking in the past (specifically my husband)
7. I often want to keep drinking after my husband or friends have had enough and want to go home.
8. I often regret things I said or did while drinking.
9. I have failed to keep promises I made to quit or cut down on drinking.
10. I have had DUIs and other trouble with police while drunk. Even with DUIs I have driven drunk again. UGH! Another DUI is a FELONY!!!
11. I try to avoid family and close friends while I am drinking or have been drinking. (I hide it)
12. I am having financial, work and family problems because of my drinking.
13. I do not eat before I drink because it will make it harder to get a buzz or drunk.
14. I have very recently noticed I can't really drink as much as I used to.
15. I have gone to people for help with my drinking.
16. I feel very depressed and anxious before, after and during drinking (almost suicidal after!)
17. I have blood relatives who are alcoholics.
18. Once I start drinking I don't want to stop until I am buzzed, drunk, passed out, vomiting or forced to stop most of time.
19. I miss important events and time with my kids, husband, family and friends to drink ALONE.
20. Even though I don't and have never drank daily (YET), I am still an alcoholic because it's the EFFECTS of my drinking that define a problem. My drinking is causing problems in my home and work life and that's what defines alcoholism for me.
21. Just because I am a high functioning alcoholic and have a house, car, job, some money etc. doesn't mean I am not an alcoholic. Overtime I will lose all the things I have, including my life.
22. Alcohol is a drug and alcohol is every bit as damaging as a drug addiction. Alcohol addiction causes changes and MAJOR DAMAGE to the body and brain, and long-term alcohol abuse can have devasting effects on my health, career and relationships.
23. I lie to others constantly to drink or about my drinking.
24. I neglect my responsiblities at home, work etc. because of drinking.
25. I have horrible hangovers, swear off alcohol forever and then do it all over again.
26. I have consumed alcohol on medications that cleary state not to mix with alcohol...risking my life.
27. I have been to the hospital a few times because of injuries sustained while drunk. One injury could have been fatal!
28. I have a very high alcohol tolerance which is NOT normal in non-alcoholics.
29. A few days after I stop drinking I have major anxiety, sweating, nausea, headaches, insomnia, depression, fatigue, irritablity etc.
30. I drink even when I intended not to.
31. I have MAJOR cravings! (a strong need or urge to drink and a loss of control) Like a craving or hunger for food or water! It's like my body NEEDS it and is screaming for it!
32. I wanted to quit but couldn't go more that a few days.
33. I have given up other activities because of drinking...activities that I once loved!
34. I spend very little quality time with my family because of drinking.
35. I don't have many friends when I am drinking.
36. I spend a lot of time drinking, thinking about it or recovering from its effects. I have few if any interests that don't revolve around drinking.
37. I drink even though I know alcohol causes 99.9% of the problems and misery in my life.
38. When I want to drink I often down-play the negative consequences of my drinking.
39. I often blame my drinking on others.
40. Signs of alcoholism include drinking more than 12 drinks a week. I drink 12 drinks every time I drink (in one sitting).
41. I drink a lone
42. I started drinking in my teens which increases my risk of alcoholism ten fold.
43. We have alcoholism in our family which greatly increases my risk.
44. I have an anxiety disorder which is another huge risk factor.
45. I have suffered trauma in my life, including abuse etc. which is another huge risk factor.
46. My goals and ambitions have greatly diminished since I started drinking again.
47. I have gained 30 pounds since I started drinking again.
48. I crave drinks at a certain time of day.
49. I drink to escape problems or worries in my life.
50. I turn into a different person when I drink...often an angry one. I have been kicked out or banned from pubs because of this.
51. I have switched drinks to try to get more drunk or a better buzz.
52. I envy and don't understand how people can only drink one or two drinks and leave it on the table.
53. Doctors say that if I have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse...never better. Eventually I will die or end up in jail or an institution. My only hope is to stop drinking.
54. Non-alcoholics don't have blackouts.
55. I KNOW that my life would be much better if I did not drink.
56. Alcohol makes me feel trapped and hopeless.
57. Alcohol makes it difficult to look at myself in the mirror.
58. I don't want to live to drink or drink to live anymore.
59. My drinking has hurt my reputation and made me paranoid.
60. We have lots of credit card debt because of my drinking.
61. Drinking makes me careless.
62. Drinking is jeapardizing my job.
63. I have hidden alcohol in the past.
64. I drink to help my depression and anxiety but alcohol CAUSES depression and anxiety!
65. The 4 key traits of alcoholism are: (I have all 4)
a. craving-a strong need to drink
b. loss of control-the inability to limit drinking
c. tolerance-the need for ever-increasing amounts of alcohol in order to feel it's effects.
d. withdrawal-physical symptoms that occur when alcohol use is stopped after a period of drinking
66. my entire body hurts after a night of drinking and my liver area is starting to hurt too.
67. I often vomit after a night of drinking to get rid of the poison.
68. The room spins sometimes after a night of drinking.
69. I hate myself after a night of drinking.
70. Drinking is a form of self-inflicted pain and almost like a "slow suicide". I hate alcohol!

NOW OFF TO THE SOLUTION THROUGH ACTION....an AA meeting and to meet my sponsor at another one tonight!

Exellent list Serenidad

well...you got me covered! looking at your list....we can NEVER go back!

tick on loads of them for me too, that is some list :lmao

well done on 5.5 years.

Wow. I'm not THAT bad. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.



JOKING!

It's impressive that you wrote all that down. I think only a person who is ready to move on would be so motivated. I can smell what you're cooking, and I LIKE it. :a122:

Thanks dutch but I lost my 5.5 years because I forgot about all 70 things on that list and stopped going to AA meetings! Now I only have a few days. :cries3: AND my life is pretty much back to the same misery it was before my 5.5 years....maybe WORSE! :cries3:

Seriniday I'm sure your hard work will pay off. Convincing yourself deep down you have an unmanageable problem is a big part of the battle, and making lists like this helps you convince yourself.
Well done on getting back on the wagon.

Thanks Nonsensical! I can't stand to live another day in the black hole that I have put myself back in. This time it is more about the severe unhappiness, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and sometimes suicidal thoughts. I would never kill myself....but the fact that I have thought about it a few times when I was drinking speaks volumes as to how miserable I have become since I relapsed.

I have 2 choices. 1. I can keep drinking and die and slow miserable death.
2. I can get sober and climb back out of this black hole and be happy like I was when I was sober!

I know a few people (friends and people) who have died from alcoholism and it was truly the saddest, most torturous thing I have ever watched in my entire life! :cries3: I don't want that for myself!

Thanks for the continued support!:You_Rock_

Thanks FeelingGreat! I have no doubt that I am an alcoholic now and for a long time I had lots of doubts.

Untreated alcoholism ALWAYS ends the same way: jail, institution or DEATH.

I'm getting off the elevator before it goes all the way to the bottom. AA and the wonderful people there helped me save my life once....and I know it can happen again! :ring

Thanks FeelingGreat! I have no doubt that I am an alcoholic now and for a long time I had lots of doubts.

Untreated alcoholism ALWAYS ends the same way: jail, institution or DEATH.

I'm getting off the elevator before it goes all the way to the bottom. AA and the wonderful people there helped me save my life once....and I know it can happen again! :ring

Absolutely it can!

hang in there, you know from experience these feelings are temporary. just keep going and the clouds will lift again.

Fantastic list. Totally relate!

Wow, that's a powerful list you made serenidad. I can relate so definitely. It's such a strange affliction that we often question it's existence. I had 5 years once too. I hope we can stick together and never go back to that misery again. 70 reasons is more than enough to stay away! Good work.

Thx dutch. It just seems like a huge mountain to climb sometimes.

We can definitely stick together! I find it impossible to stay sober by myself. I'll take all the support I can get! :-)

Awesome work you put in there. Great list and I relate to every point you made. I can never drink again for these reasons

I think most of those apply to many of us! Great list! I browsed and nodded my head. Like you, one drink is never enough for me. I won't stop until I'm buzzed....but once I hit that plateau I won't stop until I'm crazy drunk....and once I get to that point, I'll just keep going until I virtually pass out. We just can't manage, can we? Glad we are all here to support each other. Good post!

no problem!

i know he's not everyones cup of tea, but have a read of this russell brand article on addiction

Russell Brand: my life without drugs | Culture | The Guardian

This is the best thread I've read in a long time. THANK YOU.