Slowly back drinking again
 

Hello All,

I quit for almost 2 years and then slowly started drinking once a week again, no one but my wife and Son know I have been drinking as I don't drink around friends or any other family. I think my Brother might know as I have called him while I was drunk. I really don't know what comes over me I just somehow think I deserve to drink sometimes and then the next day like today I feel so bad and disgusted with myself. Today is day one of the rest of my life, couldn't go into work today because I feel just like crap.

When I quit before I read a book by Allan Carr and it sparked something in me that keeped me sober. I am going to start reading it again and read and post on these forums.

I just can't drink anymore my mental health and self asteam are in the bottom of the barrel at the moment. My Son came home yesterday and most likely the first thing he seen was me in bed passed out.

I really just hate alcohol now and have no idea why I drink. while like I said this is day one.

regards

Confusedagain

2 years is amazing.......you can get back there, I am certain!!

Glad you're here and posting!!

Sounds to me like you might drink because you are alcoholic.

Do you want to stop?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes?

Welcome! I too am on day one - again. I've tried, and failed at explaining why I drink. Bottom line is because I am powerless when it comes to alcohol and can't have it. Not one, not once a week, not the second Tuesday of the month. None. Congrats on making the choice to do this!

Welcome to SR CA

You had almost 2 years thats awesome today is day 1 you can do this

I also returned to run with the liquid devil a few times

never brought any lasting pleasure

please stop drinking while you can because for some the point of no return comes in short time

Mountainmanbob

I am an alcoholic
 

I don't think I could feel any worse today, I am letting my family down every time I drink. I have so many great people in my life and I am not going to let them down any longer.

Hi Mountainmanbob

That's what my wife says, it doesn't help or fix anything, she is wright of course but somehow that little voice in my head points me to the beer store and the next thing I know I am passed out in bed.

This morning all I wanted to do was turn back the clock to 2 pm yesterday afternoon, I am self employed so some days I finish early and come home and drink. But its only once a week not that it matters, once a week is to much!!!

I feel so ashamed of myself today, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs I am sorry again.

If you don't pick up another beer, you never have to feel this way again.

Shut the door on that misery and go forward with a better life.

Welcome Confused. You know you have it in you to stop, you did it for 2 years which is a pretty amazing feat in itself. Addiction is a tricky thing and it can come back and haunt you many years later if you aren't vigilant as you found out.

The shame and guilt of the day after something we all remember too well, but if you re-double your efforts you never have to feel this way again. Perhaps you may want to consider a more formal recovery plan this time around? Even just posting here every day can do wonders.

I have one of those voices, too. It is the voice of my addiction to alcohol. It is a liar and a thief that will kill me if I let it. I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life has improved dramatically.

You can do this. :ring

I do it too, it's like something comes over me and next thing I know I'm on my way to the liquor store, I call them "zombie drives", it's like I'm some zombie driving to get my precious wine.
It actually happened the other day, but I didn't drink what I bought. But it was still the zombie drive.
I have tried and tried and tried and tried to drink just once a week, I can do it for a while, but I finally gave up, before I know it, I'll be drinking every second day, hungover over, furious and ashamed at myself. I have done this for years.
I can't handle my drinking, I just can't drink.

I'm glad you're back posting. I think that when you fully close the door on drinking as an option, it becomes easier. I know for me, my mind started finding healthy ways to deal with life, when I decided drinking was no longer an option, ever. You've been sober 2 years, so you know you can do this and you know the benefits. :)

Welcome CA, you've found a good place to restart your sobriety.

Glad you joined us :)

Welcome CA, you've found a good place to restart your sobriety.

Glad you joined us :)

I'm three days sober and I feel your pain. You wouldn't feel this terrible about yourself if there wasn't a problem. There were those days in high school when I would wake up and say wow! I'm so hungover, what a great night!

Those days are long gone. Every time I drink now no matter how drunk I get, I wake up the next day and hate myself. Not for the way I feel but for what I've continued to do to myself.

I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me. She stuck with me through two tours overseas and couldn't wait to have me home. Then I got home and wasted what little time we had with drinking.

I'll never forgive myself for that. But, it will never happen again. Your family loves you bro. You got this.

So.... I'm not sure whether this answers the questions;

do you want to stop drinking?

are you willing to do whatever it takes?

a happy Queen makes for a happy king not to be taken for granted

Welcome back! Won't it feel great to be sober for the holidays? Hugs!