Planning for the Xmas/New Years season
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Planning for the Xmas/New Years season
Hi, I thought it might be a worthwhile thread for us to list some of our planning ideas to stay sober through the holiday season, maybe there are some ideas that can help others and even thinking about it proactively might be useful. Here is what I have put in place:
- My first real party is this coming weekend and its with good friends who all drink a lot. I have already told them that I am off the drink (told them i am taking a break as opposed to quitting for good). I have invited my wife to come along to keep me honest
- I have arranged a business trip to our head office for a week prior to Xmas to work through a lot of 2015 planning and I won't risk drinking with that team so that will help me to miss 2 or 3 parties
- I am travelling back between Xmas and New Years and have asked my wife to not bring her driving license so I need to stay sober to do all the driving. I know I will not risk drinking and driving
- Xmas day I am driving 2 hours to see my sister and two hours back that night
- I have moved my flight back to Asia for New Years Eve so that cuts out NYE drinking
Some sacrifices I know but I think its necessary this year
what do you have planned to drop the booze this holiday?
- My first real party is this coming weekend and its with good friends who all drink a lot. I have already told them that I am off the drink (told them i am taking a break as opposed to quitting for good). I have invited my wife to come along to keep me honest
- I have arranged a business trip to our head office for a week prior to Xmas to work through a lot of 2015 planning and I won't risk drinking with that team so that will help me to miss 2 or 3 parties
- I am travelling back between Xmas and New Years and have asked my wife to not bring her driving license so I need to stay sober to do all the driving. I know I will not risk drinking and driving
- Xmas day I am driving 2 hours to see my sister and two hours back that night
- I have moved my flight back to Asia for New Years Eve so that cuts out NYE drinking
Some sacrifices I know but I think its necessary this year
what do you have planned to drop the booze this holiday?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I am not going anywhere for the holidays. I do not want the stress.
I am going to see family after the New Year and will be bringing tea with me.
I am not sure about New Years yet, but will not be drinking, so I need to make a plan.
I am going to see family after the New Year and will be bringing tea with me.
I am not sure about New Years yet, but will not be drinking, so I need to make a plan.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
PArty Party Party.. jingle jingle jingle..
we are part of a Cookie Bake off hahahahah
party for the neighborhood ekekekekekek
party at Mike and Carols 1880's home love it to bits
party at Saz's for Charity and State Fair Ring that Bell
party at State Fair for all that Volunteer Moooooo
love it to bits... Drinking not me nope.. but there will be alot going on love the Spirit with Cranberry in it.. good for you and bubbles..
hugs to all Ardy...
we are part of a Cookie Bake off hahahahah
party for the neighborhood ekekekekekek
party at Mike and Carols 1880's home love it to bits
party at Saz's for Charity and State Fair Ring that Bell
party at State Fair for all that Volunteer Moooooo
love it to bits... Drinking not me nope.. but there will be alot going on love the Spirit with Cranberry in it.. good for you and bubbles..
hugs to all Ardy...
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
I'm spending Christmas and boxing day with my very elderly parents.
I have an excuse not to drink as I' ve booked a hotel 20 miles from their place and will drive back every night (they don't have room to put me up in their flat).
27th I'm spending with my kids, who all support my sobriety and won't drink.
I've arranged a hill walk and dinner with a non- drinking friend for the 28th.
I got a couple of "come round for drinks" offers but I've arrange to go in the afternoons of the 29th and 30th, and drive. I will be taking some of my own sparkling cordials if they insist on celebrating/toasting.
I've made it common knowledge that I cannot, not won't or don't, but can't, drink because of health problems.
I'm working New Year's Eve.
I'm pretty much booked up, so I can say no to parties etc.
I know what I am doing and who I' ll be with all week, so that is reassuring, and
if the worst comes to the worst, I can cancel if I don't feel up to the 29th and 30th.
I have an excuse not to drink as I' ve booked a hotel 20 miles from their place and will drive back every night (they don't have room to put me up in their flat).
27th I'm spending with my kids, who all support my sobriety and won't drink.
I've arranged a hill walk and dinner with a non- drinking friend for the 28th.
I got a couple of "come round for drinks" offers but I've arrange to go in the afternoons of the 29th and 30th, and drive. I will be taking some of my own sparkling cordials if they insist on celebrating/toasting.
I've made it common knowledge that I cannot, not won't or don't, but can't, drink because of health problems.
I'm working New Year's Eve.
I'm pretty much booked up, so I can say no to parties etc.
I know what I am doing and who I' ll be with all week, so that is reassuring, and
if the worst comes to the worst, I can cancel if I don't feel up to the 29th and 30th.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Aside from the fact that I lost my job right before Christmas and have no real money to spend... That alone is motivation to not ever drink again.
The rehab I went to has a NYE "party/meeting". I am planning to go there for NYE and proclaim my one year of sobriety. And also give hope and support for the people inside.
The rehab I went to has a NYE "party/meeting". I am planning to go there for NYE and proclaim my one year of sobriety. And also give hope and support for the people inside.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
This is a timely thread, ubntubnt.
It seems that many people have relapsed, binged or have been crushed under the weight of the recent holidays. I can't say that I've ever had a problem with the holidays -- besides an underlying and nagging thread of melancholy since I was a child. They typically provide an opportunity for me to be with my family in ways that were never available to me when I was drinking.
Though it's neither a good nor a supportive measure, I tend to give people a "pass" on relapse around the holidays or after the death or loss of a loved one. But this is a potentially dangerous message for those who are also inclined to give themselves a pass for the same things. With everything else that we know, or that we think we know, we cannot predict with certainty where a relapse will bring us. Drinking severely impairs my ability to assess what is and what is not "good for me." I didn't know that my entire life would fall apart following my relapse, convincing myself, instead, that I could simply change course when things got bad.
I don't know that managing the inevitable stressful events that life brings us builds character, but I do believe that how we deal with adversity reveals it. Not a criticism of those who relapse under conditions of varying extremes, but a warning that life, and all that life brings, doesn't stop by virtue of putting down the drink. Many of us can remain happily sober when things are going our why, but the Universe doesn't care. It's what we do during times of adversity that bring us to a better place, and that provide us with important information about where we are in our sobriety.
It seems that many people have relapsed, binged or have been crushed under the weight of the recent holidays. I can't say that I've ever had a problem with the holidays -- besides an underlying and nagging thread of melancholy since I was a child. They typically provide an opportunity for me to be with my family in ways that were never available to me when I was drinking.
Though it's neither a good nor a supportive measure, I tend to give people a "pass" on relapse around the holidays or after the death or loss of a loved one. But this is a potentially dangerous message for those who are also inclined to give themselves a pass for the same things. With everything else that we know, or that we think we know, we cannot predict with certainty where a relapse will bring us. Drinking severely impairs my ability to assess what is and what is not "good for me." I didn't know that my entire life would fall apart following my relapse, convincing myself, instead, that I could simply change course when things got bad.
I don't know that managing the inevitable stressful events that life brings us builds character, but I do believe that how we deal with adversity reveals it. Not a criticism of those who relapse under conditions of varying extremes, but a warning that life, and all that life brings, doesn't stop by virtue of putting down the drink. Many of us can remain happily sober when things are going our why, but the Universe doesn't care. It's what we do during times of adversity that bring us to a better place, and that provide us with important information about where we are in our sobriety.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
D made this very helpful link http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Thanks for this thread ubntubnt, I'm just starting to plan for Christmas too. I have my family coming to me this year, and some of them drink heavily, some drink a bit and some don't drink at all.
The fact that I'm doing the cooking will keep me sober, because I know that if I drink I'll just end up ruining the whole thing.
I'll have lots of really tasty non alcoholic drinks, and only just enough wine for guests.
Everyone knows that I no longer drink, and it would be a real knock to my self esteem if I messed up my progress just for one day. I've come so far, any slip would send me right back to square one, I'm not going to risk that.
I've enjoyed some family gatherings over the past few months without drinking, so I know I can do this. I just need to keep mentally alert and not allow any harmful thoughts to fester in my mind.
A successful Christmas for me is a sober one, I'm just imagining how great I'll feel on boxing day when all temptation will be out of the house.
The fact that I'm doing the cooking will keep me sober, because I know that if I drink I'll just end up ruining the whole thing.
I'll have lots of really tasty non alcoholic drinks, and only just enough wine for guests.
Everyone knows that I no longer drink, and it would be a real knock to my self esteem if I messed up my progress just for one day. I've come so far, any slip would send me right back to square one, I'm not going to risk that.
I've enjoyed some family gatherings over the past few months without drinking, so I know I can do this. I just need to keep mentally alert and not allow any harmful thoughts to fester in my mind.
A successful Christmas for me is a sober one, I'm just imagining how great I'll feel on boxing day when all temptation will be out of the house.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Last year I got sloshed with my hubby's cousin. We acted pretty stupidly and annoyed everyone. Next day hangover from hell and trying to hide it infront of my inlaws. Yuck! I'm so glad it's not going to be me this time or ever again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I avoid my company holiday party like the plague and have done since I ever even thought to quit drinking.
I avoided going out on New Year's Eve when I was a drinker because it was "amateur" night and I hated spending time around THOSE kinds of nasty loud sloppy weepy drunks. There was always some random girl crying in the bathroom about some guy with her makeup running.
My family doesn't drink. We don't get invited to many parties. So, we will hang with the family. Or I will see my friends for coffee. I think of the reasons I avoided the social scene while a drunk and remember they were only barely tolerable because I was intoxicated. Do I sound like a Scrooge? I'm not,really.
I avoided going out on New Year's Eve when I was a drinker because it was "amateur" night and I hated spending time around THOSE kinds of nasty loud sloppy weepy drunks. There was always some random girl crying in the bathroom about some guy with her makeup running.
My family doesn't drink. We don't get invited to many parties. So, we will hang with the family. Or I will see my friends for coffee. I think of the reasons I avoided the social scene while a drunk and remember they were only barely tolerable because I was intoxicated. Do I sound like a Scrooge? I'm not,really.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I quit drinking in early December 2 years ago. It is possible to get through the holiday season with careful planning and realistic expectations. What worked for me and some suggestions are:
- Avoid parties/works outings etc. It is ok to say no and turn invites down. Most people won't even notice you are not there after they have had a couple of drinks. People really aren't that bothered if we don't attend. The number of times I've read on SR "I have to go to X,Y, Z" etc is upsetting. Most events you really don't have to attend. Put your sobriety first.
- Of course, I understand that some events can't be avoided- Chrsitmas day with family etc but do see that most events can be avoided. It's not forever, just till you get stronger in your sobriety.
- Be very careful about attending events and saying I'm not drinking. From bitter experience I can say I had 2 sober stints in 2012 of 6 weeks and thought I was doing really well. I relapsed both times when I was in drinking environments with all around me drinking. Even though I went with the 100% intention of not drinking I did not have the coping skills in early sobriety to understand the cravings or get through them and say no so I did the only thing I knew. I drank.
- That said, I had family over on Christmas day at 17 days sober, most of whom were drinking. I played with the children which was fun. I had plenty of non alco drinks to drink, constantly and ensured I ate frequently and well.
- I kept my laptop upstairs and was on SR most of the day. No one noticed that I kept disappearing.
- Breaking the day into segments help me enormously. It isn't really a day -it was just a few hours from family arrival at 3.00 till their departure at 9ish. 6 hours seems a lot more manageable that 1 day
- Cravings do and will happen. I thought because I didn't have them at first I would never have them. When they did happen I had no skills to deal with them and just drank. Having coping and support mechanisms in place throughout the season will really help you.
- Above all, do what YOU need to do to stay sober. Life is so much better sober and it really does get easier.
- You will never wake up regretting NOT having had a drink the night before
Merry Christmas
- Avoid parties/works outings etc. It is ok to say no and turn invites down. Most people won't even notice you are not there after they have had a couple of drinks. People really aren't that bothered if we don't attend. The number of times I've read on SR "I have to go to X,Y, Z" etc is upsetting. Most events you really don't have to attend. Put your sobriety first.
- Of course, I understand that some events can't be avoided- Chrsitmas day with family etc but do see that most events can be avoided. It's not forever, just till you get stronger in your sobriety.
- Be very careful about attending events and saying I'm not drinking. From bitter experience I can say I had 2 sober stints in 2012 of 6 weeks and thought I was doing really well. I relapsed both times when I was in drinking environments with all around me drinking. Even though I went with the 100% intention of not drinking I did not have the coping skills in early sobriety to understand the cravings or get through them and say no so I did the only thing I knew. I drank.
- That said, I had family over on Christmas day at 17 days sober, most of whom were drinking. I played with the children which was fun. I had plenty of non alco drinks to drink, constantly and ensured I ate frequently and well.
- I kept my laptop upstairs and was on SR most of the day. No one noticed that I kept disappearing.
- Breaking the day into segments help me enormously. It isn't really a day -it was just a few hours from family arrival at 3.00 till their departure at 9ish. 6 hours seems a lot more manageable that 1 day
- Cravings do and will happen. I thought because I didn't have them at first I would never have them. When they did happen I had no skills to deal with them and just drank. Having coping and support mechanisms in place throughout the season will really help you.
- Above all, do what YOU need to do to stay sober. Life is so much better sober and it really does get easier.
- You will never wake up regretting NOT having had a drink the night before
Merry Christmas
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Its going to be all about my little girl and other special people in my life.
I want to make her christmas magical.
Hangovers do not bring any magic to christmas!
I'm going to take lots of nice photo's, try cook some amazing food. There are lots of christmas films on at the cinema that we are going to watch.
I've always hated New year when I have been drinking.
I hate waking up on the first day of a new year feeling like I have been dug up.
I would rather celebrate a new year with a nice walk somewhere and maybe some lunch out. Who know's we might get an early night and drive to the beach and paddle in the sea in our wellies!
I want to make her christmas magical.
Hangovers do not bring any magic to christmas!
I'm going to take lots of nice photo's, try cook some amazing food. There are lots of christmas films on at the cinema that we are going to watch.
I've always hated New year when I have been drinking.
I hate waking up on the first day of a new year feeling like I have been dug up.
I would rather celebrate a new year with a nice walk somewhere and maybe some lunch out. Who know's we might get an early night and drive to the beach and paddle in the sea in our wellies!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
I'm lucky in the fact my family know I'm an alcoholic and I have told them that i am not drinking and that this is my last time for getting clean and sober. They will be supportive, some will drink but most won't as a show of support.
My wife is 8 months pregnant now so I can use the excuse of possibly needing to drive if labour occurred in almost every other situation. I will mostly keep to myself through the holiday and spend one last xmas just me and my wife, sitting in the lounge watching telly and and cooking nice food. Next year will be a whole different affair with a small child so trying to concentrate on relaxation while we can.
My wife is 8 months pregnant now so I can use the excuse of possibly needing to drive if labour occurred in almost every other situation. I will mostly keep to myself through the holiday and spend one last xmas just me and my wife, sitting in the lounge watching telly and and cooking nice food. Next year will be a whole different affair with a small child so trying to concentrate on relaxation while we can.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 342
I really enjoy waking boxing day and New years Day without a hangover whilst everyone else is hungover petty and childish I know.
I also make a point of playing with all the kids whilst the parents are boozing. They really appreciate it and it keeps me occupied.
Other than that I keep busy with work.
Just a couple of thoughts.
I also make a point of playing with all the kids whilst the parents are boozing. They really appreciate it and it keeps me occupied.
Other than that I keep busy with work.
Just a couple of thoughts.
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