CAPTAINZING2000

Every time I read a post like this I'm reminded of this story

ONE EVENING, AN ELDERLY
CHEROKEE BRAVE TOLD HIS
GRANDSON ABOUT A BATTLE THAT
GOES ON INSIDE PEOPLE.

HE SAID "MY SON, THE BATTLE IS
BETWEEN TWO 'WOLVES' INSIDE US ALL.
ONE IS EVIL. IT IS ANGER,
ENVY, JEALOUSY, SORROW,
REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE,
SELF-PITY, GUILT, RESENTMENT,
INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE,
SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.

THE OTHER IS GOOD.
IT IS JOY, PEACE LOVE, HOPE SERENITY,
HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE,
EMPATHY, GENEROSITY,
TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH."

THE GRANDSON THOUGH ABOUT
IT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED
HIS GRANDFATHER:

"WHICH WOLF WINS?..."

THE OLD CHEROKEE SIMPLY REPLIED,
"THE ONE THAT YOU FEED"

I can be in recovery or I can be in my disease.

Hevyn

We are with you Rachelle . I hope you're feeling more hopeful today. You can do this.

littlefish

The same for most of us, too! Its a longstanding habit most of us have.

I think that a lot of normal people feel sad over the holidays, and alcoholics have it double. Instead of feeling happy, I think a lot of us see a huge gap between the fantasy of the TV commercials showing delightful holiday moments, and the reality of our existence, which can include awful childhood memories of the holidays-one example.

But, I have learned a really good tool in recovery that provides relief and that is identifying my feelings.
When my emotions stop being nameless and mysterious, when I can shine a spotlight on them and give them a name, they lose their control over me.

I never thought I could choose how to feel. I thought that my emotions were something I had no control over: they just happened.

Sure, I still have blah moments. But, understanding is winning half the battle. Understanding myself better gives me a lot more choices. I can ask myself: do I really want to nurse that resentment? What will it do for me, is it based on facts or have I twisted the issue to give myself more opportunity for self pity?
Thats just one example.----

rachelle77

Thanks for still continuing to post, you guys!

I am determined to get those 4 months of sobriety back, and hopefully add on years!

I know this struggle is hard, and that's why I am so grateful for this website. I've also stepped up my face to face meetings and have reached out more than I have in the past. The only way to beat this is to take action, and I know I have it in me to do just that.

I have accepted that I have a disease called alcoholism. It doesn't make me, or us, any less of a person. We just have a different struggle from other people.

Thank you so much for all of your replies!