Anxiety Whirlpool
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 42
Anxiety Whirlpool
I have known for a while that I have had issues with alcohol and have had a number different instances in my late twenties and early thirties (I am 31 now) that I look back on with shame and embarrassment. I didn't really think too much of those moments at the time as my life has gone pretty well and have a job that I love and an amazing wife and children. I finally decided that I needed to get sober for family and health reasons as I have found that my heart has an unusually high blockage for my age and was told by my cardiologist that I have the heart of a 50-70 year old, as well as my wife coming home from work when I had gotten myself blackout drunk and couldn't even help with my young daughter (that wasn't the only time I had gotten blotto at home, that was just the time I got "busted").
I have worked hard on sobriety since then, but I have struggled to remain vigilant after I string together a decent stretch of sobriety (30 or more days). The main thing that has been a struggle for me has been the onset of anxiety that has come with with knowing the status of my health, as ignorance is no longer bliss, and the birth of my second child. I have had some crippling panic attacks and have convinced myself that I have every malady known to man as I keep turning to my trusty Dr. Google every time I so much as sniffle and use this as a perfect excuse to turn to vodka as it quiets some of the inner turmoil.
The more that I read here And the clearer I allow my head to become I am beginning to realize that I trap myself in an anxiety whirlpool every time I use booze to alleviate anxiety, stress, and fear. I drink to take my mind off of some kind of problem, real or perceived, and all I end up doing is creating more anxiety as I avoid the real issues and create additional anxiety simply through the act of consuming alcohol. My coping mechanism has trapped me in a loop that will continue until I address the causes of my anxiety that makes me turn to alcohol in the first place.
This is me in a nutshell, so I will be using this forum as a way to continue being inspired by others and to learn and be reminded about the reason that I need to completely remove alcohol from my life forever. Please talk me off the ledge if I ever post here and it seems like I am going to take that drink that will plunge me back into that anxiety whirlpool
I have worked hard on sobriety since then, but I have struggled to remain vigilant after I string together a decent stretch of sobriety (30 or more days). The main thing that has been a struggle for me has been the onset of anxiety that has come with with knowing the status of my health, as ignorance is no longer bliss, and the birth of my second child. I have had some crippling panic attacks and have convinced myself that I have every malady known to man as I keep turning to my trusty Dr. Google every time I so much as sniffle and use this as a perfect excuse to turn to vodka as it quiets some of the inner turmoil.
The more that I read here And the clearer I allow my head to become I am beginning to realize that I trap myself in an anxiety whirlpool every time I use booze to alleviate anxiety, stress, and fear. I drink to take my mind off of some kind of problem, real or perceived, and all I end up doing is creating more anxiety as I avoid the real issues and create additional anxiety simply through the act of consuming alcohol. My coping mechanism has trapped me in a loop that will continue until I address the causes of my anxiety that makes me turn to alcohol in the first place.
This is me in a nutshell, so I will be using this forum as a way to continue being inspired by others and to learn and be reminded about the reason that I need to completely remove alcohol from my life forever. Please talk me off the ledge if I ever post here and it seems like I am going to take that drink that will plunge me back into that anxiety whirlpool
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I drank to ease anxiety and depression but that made it so much worse. 
Stay strong. Getting sober is hard at first but it get easier. And your anxiety should settle down as long as you don't drink.
Stay strong. Getting sober is hard at first but it get easier. And your anxiety should settle down as long as you don't drink. Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
When I was having anxiety and panic attacks because of financial issues I drank. It only made it worse because I was still broke and was spending even more money on the alcohol, making the problem worse. But for a brief second when I was drunk I felt relief. It didn't make it any easier in the morning and the anxiety got worse as I went through withdrawal until I could pick up my next drink.
When I quit drinking, after a while my anxiety attacks have almost completely gone away. Sometimes when faced with big expenses I get a twinge of panic and revert to old behavior, thinking a drink will fix it, but that is only a thought. I don't act on it now.
You are facing some real and imagined health issues (if you are listening to everything Dr,Google says). Your real issues will not resolve themselves if you continue drinking and you know this. Feeling anxiety is at first very uncomfortable but I've found that the longer I have sober, the easier it gets. I still don't like it but it is manageable and I am able to make better decisions.
Feel better. Come here for support and maybe talk to your doctor about this for advice. be honest about your alcohol consumption.
When I quit drinking, after a while my anxiety attacks have almost completely gone away. Sometimes when faced with big expenses I get a twinge of panic and revert to old behavior, thinking a drink will fix it, but that is only a thought. I don't act on it now.
You are facing some real and imagined health issues (if you are listening to everything Dr,Google says). Your real issues will not resolve themselves if you continue drinking and you know this. Feeling anxiety is at first very uncomfortable but I've found that the longer I have sober, the easier it gets. I still don't like it but it is manageable and I am able to make better decisions.
Feel better. Come here for support and maybe talk to your doctor about this for advice. be honest about your alcohol consumption.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Montana
Posts: 151
We all have an enemy we must face. My enemy attacks me much like yours does. First off, find out if there is anything wrong worth talking to your doctor about. Secondly, stay off the internet medical sites!!!!! They have been a nightmare for me. Every time I go on web md I'm convinced I have cancer or aids. Lol. Previous therapy, anxiety workbooks, rational thought, trusting my higher power, and ignoring all the negative thoughts that creep into my mind help greatly. Try writing down your fears on paper and getting a birds eye view on how ridiculously outrageous our thoughts can be. Also, how would you respond if someone else came to you with your worries? It's not healthy to be trapped inside ourselves like this. It's a beautiful world out there. Talking to someone else like a therapist can help a great deal. Drinking makes anxiety and depression much worse. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
brauggi, there is so much support here, you can stay sober! i know that you have some serious health concerns, but you still have what sounds like a beautiful family and a great life. Alcohol can ruin all that if you let it.
You should do some research on PAWS (protracted acute withdrawal syndrome) here and on some other sites. Basically, your brain had to adapt its chemical balance to respond to the prolonged alcohol intake, and it will take some time to recover. During this time, you will experience more anxiety, depression, low moods, fogginess and poor quality of thoughts.
These symptoms will go away, but only if you keep away from alcohol. it takes a different amount of time for everyone, so it is tough to say how long it will be for you, but as the months go by, it will get substantially better.
I think being in a better state of mind will help you address your other health concerns.
best of luck to you! stay strong
You should do some research on PAWS (protracted acute withdrawal syndrome) here and on some other sites. Basically, your brain had to adapt its chemical balance to respond to the prolonged alcohol intake, and it will take some time to recover. During this time, you will experience more anxiety, depression, low moods, fogginess and poor quality of thoughts.
These symptoms will go away, but only if you keep away from alcohol. it takes a different amount of time for everyone, so it is tough to say how long it will be for you, but as the months go by, it will get substantially better.
I think being in a better state of mind will help you address your other health concerns.
best of luck to you! stay strong
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
Dr. Google is the worst!!! It, in and of itself can turn into an addiction. I know all to well. I have had anxiety my entire life. But having children made it skyrocket!!!! So did my alcohol intake which doubled after having my son. Maybe there was anxiety before but nothing like after worrying about keeping a child safe and secure... it adds more onto an already overloaded pile. Alcohol is the absolute worst for people who already have existing issues because what at first seems to relieve the symptoms ends up exacerbating them. The first 3 months for me was the most challenging.
I still have anxiety but it is night and day to the drinking/anxiety. Being a parent is hard hard work and that along with getting sober is hard work to but it's worth it. All of it. Reach out every time you need help. come on here and post.
I still have anxiety but it is night and day to the drinking/anxiety. Being a parent is hard hard work and that along with getting sober is hard work to but it's worth it. All of it. Reach out every time you need help. come on here and post.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
I second the idea of the whirlpool -- it's really a vicious circle:
more anxiety -> drinking -> worse problems (health, etc.) -> more anxiety -> drinking ... and around and around it goes.
I'm glad you are committed to breaking the cycle.
more anxiety -> drinking -> worse problems (health, etc.) -> more anxiety -> drinking ... and around and around it goes.
I'm glad you are committed to breaking the cycle.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Ug, I dont miss the anxiety. Later on it turned into complete paranoia. I was a beer and sometimes wine drinker. Viscous cycle. I would start drinking to numb the anxiety, wake up more anxious and guilt ridden, SOMEHOW get through the work day, get home and start drinking again to comfort myself. UG! There is no end to it, unless you stop drinking. Drives me nuts to even think about it.
Recognising my AV
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
Good post, Brauggi - you show some clear insight.
As someone who (although I didn't realise it at the time) used ever increasing volumes of booze to self medicate I empathise with you completely.
Anxiety is something that is arguably a natural response to some of the crap life throws at us from time to time. If dealt with inappropriately or incompletely it may lead to a chronic attacks of anxiety or panic attacks.
I experienced these for many years from my early twenties apparently but at the time I thought I was just going mad. The best medicine I found didn't need a prescription and I could by it everywhere
What I didn't realise was how much it actually added to the problem - I didn't treat the cause, just the symptoms - and the treatment made the symptoms a million times worse and perpetuated them indefinitely.
Investigate the root cause of your anxiety with a professional not the internet (Google convinced me I needed a hysterectomy once!!!!) and know that drinking will only make it better for a short time and will then kick you in the nuts for so much longer............
All the best mate
As someone who (although I didn't realise it at the time) used ever increasing volumes of booze to self medicate I empathise with you completely.
Anxiety is something that is arguably a natural response to some of the crap life throws at us from time to time. If dealt with inappropriately or incompletely it may lead to a chronic attacks of anxiety or panic attacks.
I experienced these for many years from my early twenties apparently but at the time I thought I was just going mad. The best medicine I found didn't need a prescription and I could by it everywhere
What I didn't realise was how much it actually added to the problem - I didn't treat the cause, just the symptoms - and the treatment made the symptoms a million times worse and perpetuated them indefinitely.
Investigate the root cause of your anxiety with a professional not the internet (Google convinced me I needed a hysterectomy once!!!!) and know that drinking will only make it better for a short time and will then kick you in the nuts for so much longer............
All the best mate
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
You're in a great place! Realizing so much of this at just 31 is a blessing.
I had to follow the path of denial and consequences a decade beyond that mark and sure wish my eyes had been as open as yours at your age.
If I were to talk to me back then, I'd tell me to get my butt to AA with a full willingness and an open mind, to also get back to a counselor and to spend a lot of time in nature and exercising.
Those three ingredients alone make a HUGE difference with the anxiety. Working the steps has been crucial. Meditation came later but also has been powerful.
You don't have to go on in the cycle and it does get better, but it requires active change.
Welcome.
I had to follow the path of denial and consequences a decade beyond that mark and sure wish my eyes had been as open as yours at your age.
If I were to talk to me back then, I'd tell me to get my butt to AA with a full willingness and an open mind, to also get back to a counselor and to spend a lot of time in nature and exercising.
Those three ingredients alone make a HUGE difference with the anxiety. Working the steps has been crucial. Meditation came later but also has been powerful.
You don't have to go on in the cycle and it does get better, but it requires active change.
Welcome.
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