lilsmum

As I sit here writing this I feel defeated. Last night I drank so technically I havent even gone 24 hours yet. But I will. Today is the day that I take back my life and choose not to drink anymore. Last night was bad. It started good then went bad. Lately my drinking has lead me to a Dr. Jeckle (can't spell) and Mr. Hyde. It leaves me a person I dont want to be a person I don't recognize and surely do not want my children to see. So I feel defeated cause last night was bad and I again am at day one. This time I know however there is no middle ground for drinking for me I am an alcoholic and I will stop. I am hoping this forum will help me in those times I feel bored or lost and feel like taking a drink. I am up for any suggestions as well on ways to maintain sobriety.

Goliath68

Although I'm in position to give advice, today was my day one once again and I am 46 and the longest I have stayed sober has been 29 days, I can wish you the best. I've done a lot of reading on the site today and found a lot of good information such good books to read in recovery, what PAWS is, read good inspiring stories about sobriety and read posts from people I can relate to.
I'm worries I will go back to drinking once again but I'm hoping this site and the recommended books will keep me stronger this time.
Good luck and I hope one day to read about your successes

Soberwolf

Welcome to the forum youl find lots of support try this link my friend

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Thepatman

Welcome. I was also a completelly different person when I drank. In my early years it was not like this. But once the party is broken, it can never be fixed.

As some have said before, a pickle cannot go back to being a cucomber.

OklaBH

Its progressive. It will get worse. I promise. Im glad you came here. Please make the commitment to stop.

Diysherman

Hey lilsmum. Stand tough, Stay strong!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

There is support here 24/7, posting BEFORE you have that first drink could make a real difference in remaining Sober!!

Mac1

Hi lilsmum, that feeling of defeat is so familiar. But this forum is proof that things can and do change! I'm in the early stage of recovery myself but already things are so much better. I wish you all the best.

You can do this

robgt350

I also had a few day one's. To me the good thing about day one is that I did not give up and u r back at it. This is a great place there is a chat room here where u can talk to people in real time and shear stories and experiences. It really helped me at times.

downtown3

you really need to surround your life in every respect toward sobriety. From the moment you wake up till you go to bed. Change everything you use to do. Get a book on sobriety and read it everyday, when your done with that one get another. Come on here post and read. Start being healthy, exercise and eat well. Sign up for the gym, buy some running shoes or a new bike. Go to the supermarket and buy healthy food. Go to the vitamine store and buy some supps to aid in recovery and overall health. All these things will begin to shift your thinking. You are trying to surround yourself with healthy non drinking reminders. It will become routine and once you get into it drinking will seem so ridiculous that you wont even think twice about it. Thats what i did and i am almost a year sober this dec 22. I was at the bottom, lost jobs, financial mess, unhealthy and overweight (compared to what i use to be). Its so doable you can do it. Make some big changes and watch the magic happen.

matilda123

Welcome!!

MCAL880

I am so sorry to hear you are back at day one, but happy to see you have re committed yourself to sobriety. I am also a mom of two kiddos and they are the primary reason why I am striving to stay sober. This weekend has been the first in a long time that I have managed to get through without booze. I have been trying to keep busy, with a list of things to do and errands to run in order to re route my alcoholic thoughts. Whenever I find myself starting to waver I have been logging on to this site in order to gain insight and strength from others who are in my shoes. Try to stay strong for your kids, your family and for yourself. You can do this!

JetIonic

Hi Mum,

One of the things that I have read here that has helped me tremendously is this (and I am paraphrasing): If you feel like you want a drink to alleviate the boredom, then think of boredom as serenity, and enjoy that serene feeling.

I am a newbie and am glad you are here.

strategery

I was wondering how you were doing lilsmum and am sorry to hear you slipped. I would think about why you picked up and make a plan as to how you will handle it differently so you have a plan of attack next time.
What kinds of things are you into doing?

439trish

so glad you came right back lilsmum, and you are in good company, so many of us have had numerous attempts, me for sure. but never give up, never, never, never

Nic233

Good luck Lilsmum.. I also have two kids (12 and 14) and really need to get sober for them. I am back on day 2 and am really struggling. I have also realised that there is no middle ground either..I am either a non-drinker or I am a rotten drunk... I really hope you find success this time round. I'm in a similar space if you need an ear xxx

Jsbodhi

I'm Mr. Hyde more often than not when drinking, it's a very bad feeling. But at least Mr. Hyde goes away when the alcohol leaves
( Mr. Hyde is the bad one right?)