Getting back on the wagon...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Mrrryah, I know for me, balance is the basis and fundamental to my recovery. I tend to be an all-or-nothing person either, but I knew I couldn't let recovery overwhelm me or it wasn't going to work. I walk a lot, I read spiritual books, I journal, I post on SR and I spend time alone when I can. Those are all recovery-related to me and it works well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 151
Are you jocking or being serious ? either way I was chuckling after reading it , january is a bad mont to quite as well as is febuary because of valentines day , and and march because of st pattys day, and I wouldn't recomend april because drinking out on a spring patio is a right of passage , maybe may ?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
some very good suggestions and thoughts here. special nod to FreeOwl and HeartCore.
I have to agree with the back on the wagon thing sounds so temporary, I needed to quit for good, Have you looked at AVRT? You might try it. rational recovery made a huge difference for me. AA helped me recover my life.
Love from Lenina
I have to agree with the back on the wagon thing sounds so temporary, I needed to quit for good, Have you looked at AVRT? You might try it. rational recovery made a huge difference for me. AA helped me recover my life.
Love from Lenina
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi Mrryah - welcome back 
I agree that balance is important, and that will help immensely - but you need to take drinking/drugging off the table as a viable option for yourself.
That old 'don't drink/drug no matter what' thing needs to be your mantra now - without committing totally to that, you'll just spinning your wheels and you'll never find balance.
D
I agree that balance is important, and that will help immensely - but you need to take drinking/drugging off the table as a viable option for yourself.
That old 'don't drink/drug no matter what' thing needs to be your mantra now - without committing totally to that, you'll just spinning your wheels and you'll never find balance.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi Mrryah - welcome back
I agree that balance is important, and that will help immensely - but you need to take drinking/drugging off the table as a viable option for yourself.
That old 'don't drink/drug no matter what' thing needs to be your mantra now - without committing totally to that, you'll just spinning your wheels and you'll never find balance.
D
I agree that balance is important, and that will help immensely - but you need to take drinking/drugging off the table as a viable option for yourself.
That old 'don't drink/drug no matter what' thing needs to be your mantra now - without committing totally to that, you'll just spinning your wheels and you'll never find balance.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
funny how we can find ways to consider it TOO MUCH to attend sober meetings on a regular recurring basis, but had NO problem drinking all the damn time.
Mrrryrah, i think your only BALANCE problem is you keep FALLING for booze. you still reserve the right to drink. you still give yourself permission. you still have not committed to NOT DRINKING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. and so your sober train never really gets rolling down the tracks.....you've littered it with too many excuses.
here's the deal, THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO DRINK. there is not one single event or occurance for which the appropriate and obviousl response it to take a drink. ok MAYBE in an old John Wayne film right before he digs the bullet out of his leg with a bowie knife.....and half the booze he used as antiseptic. other than that? drinking is only an OPTIONAL act.
bad days, good days, boring days, rainy days, sad days, long days, birthdays, holidays, car get impounded days, just got fired days, feeling sorry for myself days.....
alcohol is not a solution.
you want to know the secret to a happy sober life? quit drinking and drugging permanently, get off your bum, get to meetings, stick with the winners and BUILD that life you want. you can't order one of ebay. some assembly IS required! and it won't get delivered TO you via Fed Ex. YOU have to do the work, you have to choose EACH and EVERY day what kind of life you want and then act accordingly. if you think life sucks, then change your thinking. cuz life just IS.....the sun comes up, the flowers bloom, the tides roll in WHETHER you are looking or not. we aren't on hold out here waiting for you........like in a freeze frame. you are welcome to join ANY TIME!
Mrrryrah, i think your only BALANCE problem is you keep FALLING for booze. you still reserve the right to drink. you still give yourself permission. you still have not committed to NOT DRINKING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. and so your sober train never really gets rolling down the tracks.....you've littered it with too many excuses.
here's the deal, THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO DRINK. there is not one single event or occurance for which the appropriate and obviousl response it to take a drink. ok MAYBE in an old John Wayne film right before he digs the bullet out of his leg with a bowie knife.....and half the booze he used as antiseptic. other than that? drinking is only an OPTIONAL act.
bad days, good days, boring days, rainy days, sad days, long days, birthdays, holidays, car get impounded days, just got fired days, feeling sorry for myself days.....
alcohol is not a solution.
you want to know the secret to a happy sober life? quit drinking and drugging permanently, get off your bum, get to meetings, stick with the winners and BUILD that life you want. you can't order one of ebay. some assembly IS required! and it won't get delivered TO you via Fed Ex. YOU have to do the work, you have to choose EACH and EVERY day what kind of life you want and then act accordingly. if you think life sucks, then change your thinking. cuz life just IS.....the sun comes up, the flowers bloom, the tides roll in WHETHER you are looking or not. we aren't on hold out here waiting for you........like in a freeze frame. you are welcome to join ANY TIME!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
I cannot say it better than Heart. A moving testament to living a full, sober life.
I can say as someone newly sober (67 days) this has been the key to my success so far. In the past, I've tried to moderate, and it has failed miserably, a) because I'm an alcoholic and b) because while the alcohol reduced or even went, what did not change was the shabby way I took care of myself. I would work myself, at the office and at home, to utter exhaustion and then "reward" myself by numbing myself with wine.
This time, I realized I have to do it differently. I have new rules that make it easier for me to draw boundaries with myself and others, and I give myself lots of treats. Now, I don't feel the need to drink to reward or to check out and some of the benefits of sobriety (sleep,success, passion, vivre de joie) are returning, and are turning into their own reward. it is a beautiful thing.
I can say as someone newly sober (67 days) this has been the key to my success so far. In the past, I've tried to moderate, and it has failed miserably, a) because I'm an alcoholic and b) because while the alcohol reduced or even went, what did not change was the shabby way I took care of myself. I would work myself, at the office and at home, to utter exhaustion and then "reward" myself by numbing myself with wine.
This time, I realized I have to do it differently. I have new rules that make it easier for me to draw boundaries with myself and others, and I give myself lots of treats. Now, I don't feel the need to drink to reward or to check out and some of the benefits of sobriety (sleep,success, passion, vivre de joie) are returning, and are turning into their own reward. it is a beautiful thing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Hmmmmm...going to lots of meetings......
What step have you gotten to? It reads to me like no step work whatsoever for quite some time.
Going to meetings and not drinking doesn't treat alcoholism.
Sittin in the garage all day won't make me a car.
What step have you gotten to? It reads to me like no step work whatsoever for quite some time.
Going to meetings and not drinking doesn't treat alcoholism.
Sittin in the garage all day won't make me a car.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 498
Originally Posted by heartcore
When I find myself trapped in the very small mental room of "recovery" - in which I feel straight-jacketed and controlled - I need to remind myself that I am the one who locked myself in there, and that at any given moment I have the capacity to let myself out.
When it is a choice between the claustrophobia of "being good" vs. the pirate freedoms, I choose to drink and "be free."
The trick for me is to break through those imaginary walls and have my sobriety be the more spacious alternative.
Too many meetings puts me in the padded walled room, the padding all the stories and emotions of myself and the group, thick and insulating. I love the program, and often love meetings, but my world feels limited and small when all the characters in it are program-speaking-folk and all my non-working time is spent rushing to and from meetings in windowless rooms.
I got sober to be in nature, to travel, to get physically fit, to learn myself, to play music, to run, to make new friends who know only this me...that's the balance for me.
I did 90 in 90 after my relapse, to be sure I was connected socially with the program/felt part of. Seriously, by the end of the 90 days, I knew that if I sat through one more meeting, I would drink just to disqualify myself! The same folks saying the same things, lives stalled and frozen in place...
Now I'm going to two meetings a week, and that is just right for me. I am excited to see people, I feel the support of the community, I have an opportunity to contribute to the community, and then I can move on to this wide, free, anything is possible life that I got sober for.
In the end - it has to be about happiness for me. If I am unhappy, I'm not going to do it. Just like if a person doesn't enjoy gym based exercise, a sense of duty isn't going to get them there three times a week, even though they signed up for a year's membership. I like to be outside; a gym membership is a waste of my money. I know that about myself, and have still tried a few times, re-learning that truth.
Same with the program. Too many meetings, and I can't stand it. I flee through relapse. I know this about myself.
I don't drink. That's all. My life isn't all about that; sobriety is a foundational factor in the good things in my life right now, but it is not the center of my attention. Many people say that is a dangerous place to be, but I feel strong here. There is too much to lose. Building a life so valuable and happy and committed that there isn't any option to throw it away. I think that is a very personal process for all of us, and this is how it works best for me.
When it is a choice between the claustrophobia of "being good" vs. the pirate freedoms, I choose to drink and "be free."
The trick for me is to break through those imaginary walls and have my sobriety be the more spacious alternative.
Too many meetings puts me in the padded walled room, the padding all the stories and emotions of myself and the group, thick and insulating. I love the program, and often love meetings, but my world feels limited and small when all the characters in it are program-speaking-folk and all my non-working time is spent rushing to and from meetings in windowless rooms.
I got sober to be in nature, to travel, to get physically fit, to learn myself, to play music, to run, to make new friends who know only this me...that's the balance for me.
I did 90 in 90 after my relapse, to be sure I was connected socially with the program/felt part of. Seriously, by the end of the 90 days, I knew that if I sat through one more meeting, I would drink just to disqualify myself! The same folks saying the same things, lives stalled and frozen in place...
Now I'm going to two meetings a week, and that is just right for me. I am excited to see people, I feel the support of the community, I have an opportunity to contribute to the community, and then I can move on to this wide, free, anything is possible life that I got sober for.
In the end - it has to be about happiness for me. If I am unhappy, I'm not going to do it. Just like if a person doesn't enjoy gym based exercise, a sense of duty isn't going to get them there three times a week, even though they signed up for a year's membership. I like to be outside; a gym membership is a waste of my money. I know that about myself, and have still tried a few times, re-learning that truth.
Same with the program. Too many meetings, and I can't stand it. I flee through relapse. I know this about myself.
I don't drink. That's all. My life isn't all about that; sobriety is a foundational factor in the good things in my life right now, but it is not the center of my attention. Many people say that is a dangerous place to be, but I feel strong here. There is too much to lose. Building a life so valuable and happy and committed that there isn't any option to throw it away. I think that is a very personal process for all of us, and this is how it works best for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 498
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
funny how we can find ways to consider it TOO MUCH to attend sober meetings on a regular recurring basis, but had NO problem drinking all the damn time.
Mrrryrah, i think your only BALANCE problem is you keep FALLING for booze. you still reserve the right to drink. you still give yourself permission. you still have not committed to NOT DRINKING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. and so your sober train never really gets rolling down the tracks.....you've littered it with too many excuses.
here's the deal, THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO DRINK. there is not one single event or occurance for which the appropriate and obviousl response it to take a drink. ok MAYBE in an old John Wayne film right before he digs the bullet out of his leg with a bowie knife.....and half the booze he used as antiseptic. other than that? drinking is only an OPTIONAL act.
bad days, good days, boring days, rainy days, sad days, long days, birthdays, holidays, car get impounded days, just got fired days, feeling sorry for myself days.....
alcohol is not a solution.
you want to know the secret to a happy sober life? quit drinking and drugging permanently, get off your bum, get to meetings, stick with the winners and BUILD that life you want. you can't order one of ebay. some assembly IS required! and it won't get delivered TO you via Fed Ex. YOU have to do the work, you have to choose EACH and EVERY day what kind of life you want and then act accordingly. if you think life sucks, then change your thinking. cuz life just IS.....the sun comes up, the flowers bloom, the tides roll in WHETHER you are looking or not. we aren't on hold out here waiting for you........like in a freeze frame. you are welcome to join ANY TIME!
Mrrryrah, i think your only BALANCE problem is you keep FALLING for booze. you still reserve the right to drink. you still give yourself permission. you still have not committed to NOT DRINKING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. and so your sober train never really gets rolling down the tracks.....you've littered it with too many excuses.
here's the deal, THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO DRINK. there is not one single event or occurance for which the appropriate and obviousl response it to take a drink. ok MAYBE in an old John Wayne film right before he digs the bullet out of his leg with a bowie knife.....and half the booze he used as antiseptic. other than that? drinking is only an OPTIONAL act.
bad days, good days, boring days, rainy days, sad days, long days, birthdays, holidays, car get impounded days, just got fired days, feeling sorry for myself days.....
alcohol is not a solution.
you want to know the secret to a happy sober life? quit drinking and drugging permanently, get off your bum, get to meetings, stick with the winners and BUILD that life you want. you can't order one of ebay. some assembly IS required! and it won't get delivered TO you via Fed Ex. YOU have to do the work, you have to choose EACH and EVERY day what kind of life you want and then act accordingly. if you think life sucks, then change your thinking. cuz life just IS.....the sun comes up, the flowers bloom, the tides roll in WHETHER you are looking or not. we aren't on hold out here waiting for you........like in a freeze frame. you are welcome to join ANY TIME!
Thanks. I need this kind of talk, no one ever says this. There is no reason to drink.
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