Scared1234

I am having such a hard time getting into the sober mind frame. How did you get past the first couple days/weeks without giving into that alcoholic voice quietly trying to convince you to drink? I find myself just casually walking into liquor stores buying booze that I dont really want to drink in the first place..Its 100% autopilot sometimes

PurpleKnight

A few practical things I built into my routine, logging into SR every morning, afternoon and evening, that kept my focus on the task at hand.

I literally barricaded myself in my house for a month, except for going to work I stayed in, no socialising, no risk of going to bars, no friend's birthdays, no parties etc

I got pretty serious in my actions, I would leave my bank cards at home, so no stopping off at the liquor store on the way home from work!!

After a month things got easier, building up your Sober muscles in the beginning I think is soo important, what is a month when we spent years of drinking? there's still plenty of time to rebuild our lives!!

Nonsensical

One day I finally realized that alcoholic voice is a liar. In 25 years that summbeach hasn't told me one true thing. It's the voice of the addicted part of my brain that will tell me anything to get me to drink. None of it is true.

I decided to stop acting on the advice of a known liar. My life is vastly better as a result. I highly recommend it.

Anna

I made myself change my daily routine to get rid of that auto-pilot feeling. I'm a routine-oriented person and it really helped me to do things at different times, shop at different stores, change my plans for the evenings, anything that deviated from the norm.

least

The first few weeks are tough. But you just have to make changes in your life to support a sober lifestyle. Staying home a lot might be a place to start building your sober muscles.

Briar

I posted on SR pretty much every miserable thing that went through my head and put my blind faith in everything people told me.

...I still do that, actually.

I didn't go to the store for over a week because I knew I'd buy vodka if I went in there. We ate a lot of beans and rice.

I went to a meeting and told the people there what was going on. That made it more real for me and gave me some accountability.

FeelingGreat

All the tips about changing routine and avoiding triggers are important and spot-on. I had to convince myself that I needed to stop drinking. Without that basic belief that sobriety is essential to you, it's hard to resist starting again.
So I knew I needed to stop but didn't have the desire. I had to work on that bit:

1. I spoke to my doctor, who in truth didn't do much, but gave me moral support and someone to talk to.

2. I spent a lot of time on the internet and reading books on alcoholism. Articles on the stages of alcoholism allowed me to look into the future, at what I'd be like in 5 years time if I didn't stop now. Also public health information on cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease etc. was pretty scary.

It didn't work right away, but within a couple of months my mindset had changed enough to allow me to quit. About the same time I discovered SR, and I'm convinced this has kept me on track.

BuddinK

I adopted the mindset that drinking is something I no longer do, like many other things I don't do anymore. I also use the term "retired" rather than "quit", to me it just sounds better.

esinger

Well, I got slapped in the face after failing a couple to get sober that I wasn't welcome in my own home. I had done the twelve step thing, went to rehab, but when it all came down to it the choice was to die alone and a drunk or pull my head out of my a$$ and figure out how to live sober.
Now that I have a couple of years behind me I have a hard time fathoming why it was so difficult. Why did I put so much time and effort into numbing myself out and making myself stupid. Why in the world would I have consciously put myself, my family and loved ones through this torment.
It takes a whole change of perspective and considerable work but it's worth it. Things aren't perfect for me but sobriety has been very liberating.
I don't recommend getting to where I was when I finally figured it out.

Tamerua

Kept busy, didn't go out for about 30'days, read here, journaled.... Remember why you are quitting. It is so easy to forget the anxiety and depression once we physically feel better, which is. Good reason to write it down. You can go back to it when you feel like you can handle just one.

Willdoit

I think about hangovers, throwing up , acting like a fool then I donte want a drink.

Watching a YouTube video on here yesterday 2 people died in it and the 3 rd a few weeks after.

Reading this form every day also helps, but I have tried and failed many times this time I hope I will be ok 7 days now.

Jsbodhi

I'm still in my first week. I've been trying to go with the flow if that makes sense. I'm not freaking out about never drinking again, and honestly I feel so grateful when I finally make it through the day sober, and I'm in bed. I know this sounds weird, but as I lay down at the end of the day and I made it, I feel so thankful and I don't feel proud of myself so much as I think " I'm safe, I'm safe" alcohol was getting really scary for me, binges more frequent, blackouts, bad behaviour etc.
It hasn't been easy, but I feel safe wrapped in a blanket of sobriety. Thankful I don't have to live like that anymore, even though I've come seriously close to relapse a few times this week, tonight was the closest I came.
I don't really know what I'm doing, all I know is I want a better life for myself. I don't want to be that drunk horrible girl anymore, making bad decisions. I just want to be a better person and have a better life.
Haha! Sorry! I totally just used your thread as my diary!!! I'll post it anyway, maybe you'll get something from it, if not at least I got it off my chest.
Best wishes and we can do this <3

JanieJ

Hi, 1234, yeah I know that auto pilot feeling. Once you recognise it ,you can do something about it.

The first couple of weeks were tough for me, I just had to do whatever it took to not drink. It did get easier.

I shouted at my AV, "no no no !" for about ten days.

I had to be very determined while my body was still in that initial stage of craving.

Some good tips above, hang in there, you can do this.

Ruby2

All good suggestions. Change up the routine. I read and posted on here a lot. I had a plan for the grocery store. I had friends from AA and if I was at the store I carried my phone in my hand as a reminder that I could call or text someone if I felt myself wandering near the liquor aisle. If I felt I was going to be weak I had my mother lined up to shop with me.

But above all I fought it. Sometimes painfully so. There were a bunch of times I was out the door and at the gate with keys in hand ready to go out but I wrenched myself back inside. By body and brain felt at war with each other. The urges would pass. I just kept at it. Kept fighting. I started going to AA meetings again and reading AA literature. Getting phone numbers of people to call and using them. And just realizing I had to change or nothing would change. It got easier as time went on. It has been 365 days today since my last drink but I have to do this one day at a time. You can do it.

twentyfive

I have a day or 6 and struggled at first. But what helped me was:

1. Posting here.
2. Going to my doctor for help.
3. Changing my lifestyle to it being focused on health. This replaced the alcoholic lifestyle. Without the replacement there was just an empty hole of boredom.

tambdy

Keep busy, i sit every night thinking one more drink wont hurt me. I know pick one of my friends up from work at 9pm(the shop closes at 10am) if i am in the house in time before the shop shuts then i play computer or clean car etc anything to get me passed 10pm.

I only drink at night so only time it affects me.

cusper

Have you tried reading books on alcohol addiction? There was a book by Allen Carr which was really a great eye opener. I think it is called How to Control your drinking. It was really helpful. I find the more information you have on what Alcohol does to your body and mind really helps from picking up again.

Jackandbess2

I found that I had to keep crazy busy virtually all of the time when I fist stopped drinking. I would catch up on chores around the house that had been really neglected. I did this kicking and screaming by the way but it worked for me. I also took up knitting which I learnt from scratch watching YouTube videos. I don't do any of that stuff now, 9 months on, as I have settled into living without alcohol and life just is normal for me again. Can life ever feel satisfying and normal without alcohol? Hell yes! Will having a drink eventually be the last thing on your mind? Hell yes. For now do what ever it takes you to not pick up that first drink and trust me if I can do it (I come from a long line of alcoholics) then anyone can do it!

Alwyshope12

The first few weeks were tough as I had to retrain myself not to go to the store when I was bored or feeling like I wanted to escape from my life.

In the beginning it seemed at times like all my nerves were screaming for a break from the anxiety and depression that lack of alcohol was bringing on. I had to think long and hard about why I wanted to run to the store for that bottle. Sometimes, I just went to bed very early, as I had nothing to do, and did not want to go out and put myself in a difficult position.

Education was a big part of the early process for me. Reading this sight, old posts, following people who had consistently goos posts and observing their progress from the early days of quitting to their later days was inspirational.

Education also helped me prepare myself for some of the turns the recovery takes. Learning about the post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS), helped me prepare myself for what was coming down the road. For me, initial stopping was fine, few symptoms, but the later weeks were difficult, and still are, as my brain slowly comes back into balance.

Patience was also one of the most critical things to learn. Drinking made me hyper, I would have tons of energy, otherwise known as anxiety. I kept myself busy and drank to "come down". But without the alcohol, I was very tired, slept a ton, and now I am learning to let me body go through the cycles I will go through in order for it to come back into balance. Many people mention 90 days as the first big milestone for this. Im working my way there.

Coming up with a plan is what i am working on now. How will I structure my life to bring new things into it so that I do not have as much down time and am not as tempted to drink?

SR has been a big piece of my learning. stay close to this and other support groups and I think you will be successful. As long as you are not drinking, you are probably not doing anything too wrong.

Serenidad

Oh how I relate to your post! It's a miserable place to be. I was stuck on day 3 or 4 for over a year. I just couldn't get past day 4...then I did!

I'm not sure what was different. The last time I drank I was so sad, anxious, defeated, full if guilt and shame and suicide was crossing my mind. It was an extremely dark place.

I prayed to God out of desperation to help me. I was sitting outside of a bar vomiting. It was miserable. I started AA the very next day and got a sponsor and just starting doing WHATEVER I needed to do to stay sober. I was sick and tired of being sick and tried.

I just felt like a zombie walking thru life only living to drink. It wasn't until I got in enough pain that I put the plug in the jug. THEN I started to change all my routines, trying to avoid triggers, getting some exercise, drinking lots of water, avoiding caffeine and nicotine, trying to get rest, self-care, just the basics...my only goal for each day was (and still is) to stay sober. Anything else I did was a bonus.

You can do this! :-)