JimJim

All right, I'm pretty ashamed of the posts I made on my last binge. Ashamed, lowly all that jaz, tired of crying wolf etc. I beg If you care to listen, do so, if it tires you you're free to move on. I can promise you though It's night time and I've laid out my clothes and set the alarm, for which my sister, lovingly bought me for rehab in the morning. This is outpatient, so I will get what I put in. phew! (I've never expected a cavalry to come, nor will I ever)

For those of you that love a bit of irony, it will be my 31st birthday tomorrow and so I'll leave you with this poem from Sylvia Plath.


The figs on the fig tree in the yard are green; Green, also, the grapes on the green vine Shading the brickred porch tiles. The money's run out.

How nature, sensing this, compounds her bitters. Ungifted, ungrieved, our leavetaking. The sun shines on unripe corn. Cats play in the stalks.

Retrospect shall not often such penury- Sun's brass, the moon's steely patinas, The leaden slag of the world- But always expose

The scraggy rock spit shielding the town's blue bay Against which the brunt of outer sea Beats, is brutal endlessly. Gull-fouled, a stone hut

Bares its low lintel to corroding weathers: Across the jut of ochreous rock Goats shamble, morose, rank-haired, To lick the sea-salt.


My porch has gone all right. Yes, sorry I couldn't offer a clenched fist and propose an everything's gonna be all right, a kinda yeh, you can do this. Come on man? A positive attitude? No thanks, that aint gonna cut it. Sorry(maybe not).

I guess I feel a bit like a desperate man, pretty concerned about the future, if one.

least

I hope rehab is helpful and goes well for you.

Dee74

I thought it was inpatient Jim?

D

airwick

Wishing you the Best

Mountainmanbob

Good luck with your Program

Hope you make the best of it

MM

JimJim

My support worker assessed me, I must have not met the criteria for a dry house option. Maybe I shouldn't have shaved that day I dunno. Maybe I came accross 'Jim knows best 'I'll save myself''?.

I've had that impression before 'oh what are you doing here, you don't seem that bad' All right maybe I shoulda queried this when I received the letter, that she had taken me off her case.

Oh flipping hell man, I'm gonna throw my head in circles here, be saved , save yourself etc.

Dee74

No point in second guessing yourself now

Try outpatient...if you decide you need more I'm sure you can follow that up Jim

D

PurpleKnight

Hope it all goes well Jim!!

JimJim

,

Soberwolf

Good luck

wehav2day

Jim, so glad you are going! Set the alarm, go, get every last drop out of that program, man. Hug it like the lifeline it is. If you need inpatient, at least you will be on their radar and be sent there faster.

No second guessing, go for it. Proud of you.

Hevyn

We won't give up on you Jim.

Nuudawn

I hope it helps Jim.

LBrain

good luck

Marcher13

Jim stop overthinking it - get a good night's sleep, get up well in the morning and go! So many of us will be sending you thoughts/prayers and good karma as you go about eight hours from now.

strategery

I hope you are able to get the recovery resources you need to beat your addiction.

Anna

Jim, give outpatient a chance. Give it your best and you'll be fine. It's discouraging at the moment, but tomorrow when you're at the treatment center, I think you'll feel better.

Northlander

Hey Jim - you are one of the people I always thank for my sobriety (21 months today) because you were one of the founders of the class of March 2013. It has been wonderful for me and this is what I wish for you - sobriety and peace of mind. Sending you all my best for outpatient.

Dee74

I hope all went well Jim

D

Northlander

Hi Jim - hope you are well and I'm wondering how the outpatient is going. Please keep us posted, folks care about you.