Having a rough time!
 

Isn't it strange, I appeared financially better off when I was drunk all the time! I am really going through crap at the moment ! I don't know what to do! I am going to bounce on a couple of bills this month and this is without going to the pub once! This sober life is great but why oh why does everything feel ten times worse? Is it because I am more aware?

Don't get me wrong, hospital car parks and living in the hospital for a week whilst my dad was in critical care could also have a lot to do with this! Just seems hardly worth being sober some days!

Has anyone else had similar issues ? How long did it take you to get sorted? By the way, I acknowledge it was all my fault and I have effectively blown £25,000 of loans on drinking over the last couple of years, so all my own fault, I just want to get straight.

Hope this will all be worth the struggle!

Just to add had a credit card bill and had to make an immediate payment and not paid until Friday! Feel ill right now and thinking that if I had a drink at least I would forget this! I am 56 days sober and I know it will make matters worse but just feel in a hole!

Buggirl.... I understand where you are at. I have many debts still to pay. But let's look at this from a realistic perspective.

I have one of two directions. Make it worse by drinking and not paying bills with that money. Or live through the TEMPORARY pain of paying the debts and moving on.

I choose to take the pain. Know I have control over the inevitable outcome. And move past it.

I don't know for certain what will be next after that. But I know that without drinking I can be certain what it won't be.

Good you are venting here. It sucks sometimes and no one knows that like we do on SR.

Good to see you!

K

Thanks so much for that, much needed advice! X

Sorry you are having a difficult time.

We took years to build a huge pile of crap. We built it little by little and now have to clean it little by little. One shovel of crap at a time.

Stay strong, hope your father gets better.

Thanks! Needed to hear that too! :tyou

Appearing better off financially while
drinking was only an illusion. A lie.
Those bills were still there whether
you forgot about them or not.
Take into consideration the $ you're
saving while not purchasing alcohol.
(X$ x 56 days)=?$
56 days are fabulous!
Don't toss them away.
You may forget about the bills
temporarily, only to wake up with
a stack of them and a hangover.
You can do this, Buggirl. Go for it!

Don't numb yourself with alcohol the problem is still there. Face it an work through it you'll be ok.

Hang in there, I totally get it. My reasoning is that if you were still drinking it would only be much worse financially.

Hi and try to hang on one day at a time in a row.
As said we did these things over time and it will take that if we like it or not. It was sort of my learning curve and I need to remember it as it was not a pleasant time to need to rebuild so much, mentally and emotionally.

BE WELL

I went through something similar. I did not hit my bottom till I went into recovery. In active addiction I made a living , got a graduate degree, and was holding it together on the outside. But inside I felt awful all the time. And looking back, I would have not been able to stay on top of things.

In recovery, I found myself alone in a strange town. I had to learn to drive and there was no work in my field. I was so broke that it was a year before I could aford to get a phone. So it took a long time to get my life back. Looking back, it really was worth it.

It takes time and facing the facts. So many times I would wish it would go away and not feel so bad and that a few days of drinking would at least give me a break from the anxiety. But, it always comes back to facing up to the facts. It can be a long road. Stck with expressing yourself here and you will get more skills. SR really helps if you let it. Good Luck and Blessings.

Hi Buggirl. You know life doesn't move in straight lines and it's not always fair or reasonable. I am sorry to hear about your father, it sounds difficult to deal with and I went through something similar a few years ago.

What i can tell you is that you need to decouple drinking from the other things that are happening in your life. If you drink it will do nothing to help your father and it will worsen your financial situation and it will also worsen your anxiety most likely.

PLEASE....stay sober and the rest will come together for you in time. Good luck.

Years ago my husband and I sold our business for a loss and were left with seemingly insurmountable debt, even to the IRS. Wish I could say I sobered up and faced it head on - but fortunately, in spite of that we made it through.

In these tough times you'll find that many creditors are willing to work with you if you discuss your situation with them. They deal with a zillion people who try to hide, and being direct tells them you are at least trying to get on your feet without stiffing them. I can't tell you how often I was relieved after making a phone call to them that filled me with fear and anxiety.

There are many online resources I used for advice on how to deal with them.

You have one up on me - you're staying sober through it!

Earlyriser

Buggirl, I am so sorry you are having these difficulties. I agree with the other posters. Alcohol will only make things worse. Can you call your creditors and explain the situation? I wouldn't wait until the creditors are calling you. Sometimes, they will give you an extension or you can pay a small fee to "buy" an extension on your loans. It's always best to communicate with your creditors as opposed to avoiding them.

The good news is that you have 56 days sober! In just 4 days, you hit that 2 month mark! You are doing great. Don't let this derail you.

This ^^^^^

(((((buggirl))))))

good advice and counsel given...

I'd say you are becoming more aware. Often we go through life with blinders - drinking for me was putting on the blinders. Now that I can see things more clearly, I realize I have a lot of work to do to catch up. I'm nowhere near I need to be at this point in my life. But if I was still drinking I'd be falling further behind than I am now.

Hi Buggirl you have a lotgoing on and that explains it

there is no way you were better off finacially with alcohol

if you ever want to chat send a pm my friend

spk soon buggirl

I feel your pain. Clarity can suck. Keep doing the right things it will all work out. Good luck

It took me a year to get out of the financial hole I was in...seemed like forever at the time, but it's a mere blip looking back - hang in there buggirl :)

D