OklaBH

Congrats on day 3. Drinking to deal with guilt continues the cycle. That and pure obsession kept me drunk. The only way it ends is to not drink and do steps. It can be "the steps" or your own. Something much worse will happen if the cycle continues. I speak from experience

HMS

Good thing or bad thing?

Talked to the wife for the first time in a few days. I can hear the pain in her voice. The love I have stolen and wasted from her. That is a trigger. So I am on here. Typing instead of drinking.... well I am drinking, but only tea. Not the other stuff.

I apologized to her in an email the day after because we couldn't speak on the phone due to the anger for her and the guilt for me. But today I opened up to her and told her that I am ready to get help. I told her about coming here, I didn't specify the site, not yet.

Don't know if my legitimate heartburn right now is from the conversation or the Chilli cheese mac I just destroyed. ......

who knew opening up to cyberspace could be so therapeutic.

Thanks for reading my rambles

Jsbodhi

Good to hear you're talking. My boyfriend wouldn't talk to me for a few days after my lovely blackout behaviour. We're talking a bit now though.
I'm feeling really anxious and guilty today too. *sigh* at least we're not drunk.

HMS

That's right, At least we aren't drunk.

I had a very tricky situation. The owner of the company was here today and I had to go meet with them for dinner. Not really an option if I want to continue a career .. I know folks have said I could have called in sick or something but I need to advance my career. Everyone was drinking except for me and one other guy. I got a couple of odd looks because of my prior stance on drinking. But no one said a word, and everytime I got the urge to have that "just one" I thought of this site and my wife and my prior record with "Just ONE"

Thanks for being in my head tonight folks.

D

sprout50

HMS, Glad to hear you are talking with your wife even if it is just through email. As for being in social situations where there is alcohol, I have found that most people don't care if I am not drinking. As alcoholics, WE are the ones looking at who is drinking and who is not. For the most part, non alcoholics don't focus on it.

Keep at it-one day or one hour at a time.

HMS

pushing on, day 5 and feeling great.

Had a very real dream last night. A person I have not seen in over 15 years appeared in my dream. I asked her why she was there. She didn't respond. Her sister was there as well, same thing, except the sister looked very angry with me ( no history with either of them). So I asked my friend again what was going on and she said her sister was disappointed in me, but that my friend would be there to help me when I get home. I think that dream is telling me something, and it feels good and right.

Mountainmanbob

Welcome

I'm sure that sobriety could help you with many of your problems.

Mountainmanbob