Mugged
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1
Mugged
So this is my first post. Last night I was mugged in a drunken blackout. It could have been worse - I wasn't hurt. But it was a humiliating experience - to be honest I don't remember what happened but I have a vague recollection of handing over my wallet to a guy in a black hood. A passerby stopped to help me and called the police, he stayed with me and was very kind. I could barely speak to explain what had happened due to my inebriation. The police were very nice and I felt humbled by the kindness of other people helping a drunk fool. But the fact remains I drank myself into a state where I was an easy target and I couldn't identify the mugger even if he was sat in front of me right now. Thankfully, I had the sense to cancel my debit and credit cards when I got home but I have lost my drivers license, countless other cards of differing kinds and £60 cash.
If that wasn't bad enough I awoke today to a number of calls and texts from a close friend worried about whether I had got home ok. She related that I had passed out in the bar and had been the subject of many people's comments about my behaviour. There were a lot of people in that bar who I know from work so no doubt this gossip has been passed around.
I imagine at this point you're thinking I've had the wake up call I need to question my relationship with alcohol. The truth is that I have had many wake up calls, A few months ago I woke up in Accident & Emergency at my local hospital having fallen off a wall in a blackout. It is not particularly pleasant to come around from a blackout as a doctor is putting stitches in your head. The shame was far worse than the physical discomfort and the minor scar I now have on my face as a permanent reminded of that evening. Needless to say, this previous incident did not stop my drinking.
Despite what I have written above, it isn't the major incidents that make me want to quit. It is the very regular and tedious days of hungover angst where my anxiety is rocking off the chart and I've had four hours sleep. The night sweats and shaking hands. The embarrassed look at the stupid emails I sent last night at 2am. The dead eyes, bloated skin and evil breath that I try to disguise. The certain knowledge that my health is failing, I'm bad at my job and my aspirations for life are going down the toilet.
The conclusion of this is clear: quitting drinking is the only sensible decision. I know this in my head but I have trouble making it happen. I had 18 months sober a couple of years back after a previous hospitalisation, lost job and spiral of misery. In that time, I attended AA, got my life on an even keel, met some good people and did so much better at work. I basically became a much more healthy, effective and successful human being. Various things happened: my AA sponsor ditched me, I got stuck in the AA programme as I'm an atheist and resent people trying to force me into God-based recovery, I got kinda complacent about sobriety and felt I was missing out on what normal 30 somethings do - how can a sensitive person such as I possibly cope in social situations without a glass of wine. Blah blah, nothing unusual. I drank again thinking I could limit my intake to special occasions. No surprise I ended up back where I started but worse. Uncontrollable drinking, many days in bed failing at life and letting people down, wild nights ending in disaster or humiliation, physical deterioration.
I have now decided that I must stop drinking but I know enough about recovery that I must have a plan and a programme. For me, based on my previous experience, this needs to include meditation and exercise, plus meeting new people, avoiding former drinking buddies/haunts, finding new ways to relieve stress and changing everything. My trouble is that I really, really need to feel like I'm working with others and can speak to other alcoholics about our shared issues - that is crucial. But I find AA challenging - not just the God stuff but the life sentence of several meetings a week, the same old people, the complaining....Don't get me wrong I have met amazing people there, experienced kindness and heard manifest wisdom on many occasions, but it's not something that appeals every other day for the rest of my life.
Some people will now be thinking I should go to an alternative recovery programme. Trouble is that there aren't really any others in my city (London) that I can find. There are over 600 AA meetings a week here so that is a lifestyle choice it is easy to access. But not much evidence of anything else. I signed up to other stuff and received nothing. AA is in every community here and always a short walk away,
I think I need to go back to AA as there is a lot of wisdom in the rooms and great people, I just have to swallow my concerns in the interest of a greater good.
I have read many threads on SR and seen so much good sense that I really want and need to hear your views on my situation.
If that wasn't bad enough I awoke today to a number of calls and texts from a close friend worried about whether I had got home ok. She related that I had passed out in the bar and had been the subject of many people's comments about my behaviour. There were a lot of people in that bar who I know from work so no doubt this gossip has been passed around.
I imagine at this point you're thinking I've had the wake up call I need to question my relationship with alcohol. The truth is that I have had many wake up calls, A few months ago I woke up in Accident & Emergency at my local hospital having fallen off a wall in a blackout. It is not particularly pleasant to come around from a blackout as a doctor is putting stitches in your head. The shame was far worse than the physical discomfort and the minor scar I now have on my face as a permanent reminded of that evening. Needless to say, this previous incident did not stop my drinking.
Despite what I have written above, it isn't the major incidents that make me want to quit. It is the very regular and tedious days of hungover angst where my anxiety is rocking off the chart and I've had four hours sleep. The night sweats and shaking hands. The embarrassed look at the stupid emails I sent last night at 2am. The dead eyes, bloated skin and evil breath that I try to disguise. The certain knowledge that my health is failing, I'm bad at my job and my aspirations for life are going down the toilet.
The conclusion of this is clear: quitting drinking is the only sensible decision. I know this in my head but I have trouble making it happen. I had 18 months sober a couple of years back after a previous hospitalisation, lost job and spiral of misery. In that time, I attended AA, got my life on an even keel, met some good people and did so much better at work. I basically became a much more healthy, effective and successful human being. Various things happened: my AA sponsor ditched me, I got stuck in the AA programme as I'm an atheist and resent people trying to force me into God-based recovery, I got kinda complacent about sobriety and felt I was missing out on what normal 30 somethings do - how can a sensitive person such as I possibly cope in social situations without a glass of wine. Blah blah, nothing unusual. I drank again thinking I could limit my intake to special occasions. No surprise I ended up back where I started but worse. Uncontrollable drinking, many days in bed failing at life and letting people down, wild nights ending in disaster or humiliation, physical deterioration.
I have now decided that I must stop drinking but I know enough about recovery that I must have a plan and a programme. For me, based on my previous experience, this needs to include meditation and exercise, plus meeting new people, avoiding former drinking buddies/haunts, finding new ways to relieve stress and changing everything. My trouble is that I really, really need to feel like I'm working with others and can speak to other alcoholics about our shared issues - that is crucial. But I find AA challenging - not just the God stuff but the life sentence of several meetings a week, the same old people, the complaining....Don't get me wrong I have met amazing people there, experienced kindness and heard manifest wisdom on many occasions, but it's not something that appeals every other day for the rest of my life.
Some people will now be thinking I should go to an alternative recovery programme. Trouble is that there aren't really any others in my city (London) that I can find. There are over 600 AA meetings a week here so that is a lifestyle choice it is easy to access. But not much evidence of anything else. I signed up to other stuff and received nothing. AA is in every community here and always a short walk away,
I think I need to go back to AA as there is a lot of wisdom in the rooms and great people, I just have to swallow my concerns in the interest of a greater good.
I have read many threads on SR and seen so much good sense that I really want and need to hear your views on my situation.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
I see you verse... welcome. Give me some time to read your post properly and I'll post to you again. I just wanted to reply quickly because I know what a relief it has been for me to be acknowledged quickly on here. Hang in. I'll be back with whatever advice or support I feel I can offer.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Great you are back, you are OK, and making changes. Who you pay attention to in recovery is a matter for you. Who or what your God/higher power of your understanding is also up to you.
I think opening up your heart to sobriety unconditionally really helps
I think opening up your heart to sobriety unconditionally really helps
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Welcome, VerseChorusVers!
I also had misgivings about AA, and joined SoberRecovery for answers. I am still here--and still sober--two years later. Read around and post often--it works if you work it!
I also had misgivings about AA, and joined SoberRecovery for answers. I am still here--and still sober--two years later. Read around and post often--it works if you work it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by VerseChorusVers 
I have now decided that I must stop drinking but I know enough about recovery that I must have a plan and a programme. For me, based on my previous experience, this needs to include meditation and exercise, plus meeting new people, avoiding former drinking buddies/haunts, finding new ways to relieve stress and changing everything. My trouble is that I really, really need to feel like I'm working with others and can speak to other alcoholics about our shared issues - that is crucial. But I find AA challenging - not just the God stuff but the life sentence of several meetings a week, the same old people, the complaining....Don't get me wrong I have met amazing people there, experienced kindness and heard manifest wisdom on many occasions, but it's not something that appeals every other day for the rest of my life.
There is generally always someone here on SR to engage with, or you can always just come here to vent. So although not face to face, I am finding it a comforting presence and useful to me as I continue my journey toward sobriety. That's all I have right now, Look forward to seeing you around the forums. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by VerseChorusVers
I have now decided that I must stop drinking but I know enough about recovery that I must have a plan and a programme. For me, based on my previous experience, this needs to include meditation and exercise, plus meeting new people, avoiding former drinking buddies/haunts, finding new ways to relieve stress and changing everything. My trouble is that I really, really need to feel like I'm working with others and can speak to other alcoholics about our shared issues - that is crucial. But I find AA challenging - not just the God stuff but the life sentence of several meetings a week, the same old people, the complaining....Don't get me wrong I have met amazing people there, experienced kindness and heard manifest wisdom on many occasions, but it's not something that appeals every other day for the rest of my life.
Some people will now be thinking I should go to an alternative recovery programme. Trouble is that there aren't really any others in my city (London) that I can find. There are over 600 AA meetings a week here so that is a lifestyle choice it is easy to access. But not much evidence of anything else. I signed up to other stuff and received nothing. AA is in every community here and always a short walk away.
Some people will now be thinking I should go to an alternative recovery programme. Trouble is that there aren't really any others in my city (London) that I can find. There are over 600 AA meetings a week here so that is a lifestyle choice it is easy to access. But not much evidence of anything else. I signed up to other stuff and received nothing. AA is in every community here and always a short walk away.
Meetings | UK SMART Recovery
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: London
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by GroundhogDay
Welcome! I find SR to be a wonderfully supportive.
So do I, like the opening poster who I can identify with , I found AA similar to the OP that's nit a criticism it's great knowing it's there if I need it.
It's incredible how many posts I can identify with
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, VerseChorusVers! It's good to have you with us. Your story parallels mine to a degree. It wasn't one bad event that made me realize I needed to stop; rather it was years of decline. Terrible hangovers, that desperate feeling of running low after the liquor stores close, missing whole days, doing crappy at work, losing friends, losing wives and girlfriends, etc.
I am also an atheist. AVRT has worked for me. There are no meetings and no "higher power", not even any "recovery". Just the tools to recognize the Beast Voice and overcome it. Just the "bullet for my beast" slideshow was enough to keep me sober for the last two years (well, SR has helped as well!). It might help you, too.
I'm glad you found SR, VerseChorusVers!
I am also an atheist. AVRT has worked for me. There are no meetings and no "higher power", not even any "recovery". Just the tools to recognize the Beast Voice and overcome it. Just the "bullet for my beast" slideshow was enough to keep me sober for the last two years (well, SR has helped as well!). It might help you, too.
I'm glad you found SR, VerseChorusVers!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 174
Hi and Welcome! I am glad to hear you got home safe despite loosing some of your stuff. It sounds to me like you have really thought long and hard about your drinking and what it is doing to your life. I can totally relate - for me it was the same way, it wasn't 1 or 2 major incidents that prompted my quitting but just an overall all feeling of misery after a night of drinking...played on repeat night after night. After a while it becomes insanity to continue doing it to yourself. It defies all reason.
This is very important and i am glad you included this in your post
"For me, based on my previous experience, this needs to include meditation and exercise, plus meeting new people, avoiding former drinking buddies/haunts, finding new ways to relieve stress and changing everything. My trouble is that I really, really need to feel like I'm working with others and can speak to other alcoholics about our shared issues - that is crucial."
You have done this before so know already what works for you. Its just a matter of a getting the ball headed in the right direction. Sort of a snowball effect.
A lot of people on SR have had great success with AA although I personally I have no experience with any of the official groups. I did it with a combination of the things you mentioned - basically a complete 180 in my thinking and behavior. Everything has improved. You have to do what works for you. There is more than one way to skin a cat so dont let others force you into 1 path.
If you want to help other alcoholics just come on here everyday. Everyday you have someone post in the newcomers board, "hi iam new here", or "need help!" etc. Thats what i have been doing. Trying to pass along some hope, inspiration and advice in a time that is often so dark and hopeless for people. Letting them know its not impossible and that others are there for them. Its rewarding in its own sense. Good luck!
This is very important and i am glad you included this in your post
"For me, based on my previous experience, this needs to include meditation and exercise, plus meeting new people, avoiding former drinking buddies/haunts, finding new ways to relieve stress and changing everything. My trouble is that I really, really need to feel like I'm working with others and can speak to other alcoholics about our shared issues - that is crucial."
You have done this before so know already what works for you. Its just a matter of a getting the ball headed in the right direction. Sort of a snowball effect.
A lot of people on SR have had great success with AA although I personally I have no experience with any of the official groups. I did it with a combination of the things you mentioned - basically a complete 180 in my thinking and behavior. Everything has improved. You have to do what works for you. There is more than one way to skin a cat so dont let others force you into 1 path.
If you want to help other alcoholics just come on here everyday. Everyday you have someone post in the newcomers board, "hi iam new here", or "need help!" etc. Thats what i have been doing. Trying to pass along some hope, inspiration and advice in a time that is often so dark and hopeless for people. Letting them know its not impossible and that others are there for them. Its rewarding in its own sense. Good luck!
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Hi VCV, welcome 
Yeah, it's a tedious merry- go- round, isn't it ?
You' ll find a lot of alcoholics to talk to round here....this has been my main support , I do go to AA as well, but each to their own.
Glad you found us !
Yeah, it's a tedious merry- go- round, isn't it ?
You' ll find a lot of alcoholics to talk to round here....this has been my main support , I do go to AA as well, but each to their own.
Glad you found us !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I learned early on that for the many
many excuses I had for drinking, like,
a holiday, a good day, a bad day, resentments,
someone pizzed me off, someone cut me off
in line or highway, family gatherings,
promotion at work, self loathing, self
centeredness, its my birthday, weddings,
barbques.......I could on to infinity for
reason I drank.
For ALL those reason, I had to learn
to replace them with reasons to go
to AA. To incoperate this recovery
program into my everyday life.
I am in AA because 24 yrs ago family
intervened on me sending me to a
rehabilitation facitlity to help me because
I was ready to sleep forever. It was there
that I was taught about my addiction to
alcohol and its affects on my mind and
body. It was there I was taught a program
of recovery that I could incorporate in my
everyday life a day at a time once I returned
home after a 28 day stay.
I chose to stick to this program because
I had no choice. It was that or id be sent
away from my family for a longer amount
of time and I absolutely did not want to.
Soooo, I did whatever I needed to do,
not matter if I understood it or not. All
I needed to do was suit up, show up
with an openmind, willingness, and listen,
learn, absorb and then apply what I was
learning in my everyday life.
I didn't learn everything over night. Im
in my 24th yr. of sobriety and I come here
to continue to learn new, exciting ways
to enjoy life keeping alcohol at bay.
Today, its not so much about not drinking
anymore, but rather dealing with people,
places and things on lifes terms. Everyday
life changes and I have had to learn how
to face them without reaching for a poison
to either numb it or deal with it.
I remain close to what works for me.
A program of recovery is what allows
me to live a healthy, happy, honest
life to the best of my ability and for
that I am truly grateful.
Take what I need and leave the rest.
Listen, Learn, Absorb and Apply
many excuses I had for drinking, like,
a holiday, a good day, a bad day, resentments,
someone pizzed me off, someone cut me off
in line or highway, family gatherings,
promotion at work, self loathing, self
centeredness, its my birthday, weddings,
barbques.......I could on to infinity for
reason I drank.
For ALL those reason, I had to learn
to replace them with reasons to go
to AA. To incoperate this recovery
program into my everyday life.
I am in AA because 24 yrs ago family
intervened on me sending me to a
rehabilitation facitlity to help me because
I was ready to sleep forever. It was there
that I was taught about my addiction to
alcohol and its affects on my mind and
body. It was there I was taught a program
of recovery that I could incorporate in my
everyday life a day at a time once I returned
home after a 28 day stay.
I chose to stick to this program because
I had no choice. It was that or id be sent
away from my family for a longer amount
of time and I absolutely did not want to.
Soooo, I did whatever I needed to do,
not matter if I understood it or not. All
I needed to do was suit up, show up
with an openmind, willingness, and listen,
learn, absorb and then apply what I was
learning in my everyday life.
I didn't learn everything over night. Im
in my 24th yr. of sobriety and I come here
to continue to learn new, exciting ways
to enjoy life keeping alcohol at bay.
Today, its not so much about not drinking
anymore, but rather dealing with people,
places and things on lifes terms. Everyday
life changes and I have had to learn how
to face them without reaching for a poison
to either numb it or deal with it.
I remain close to what works for me.
A program of recovery is what allows
me to live a healthy, happy, honest
life to the best of my ability and for
that I am truly grateful.
Take what I need and leave the rest.
Listen, Learn, Absorb and Apply
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