I failed
 

Setting her with tears rolling down my face. I drank the over the last two days. I started on Thanksgiving. I saw everyone with wine and I didn't even think I just gave in. Then we went to a concert yesterday and I drank. I feel awful and wish I had never gave in. Really sucks. I'm ready to start again. 89 days and now back to day 1. Sorry guys.

Alynn;
No worries it happened it over you cant change it. Today you can control so what will you do I ask? Will you drink again today? Will you take control of today and not drink? The choice is yours......I am confident of what you will choose.
Greg

Aw! Don't be sorry! Just pick up where you left off, at least it was only 2 days and not two years of drinking.
Xoxo on day 1 again. I hate day 1

I hear you. I'm an alcoholic and realizing that I would drink again despite all of the consequences, despite all of my own efforts, was the good bottom after my bad bottom.

I didn't have a choice in the matter. After 40 years of drinking and smoking pot and living on benzos, I knew that despite my best efforts, I would drink and use again.

That realization brought me to finally surrender, and in some inexplicable way, I found some freedom in it. It's way to paradoxical for me to explain, but just giving up the fight somehow allowed me to tap into a power that could do what I couldn't.

Hey Alynn- Sorry to hear about your slip. There's no reason that you can't continue though. Just be mindful of what happened this last time, and perhaps try to avoid whatever it was that put you in that position.


Lusher

I have failed about one hundred times and am also back to day one.
Atleast you know you can make 89 days sober- that's really good. Far better than me.

Dust yourself off and try again Alynn update your plan

89 days is 89 sober days and they are banked my friend

Acceptance is really key

Exellent on giving it another go you definatly can do this

Me too haha, I'm at 5 days and thrilled about it!!
89 is fantastic!!! Be proud of that, shrug this off and keep going, self loathing isn't going to solve anything <3

You didn't fail, you had a relapse. It happens. You drank and you shouldn't have, and should take steps not to in the future, but don't throw away all those days sober over a weak moment. Learn from it and look forward. This is why I don't get too hung up counting days. 89 says sober is great and a few weak moments doesn't undo that.

Pick yourself up Alynn and try again. 89 days is NOTHING to frown about! That's great and shows you got what it takes.

Every time I relapsed before I DIDNT THINK before picking up....just like you said above. I have learned I own the AV and with some determination AND will power you can shut him down. Also, it feels SOOO good when ya make it over the hump sober.

Jump back on today!!! YOU GOT THIS!

Hey Alynn- it's great you've jumped back into sobreity :=] I had a relapse a few weeks back and one of the big things I'm learning is to be kind to myself. I think it's really important.

You know, you did have those 89 days. So yeah, "officially" you're back on day one, but not on square one. You have the experience of 89 days now.

Maybe sobriety is progressive, just like alcoholism is a progressive disease. The more you do it, the more you gain the ability to stay sober.

So it's back to being sober. Just like you were. This is just a small setback.

I was just thinking- yep :=] Whether you have or haven't failed, you're now living a sober life interrupted by a short period of using. Surely that's leaps and bounds ahead of what it was before? (I'm assuming it was the opposite.)

Thanks guys! I really appreciate your support. I do feel like I've learned from it and even more determined to stay away. What a fickle things alcohol is. Full of lies that's for sure.

I should have just came here first. I didn't log on much this week. Going to make sure I stay close SR.

I couldn't be around alcohol either and I learned the hard way as you have.

I'm glad you've come back and posted about this.

You haven't failed. Failing would be not trying again. Forgive yourself and, start again.

[QUOTE=twentyfive;5046777]You know, you did have those 89 days. So yeah, "officially" you're back on day one, but not on square one. You have the experience of 89 days now.

I like what twenty-five says here! You have 89 days of sobriety, and that is a major accomplishment. You can do it!

Most of us failed before. It sucks but use it as a learning tool, that's what I did and I feel stronger today.
Start over again and this time don't let situations get in the way.

I'm over three years sober- previously I have "failed" at 6 weeks and six months- have another go don't judge thinks- focus on results and what you need to do to get them

In truth my drinking after six months was a planned relapse- "just one night" LOL