Thatdeliveryguy

I got a chance to talk to my uncle today. He asked me, " What's wrong with you". " Why do you do these things to the family" . " Get a life" he says.

I sat in quiet contemplation, I was befuddled by his questions. I know I am an addict, I know I have issues, I know I am no saint. However, every bone in my body wanted to tell him **** off! Not a damn thing is wrong with me. I don't anyone's decisions, I was born to be who I am good or bad.

I can't possible be held for anyone but me. It saddens me that someone would lay so much on me and start the blame game. Sure I have problems with alcohol and I am not always stable, but thats me not them. My decisions I make good or bad aren't theirs. I have no control over them or what they think, I kept thinking that to myself

So whats wrong with me, I say not a damn thing! The problem doesn't lie with me or my behavior or addictions, it lies with him and anyone else that chooses to put blame on anyone.

So my two cents for today, we are who we were meant today. There is nothing wrong with us, and the problem lies with them not us. Don't let anyone dictate or define your life, only you can. So if confronted with the question, " What the hell is wrong with you" Tell them TDG told you to say " Not a damn thing" kick rocks live in your hell I can only be me. I am glad I am me, and nobody can ever take anything from me. I am not the sum total of my addictions or mental issues, there is so much more to me than those things.

My morning of blowing steam and accepting though flawed in some ways, I am me and I can live with that, too bad others can't except that.

Jsbodhi

I understand where you're coming from! We are who we are, we just have to be the best of who we can be and work hard at that.
Try to remember a lot of us have caused a lot of pain, they kinda have a right to be angry with us.

Carlotta

Newsflash Jeremy: It's not all about you.
Your addiction hurts and affects other people (see the Friends and Family members section of this forum if you don't believe me).

OklaBH

Please discuss this when you start your therapy. Everyone is free to do what they want ... To themselves. When our addiction affects other people it's not fair. I know you are in a fragile place right now. Please please don't let your uncles comments set you back.

Chillly

Sounds exactly like something an addict would say to justify their actions.

KissMyTiara

You're pointing fingers at others. You need to be looking at yourself.

Anna

Jeremy, it's important to remember you don't live in a vacuum.

You do have a right to your feelings and so does your uncle. Maybe it would be best to detach from him for awhile so hopefully you can both heal.

Eshgham

Sounds like your uncle didn't have much tact when he said those things to you.

And, in a philosophical sense I agree with you. We are who we are, and the choices we make stretch back in a long chain of cause/effect that due to our biology and environment were probably always going to be.

But, in a practical, day to day sense we should strive to better ourselves for no other reason then that it's extremely rewarding. Don't get stuck in the mud. There is a higher version of yourself that you can actualize, even if you're fine with how you are now.

AnvilheadII

There is nothing wrong with us, and the problem lies with them not us.

um no.....what we do DOES have an impact on others, especially those close to us. we do not live on islands....and we are responsible for our choices, good and bad. we've all left a lot of wreckage in our lives, and we have to own that. we've hurt others, or scared the hell out of them with our antics.

recovery STARTS and ENDS with US. not them.

Soberpotamus

It sounds like he's either uninformed about your diagnosis or he is an idiot. You're a schizophrenic alcoholic/addict. If he interprets your actions and decisions as something you've "done to the family" and if he doesn't realize that a diagnosis of schizophrenia is gravely serious, then he might need to educate himself about your situation, or keep his mouth shut.

I don't have a great track record with understanding and sympathetic family members, and so my advice might be crass... but I'd tell him to shove it, and I'd tune him out.

That said, you probably don't need to focus on what family members are saying to you if this is the kind of support you're receiving.

Your #1 goal right now needs to be inpatient next week if at all possible. Screw family members who don't get the bigger picture. In his own way, he is probably thinking he's helping you in some way.

ScottFromWI

Focus on your goals at hand TDG, and remember that you can call the hospital at any time should you need it. We hurt others with our actions as addicts whether we intend to or not....and our addictions and sickness does not excuse them. Your uncle May be out of line but at this point in time you need to simply disengage. Nothing good can come from arguing or holding a grudge. Take care of you and your immediate goal of getting into treatment.'

Nuudawn

Yes...I'm with Anna and Scott. It's soooooo important to realize the we are the ones having the inner combustion reaction with what someone else says....and THAT needs to be our greatest concern. We had to address that...soothe ourselves..figure out how we can lessen the impact of what others says so that we don't blow a gasket and harm ourselves or others...

I feel like I've been really thin skinned for...oh...I dunno...ever. Somehow I have to deflect the comments of others so it doesn't cause me such internal grief and obsessing on it...energy sucking nonsense.

And as others have said..he has his stuff..his reasons for saying what he's say..and that's his right. We all have the right to be who we are...but hopefully, we do as little harm to others in the process as possible.

Hawks

Who makes the decisions in your life?

Others behavior is often an influence, but ultimately you call the shots.

You have an enormous 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle to put together from here on in and getting into rehab is just putting down the first handful of pieces.

It's your puzzle to complete mate.

All the best with your decisions and actions and sobriety journey / puzzle.

Thatdeliveryguy

Wow, again I glad I have these forums. I am trying to do exactly what I didn't want my uncle to do..... Slaps self in head, focus on recovery Jeremy.

LBrain

take a deep breath. breathe.
Calm yourself, stay on track and don't lose sight of your mission.
I used to get pissed off at the people I pissed off too.

trachemys

Very, very well done.

Jsbodhi

I need people to give me a dose of reality from time to time too

Marcher13

Jeremy like Scott I'd urge you to focus on your goals. A couple of times you've lost focus on recovery after it seemed that you had made a commitment to the future, please don't let this happen now. It doesn't matter right now what your uncle said or how you feel about it -- let it go for now and focus on your recovery.

MythOfSisyphus

Yeah, just let it go, TDG. You screwed up in the past, and I can understand why your family might harbor resentment, but it's in the past. Do what you need to do today. Don't let anyone else's resentments interfere with doing what you need to do. You don't have to be that guy anymore!

tomsteve

Wow, comin from someone who was in a psych ward recently saying there's not a damn thing wrong with him....wow.
Your problems DO lie in your behavior, addictions, AND thinking.
V
But I wish you the best in getting the rest of the world to bow down to you.

And you ave left a trail of wreckage while being selfishly wrapped up in addiction- hurt more people along your path that you realize.