Aloha! First timer here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Hawaii windward side
Posts: 4
Aloha! First timer here
First time posting here.
In recovery since "94. Main issue--codependency. As per the new definition of it as powerless over people, places or things.
Lately feeling powerless over avoidance.
I can creatively, craftily avoid just about anything.
I'm a word nerd and so I looked up avoidance and some of the definition is to empty out, make legally vacant. This definition is making me antsy. So I look up my HP's mission statement word abundance, to be full to overflowing with life. Then I think about codependence. They're all dances. A-void-ace. Sounds like an empty dance, the dance I do when I want to fill time with "a good reason" to not change the things I can. To continue to be a chicken spit coward and hide in the emptiness of continued addiction to my own fear, anxiety and shame spiral.
I'm having a hard time believing my HP right now for the courage to change the things I can. The cowardice is comfortable, I know it well. Courage? What language is that? I feel like it's a whole 'nother land speaking a language I don't understand.
I was away from recovery for a few years. Just getting back to it. Glad to be here.
Thank You,
Grace
In recovery since "94. Main issue--codependency. As per the new definition of it as powerless over people, places or things.
Lately feeling powerless over avoidance.
I can creatively, craftily avoid just about anything.
I'm a word nerd and so I looked up avoidance and some of the definition is to empty out, make legally vacant. This definition is making me antsy. So I look up my HP's mission statement word abundance, to be full to overflowing with life. Then I think about codependence. They're all dances. A-void-ace. Sounds like an empty dance, the dance I do when I want to fill time with "a good reason" to not change the things I can. To continue to be a chicken spit coward and hide in the emptiness of continued addiction to my own fear, anxiety and shame spiral.
I'm having a hard time believing my HP right now for the courage to change the things I can. The cowardice is comfortable, I know it well. Courage? What language is that? I feel like it's a whole 'nother land speaking a language I don't understand.
I was away from recovery for a few years. Just getting back to it. Glad to be here.
Thank You,
Grace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Hawaii windward side
Posts: 4
Thank You for being here
Thanks for the warm welcome. It made the difference of me staying in bed or getting on with my day. Is that codependence or just showing up? Forget about it. I'm here.
I'm a visually challanged artist and writer. I took the plates off my van yesterday and turned them over to the DMV. I am no longer legal or safe to drive. I last drove in May 2011. So I have been kinda isolating.
I went to the only CoDA groups on the island (2) and I took a break from them this week. There are some issues going on there that are so out of control and emeshed it wasn't such a healthy place to be for me at this time.
I also volunteer at the local Hospital and lead a really basic CoDA group there in Behavioral Health. I had been doing a group there for a few years but about 10 years ago the Hosp was sold and they "restructured". I was surprised the staff remembered me. I get way more out of that group of first timers than the other groups. I guess that's to be expected.
Any way . . .
Is there a guided tour areound this site?
Gratefully,
Grace
I'm a visually challanged artist and writer. I took the plates off my van yesterday and turned them over to the DMV. I am no longer legal or safe to drive. I last drove in May 2011. So I have been kinda isolating.
I went to the only CoDA groups on the island (2) and I took a break from them this week. There are some issues going on there that are so out of control and emeshed it wasn't such a healthy place to be for me at this time.
I also volunteer at the local Hospital and lead a really basic CoDA group there in Behavioral Health. I had been doing a group there for a few years but about 10 years ago the Hosp was sold and they "restructured". I was surprised the staff remembered me. I get way more out of that group of first timers than the other groups. I guess that's to be expected.
Any way . . .
Is there a guided tour areound this site?
Gratefully,
Grace
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