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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 128
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To all of you,
I am fully accountable so this is not a letter about self pity. To stay sober today, I need to write.
It is taking me a mountain-full of courage to write to you today.
After my writing and newspaper career, I moved into to healthcare operations and then I believed that my soul was my career. Wow, I could perform and drink at night and get up and do it all over again.
Then, I lost it on the job! PTSD
Of course I used alcohol and didn't have the sanity to withstand the bullying of corporate life. I am grieving.
Now, I am in my mother's house, next to her bedroom, knowing that so many years ago she sexually abused me as well as emotionally, mentally and physically. My father ignored it all. When I came home after forty-two years, I realized that my brother and sister had ruined the family business and stolen all of my parents' money. I have forgiven them and I have forgiven my mother.
I had to move back to the hometown where I was raped and bullied all of my life. Now I am trying to find a way to use all of the skills I have to help others.
I have a beagle that I adopted and I know that I must give him up to move on. I don't know how to find a home for him. I have a job soon to be started but there is no one here to take care of him. He is the last thing I have except hope for a new life.
The lessons in humility are that I was an executive and will now be working in a grocery store deli. I am on social security and can work more. I am willing to volunteer........anything to get out of the hell-hole and get busy and serving people.
I pray for all of you that are suffering from this disease, like I am. I have had a blessed life and career.
I know there is a new life ahead if I am sober. I got sober. Then I drank.
I did what it took. When my dad died, mom got breast cancer and I lost my job, I drank after several years of sobriety.
I am beginning again.
I am tired today from de-toxing.
I hope that I have not been appropriate on this site. I just need to tell all of you that I am GRIEVING.
I am fully accountable so this is not a letter about self pity. To stay sober today, I need to write.
It is taking me a mountain-full of courage to write to you today.
After my writing and newspaper career, I moved into to healthcare operations and then I believed that my soul was my career. Wow, I could perform and drink at night and get up and do it all over again.
Then, I lost it on the job! PTSD
Of course I used alcohol and didn't have the sanity to withstand the bullying of corporate life. I am grieving.
Now, I am in my mother's house, next to her bedroom, knowing that so many years ago she sexually abused me as well as emotionally, mentally and physically. My father ignored it all. When I came home after forty-two years, I realized that my brother and sister had ruined the family business and stolen all of my parents' money. I have forgiven them and I have forgiven my mother.
I had to move back to the hometown where I was raped and bullied all of my life. Now I am trying to find a way to use all of the skills I have to help others.
I have a beagle that I adopted and I know that I must give him up to move on. I don't know how to find a home for him. I have a job soon to be started but there is no one here to take care of him. He is the last thing I have except hope for a new life.
The lessons in humility are that I was an executive and will now be working in a grocery store deli. I am on social security and can work more. I am willing to volunteer........anything to get out of the hell-hole and get busy and serving people.
I pray for all of you that are suffering from this disease, like I am. I have had a blessed life and career.
I know there is a new life ahead if I am sober. I got sober. Then I drank.
I did what it took. When my dad died, mom got breast cancer and I lost my job, I drank after several years of sobriety.
I am beginning again.
I am tired today from de-toxing.
I hope that I have not been appropriate on this site. I just need to tell all of you that I am GRIEVING.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Grieving is perfectly normal after all you have been trough.
Glad you are posting, it makes a world of difference to share what's heavy on our hearts.
About your Beagle, can you try to post on a free internet advertisement site? you may find someone to take him.
Glad you are posting, it makes a world of difference to share what's heavy on our hearts.
About your Beagle, can you try to post on a free internet advertisement site? you may find someone to take him.
Recognising my AV
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
With everything else Beach, you're still caring about your dog......
I think that shows how much strength and courage you have within you.
I hope you can keep it with you whenever you need it - and post away - i found nothing inappropriate there mate.
I'm afraid I can't help with practicalities as I'm not in America but in England there are some people who take dogs in on a foster basis. Don't know if that would be a way to get him cared for until if and when you can take him back?
Take care mate and I hope that your writing has helped you stay sober
I think that shows how much strength and courage you have within you.
I hope you can keep it with you whenever you need it - and post away - i found nothing inappropriate there mate.
I'm afraid I can't help with practicalities as I'm not in America but in England there are some people who take dogs in on a foster basis. Don't know if that would be a way to get him cared for until if and when you can take him back?
Take care mate and I hope that your writing has helped you stay sober
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
i found this Kansas City Pet Project in KCMO What to do if you need to give up your pet • Kansas City Pet Project in KCMO
i hope this helps
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
I'm sorry for all you've had to deal with but I believe even the darkest pasts can be laid to rest and new soil turned
I'm sorry about your dog too but there's been some great suggestions already
Congrats on your new start beach - I'm really hoping you can move into your own place before too long
D
I'm sorry about your dog too but there's been some great suggestions already
Congrats on your new start beach - I'm really hoping you can move into your own place before too long
D
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
I am so sorry to hear about all you have been and are going through. You seem to have a good attitude though, so I am sure you will be able to turn things around in your favor.
As for your beloved Beagle, I suggest finding a Beagle Rescue group. There are several in Kansas. That way, you will be sure that he will find the very best furrever home. (((HUGS)))
As for your beloved Beagle, I suggest finding a Beagle Rescue group. There are several in Kansas. That way, you will be sure that he will find the very best furrever home. (((HUGS)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 128
Thank you!
I am so grateful to all of you. I am going to take your suggestions about my beloved beagle whose name is Sammy Darling!
Thank you for your support and for not criticizing me or shaming me.
I will give back as much as possible on this site.
Tomorrow I am going to an AA meeting at 10 am in a town 12 miles from here.
I love being connected to people all over the world and I wish I could afford to fly all of us to the UK or Australia...or even to the many places I have lived...NH, TX, MN, NC and now KS. I have been to the UK and Australia and Canada.
Isn't it so wonderful to have a circle of friends that understand and can help?
Thank you for your support and for not criticizing me or shaming me.
I will give back as much as possible on this site.
Tomorrow I am going to an AA meeting at 10 am in a town 12 miles from here.
I love being connected to people all over the world and I wish I could afford to fly all of us to the UK or Australia...or even to the many places I have lived...NH, TX, MN, NC and now KS. I have been to the UK and Australia and Canada.
Isn't it so wonderful to have a circle of friends that understand and can help?
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