Lance40

My sponsor told me that a common trait in alcoholics is that we can fixate on something and get like a dog on a bone, so I'm full in that right now about something that happened.

About a week ago I got sick with something in my head and sinuses. It was like a flu/cold thing mostly in my head with a lot of sinus pain and pressure with my nose completely stuffed up. On Monday night it got so bad that I had to take something, but the only night-time medicine I could find in the medicine cabinet at home was Nyquil. I took 1 measured dose. When I took the medicine, it felt very much like taking a shot - the warm, burning sensation and the best way to describe it is that it "lit up" a part of my brain. I knew immediately I could never do that again.

Within half an hour my sinus pain and stuffiness was gone and I was able to sleep. That was the only night since I've been sober that I had dreams about drinking, and although I don't remember what they were it was not a pleasant feeling. I seem to remember thinking "Oh no - you got drunk and are hung over". The next morning when got up I felt slow and gross.

I didn't think anything more of it until just last night it took hold of me, and I couldn't let it go. I started to search the web about alcoholics and Nyquil and got more and more alarmed until I've worked myself into a state where I wonder if I've had a relapse and need to start counting days all over again.

I'm having trouble identifying what the root cause of my distress. Where I'm at right now is this idea that maybe now that I'm hooked up with AA that I have to be perfect, and that maybe taking any form of alcohol for any reason is a breach of the integrity of the program.

Sorry for rambling, but I feel just a little better now that I've shared and hope I can get some support to put this into perspective.

FreeOwl

Taking a medication on occasion for legitimate health reasons to me is not a failure in recovery. That said; everyone is different and I know that some of us do not or cannot allow ANY drug or alcohol to be used in recovery.

Mikie9

Hey Lance, the way I see it is you didn't relapse, you took medicine. Now, you did recognize that it had an effect on you and so you won't be using that medicine again. Case closed.

If that is what is bothering you, my vote is to let it go. Nothing to see here.

If what is bothering you is that it sparked a strong desire to drink, focus on that and do what you need to do to get passed it.

I have only been to two AA meetings and from what I have gathered so far, perfection is the last thing that is required. If you have a sponsor, or just a friend there it might be a good idea to get in contact with them, and express to them these feelings.

You can get through this hyper focus you are in, no matter the cause.

Anna

No one is perfect.

You had a nasty cold and took some medication for it. It turned out to be learning experience for you. That's all.

You're doing great.

LexieCat

You didn't have a slip but you learned not to use NyQuil. I think you should talk to your sponsor and then let it go.

Congrats on your sober time!

Jsbodhi

I'm the worst at things like this. I convince myself or worry about of the ridiculous things.
Definitely not a relapse I'd say!

SDH73

Nyquil nighttime medicine can contain doxylamine succinate which is a common sleeping pill ingredient. That could explain the slow and gross feeling. The alcohol content is pretty small. Not a relapse, IMO.

Soberwolf

Your doing good Lance

Mark1014

Lance, I had a similar experience with....of all things.....vanilla extract. I'm not sophisticated on cooking stuff and tasted something my wife was preparing with lots of vanilla extract in it. I immediately noticed that there was a familiar 'edge' to it. Well, it seems that there's alcohol in vanilla extract. I did not taste anymore. I did not get a buzz. I didn't taste it to change my frame of mind. Therefore I let it go...lesson learned. I wish you the best.

gypsytears

Progress not perfection is what I've heard from AA'ers. Medication is necessary sometimes. Since NyQuil doesn't agree with you my advice is just don't take it again. Try DayQuil or something else instead . Not a relapse IMO.

Lance40

I'm very grateful for all the responses and support. It's certainly taken away the panicky edge and given me a clearer head on how to move forward. When I meet with my sponsor next Monday there are several things we can talk about. I'd like to be thorough in going through the whole experience, talk about ways that I can be careful up front to help avoid situations that may cause upset like this afterwards, talk through that few seconds "lighting up" that I felt when I swallowed the Nyquil, and it also looks like it will be good to discuss some of these ideas of perfection I have around AA and how I can work through those without compromising sobriety.

Again thank you to all - I'm so grateful for SR support.

tomsteve

Yes, the perfection thing isn't possible. The 10th step in plain English is accept I'm human and will make mistakes. Fix em promptly.
Glad Yer asking about this and seeing this, but ya may want to be a lil easier on yourself and practice patience. Ya didn't get here overnight.

Dee74

Well, one of us is wrong LOL

I agree with the others lance - not a relapse...but now you know, I'd ditch the Nyquil - it's not surprising it threw you a little bit

D

LexieCat

Yeah, there are a few medications out there with healthy (as it were) doses of alcohol in them. Reading labels is the best idea.

MythOfSisyphus

I wouldn't consider it a relapse at all, but I understand your concerns. After 2 years sober I wound up with a terrible head cold and did the same things, took some off-brand Nyquil. Just the measured dose. But I felt a little "weird"- not buzzed, couldn't feel the effects per se, just felt "off". It had been so long since I'd taken the stuff that it didn't occur to me that it had alcohol. The reason I checked is that I didn't sleep well at all and felt kind of blah the next day. Once I looked at the label I chucked it out and switched to fizzy Alka Seltzer cold stuff. Turns out it works better anyway.

Don't freak out over it, but do get rid of the stuff. The small dose wouldn't necessarily affect most people but those of us with a problem have to be extra careful.

Do try the Alka Seltzer! Alcohol-free and very effective, at least for me.