daisy1

I'm on day 4, or I was

Me and partner had a few words this morning - I've been feeding him and supporting him for months, and I said bluntly that things have to change. It wasn't a major row, just a tiff and I stomped off to feed my horse.

Anyway literally 30 minutes later I heard on the local radio he had won two thousand pounds in a christmas competition - got home, he has ****** off and I haven't heard from him since. I feel sick :-(

Needless to say I have had two glasses of wine, and yes, it has made the hurt feel better, for now.

Tamerua

It is hard at first. Journaling helps to get the feelings out, calling and venting, coming here.

Why not dump whatever you have left and start this up again?

IOAA2

Hi.
I’m an admitted hard liner and was told in the beginning of my sober journey a fact by the old time hard liners “We don’t drink even if our ar$$se fall off, THEN BE GRATEFUL.” Just as true today as then.

BE WELL

sprout50

That quick fix really doesn't make things better. It's a mirage. You still have the same problem.

I cope by slowing down and reminding myself that whatever the problem is, is only a moment in time and I can deal with it. I also remind myself that I cannot control others and just have to accept somethings or make some changes.

Is supporting your boyfriend a major issue for you? If he doesn't change, you can't change him. Do you think instead of using the two thousand pounds to contribute to the household, he is just spending away on what he wants or getting his own place to live?

If the issue is making you drink, it might be more than just a little tiff. Either way, drinking will only make it worse. Instead of drinking, feel free to vent here. We can't fix things for you but we are here to support you through this!

daisy1

I wish I had read your comments before I bought wine. Gonna go away and sober up and come back, thank you so much xxxx

sprout50

Daisy, someone is always here to help before you take that first sip. Just throw out an SOS when you need us.

Soberwolf

Daisy alcohol doesnt solve anything it doesnt make the hurt better your telling yourself that

there is no excuse for drinking if you didnt want to you wouldnt

ppl who drink are choosing to drink

i hope you come back from this daisy and see that alcohol doesnt desrve to OWN you like this

Lorax1981

I went a bit crazy in the beginning, it's normal. Big life decisions are not good to make in early recovery (at least not for me). Living with a moocher, however, may not be good either. Our AV (addict voice) likes it though because it figures "when they fight I can weasel in and get what I want." So you have to be a bit selfish in early days. But also know that part of you is gonna lash out so that it has an excuse to medicate. Get back at it and give it another go!
-Ted

OklaBH

Hello! If you want a nasty " row " continue drinking. I promise you'll have a bad one. You will probably continue supporting the boyfriend too.

I bet you want neither. I suggest dumping out the wine my friend.

Anna

I'm sure you know that the drinking is a quick fix that won't hold in the long run.

What I do is to get out and walk which almost always works. Music, chocolate, ice-cream, a good book - all those things help.

The thing is, each time you get through one of those difficult moments, it's a bit easier the next time.