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Back but still determined!

Old 11-26-2014, 11:32 AM
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Back but still determined!

Hi y'all!

I was on here for a short time in the past. I have been sober for 9 months, 18 months, 6 months and most recently 2 months. This past weekend I started again but am determined to kick this habit. I was actually doing very well but I ran out of my medication (bipolar) while my dr. was out of town and I have been dealing with an inordinate about of family problems (my parents are a huge trigger for me). I actually went to counseling on Friday for fear of starting back up and somehow he asked me how I used to cope with family stress and my answer was drinking (fail).

But I'm back on my meds, as of Monday, and am super determined to quit again. I have worked too hard to get to where I am in my life, job, and relationship (SO has been through this entire crazy ride and loves me so much. He's the best!) and everything is so much better for me when I'm sober.. I just need better coping skills. I'm going to try and log in more frequently again!

I'm trying meditation now but does anyone have any tips for anyone like me? I'm in my late 20s and have been bing drinking on and off since 18. I seem to do well for long periods without cravings then once something happens I binge.

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Old 11-26-2014, 11:36 AM
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Hi there MsSola,

Welcome back :=] I'm pleased you're here.
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Old 11-26-2014, 12:25 PM
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Hi MsSola

you say you have no cravings for long periods but then once something happens you binge ?

how are you getting through long periods then breaking you must have got through hard days ?

do you ever reach out ? is it a build up premeditated perhaps who knows

im glad your here seeking help
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Old 11-26-2014, 12:42 PM
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Hiya! Thanks for the response guys.

When I get stressed or have hard days, I typically paint, watch tv or exercise. However, when things start to build up, I don't reach for those outlets, I just have a lot of anxiety which feels debilitating at times.

I have tried AA and sober recovery in the past but never continued for one reason or another. I have started to feel like a burden to some ppl around me as they don't want to talk about sobriety or they don't really care (ie- "you're still not drinking?") but I have at least 1 person to talk to, I just don't want to wear him down. I haven't talked about it much in counseling, but will start bringing it up and asking for resources.

I can go weeks without craving, be around others who are drinking and not drink etc but once I feel stressed or very out of control I can't rationalize and other than my SO, I don't feel like I can call anyone during those times so I drink excessively and that leads to other dangerous behaviors. I usually ask that he stay away, cancel all my plans and drink and cry at home alone (I did this on Friday)..it's very deliberate.

I'm more ashamed of myself because I've had to start over so many times and it's usually for small stupid things. I just really want help and stop forever because I'm such a better person when I'm sober.
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Old 11-26-2014, 12:59 PM
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I also drank tea..lots of it. I realized that I'm out so I prob should get some more!
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Old 11-26-2014, 01:02 PM
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Well the great news is you have found us where we completly understand what its like

your going to love it here welcome aboard

I love tea

never be ashamed of trying
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Old 11-26-2014, 01:02 PM
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Hi ,MsSola, good to meet you

Perhaps you could keep a journal of your feelings and see what's happening in your life and what kind of thoughts you have just before your binges ?

Sorry I can't be of more help, but glad you are with us, it will be another outlet for you.
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Old 11-26-2014, 01:15 PM
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We do understand and that's the reason a lot of us come here. I hope you use SR as an outlet at any time, but particularly when you are stressed. If you can recognize when the tension is building, maybe you could take action and prevent a relapse.
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Old 11-26-2014, 01:15 PM
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We do understand and that's the reason a lot of us come here. I hope you use SR as an outlet at any time, but particularly when you are stressed. If you can recognize when the tension is building, maybe you could take action and prevent a relapse.
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Old 11-26-2014, 03:19 PM
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Thanks for the tips! I'm happy to be back and I will plan to use this as more of an outlet! JanieJ, thank you for the suggestion about the journal! I love writing but often forget to journal, I'll try it out!

I shouldn't say I don't have cravings, I do. I believe that my stubborness if one of my worst and best friends. When I'm committed and don't want to relapse, I am stubborn about even thinking about alcohol. However, when I'm in bad place, I'm also stubborn about changing my outlook so I'm more apt to give in. I'm just sad that I keep sacrificing these breakthroughs I have (18, 12 3 months etc is sooooo long compared to when I would drink almost everyday!) because I just don't care anymore or because it gets too hard.
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Old 11-26-2014, 03:34 PM
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oh man!!! Im sorry you were having a tough time! Start posting here more! HUGS
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