The queen of self-sabotage
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
AF, that was my title for a long time too. 
I sabotaged myself when I was doing well (in anything) but especially with stopping drinking. After 3 days of sobriety I would realize that I was succeeding and that scared me a lot. I had no idea where that would take me. On the other hand, failure felt very familiar. It's such a horrible cycle. I had to believe in my soul that I deserved a good life. You do, too.
I sabotaged myself when I was doing well (in anything) but especially with stopping drinking. After 3 days of sobriety I would realize that I was succeeding and that scared me a lot. I had no idea where that would take me. On the other hand, failure felt very familiar. It's such a horrible cycle. I had to believe in my soul that I deserved a good life. You do, too.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I think self sabotage is a form of negative thinking called Catastrophising, which is overestimating the chances of disaster. Expecting something unbearable or intolerable to happen.
You expect to fail.
So you do.
You expect to fail.
So you do.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hmm...I would liken my issues with this to ya..somewhere within the spectrum of poor impulse control, a need for instant gratification and an underdeveloped resiliency for tolerating emotions...
I do believe this can be changed though.
I do believe this can be changed though.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by Nuudawn 
Hmm...I would liken my issues with this to ya..somewhere within the spectrum of poor impulse control, a need for instant gratification and an underdeveloped resiliency for tolerating emotions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Parkman OH
Posts: 114
You know ArtFriend, you have half answered your own question, if you don't pull that out of context, it will show you that it is about giving it up to God. Basically a self will run riot without God's guidance
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
People have had the same old troubles since recorded history began.
And before no doubt.
Sometimes wise people come to earth to try to enlighten us.
It normally doesn't end well for them.
One such character is the central business of the new testament
And before no doubt.
Sometimes wise people come to earth to try to enlighten us.
It normally doesn't end well for them.
One such character is the central business of the new testament
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
I've realized recently that ever since I was abused as a child full of guilt and shame that if I just punish myself ENOUGH I'll be absolved somehow of my sins and I'll be clean and be able to live in my own skin. And that I've never felt that I deserved happiness because I was such a bad person and have denied everything good, even happy thoughts. That is my hurdle I'm dealing with. I believe that is why I was attracted to men who beat me up and all of my self destruction and self sabotage. Because I felt I deserved to be punished. Knowing this only helps. Now it's a matter of putting it into action, forgiving myself and accepting a happy life.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
I've realized recently that ever since I was abused as a child full of guilt and shame that if I just punish myself ENOUGH I'll be absolved somehow of my sins and I'll be clean and be able to live in my own skin. And that I've never felt that I deserved happiness because I was such a bad person and have denied everything good, even happy thoughts. That is my hurdle I'm dealing with. I believe that is why I was attracted to men who beat me up and all of my self destruction and self sabotage. Because I felt I deserved to be punished. Knowing this only helps. Now it's a matter of putting it into action, forgiving myself and accepting a happy life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
For me, self-sabotage was kind of a way of taking control by giving up.
I would try and try to excel in life. I would try to make friends, talk to girls, make more money... and when that didn't work I would go F'it and give-up on giving a Sh!%. That was a way of taking control and by going off any status-quo BS radar, I felt like a societal rebel.
Becoming pretty misanthropic and just feeling that I should have been born in the future (assuming we evolve for the better). Probably getting somewhere near the realm of a god complex.. ughh i am embarrassed to admit that.
Truth is.. it didn't get me anywhere. It was a way of adjusting my perspective to fit my reality and it kept me alone, drinking and trudging along.
Becoming sober is so cool because I get to know the ins/outs of me instead of being victimized by me
I would try and try to excel in life. I would try to make friends, talk to girls, make more money... and when that didn't work I would go F'it and give-up on giving a Sh!%. That was a way of taking control and by going off any status-quo BS radar, I felt like a societal rebel.
Becoming pretty misanthropic and just feeling that I should have been born in the future (assuming we evolve for the better). Probably getting somewhere near the realm of a god complex.. ughh i am embarrassed to admit that.
Truth is.. it didn't get me anywhere. It was a way of adjusting my perspective to fit my reality and it kept me alone, drinking and trudging along.
Becoming sober is so cool because I get to know the ins/outs of me
instead of being victimized by me
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