Normal?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ireland
Posts: 17
Normal?
Hi there,
I have a quick question for anyone who can take the time to respond. I'm on day 3 of not drinking, this is nothing new to me (I'm a weekly drinking, not daily). I'm not worried about drinking today, tomorrow, next week or anytime soon at all. It doesn't seem to be the struggle to me that I read it is for some others here. I'm very thankful for that.
Recently I embarrassed myself so badly that I've decided to put the drink down. I was and am a binge drinker. I'm giving sobriety a chance so I can clear my head. What I'm a little concerned about is how to keep this mind frame when the guilt and shame is gone. I haven't ruined my life but I know if I keep bingeing the way I have done I will do this.
I'm not fooling myself into thinking it will be any different next time I drink but what I'm worried about is that in 3 months time the shame will be gone, my frame of mind will be different and I might fall back to thinking, this time will be different.
Right now I can see clearly that it will not be. But how do I keep this train of thought. Can ye give me any advise on books to read etc so that I can work on myself and gain the tools and thought process I need to remember how much I hate the drunk me?
I have a quick question for anyone who can take the time to respond. I'm on day 3 of not drinking, this is nothing new to me (I'm a weekly drinking, not daily). I'm not worried about drinking today, tomorrow, next week or anytime soon at all. It doesn't seem to be the struggle to me that I read it is for some others here. I'm very thankful for that.
Recently I embarrassed myself so badly that I've decided to put the drink down. I was and am a binge drinker. I'm giving sobriety a chance so I can clear my head. What I'm a little concerned about is how to keep this mind frame when the guilt and shame is gone. I haven't ruined my life but I know if I keep bingeing the way I have done I will do this.
I'm not fooling myself into thinking it will be any different next time I drink but what I'm worried about is that in 3 months time the shame will be gone, my frame of mind will be different and I might fall back to thinking, this time will be different.
Right now I can see clearly that it will not be. But how do I keep this train of thought. Can ye give me any advise on books to read etc so that I can work on myself and gain the tools and thought process I need to remember how much I hate the drunk me?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Make the decision to quit. For good. No more drinking. Then it won't matter how you feel in three months. You don't drink. Even if you forget the drunk you that you hate, even if you forget the shame. Doesn't matter. You have quit.
If you struggle to stay quit, and the addiction overwhelms you, you might need a solid program of recovery.
If you struggle to stay quit, and the addiction overwhelms you, you might need a solid program of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
You and I sound like the exact same type of drinker. It took me a while to reach the understanding that I can't drink, I have to stop.
I don't want to binge drink anymore, embarrass myself, spend money, be hungover etc.
What freaked me out is that I decided to " take a break from alcohol" for one month last year. I made it 9 days at the longest, average is 4-6 days, it's been a year of trying. I realized I'm an alcoholic, and I need recovery, not just " a break" if I don't stop, I foresee a future of severe alcoholism.
I also black out constantly now.
I don't want to binge drink anymore, embarrass myself, spend money, be hungover etc.
What freaked me out is that I decided to " take a break from alcohol" for one month last year. I made it 9 days at the longest, average is 4-6 days, it's been a year of trying. I realized I'm an alcoholic, and I need recovery, not just " a break" if I don't stop, I foresee a future of severe alcoholism.
I also black out constantly now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 301
Humbled, I could have written this thread 10 years ago. What I found is that despite all of my efforts, the weekly binges started lasting longer and became spaced closer apart. Pretty soon it was 4-5 days of drunkenness a week and 2-3 days of miserable withdrawal.
Taking a couple months off to "dry out" (which I have done before) did not hit the reset button for me...whenever I came back to it, the situation became even more dire than before.
This is why I now view recovery as a forever thing, rather than tricking myself into thinking that a few months of sobriety will heal me and I can start fresh...
Taking a couple months off to "dry out" (which I have done before) did not hit the reset button for me...whenever I came back to it, the situation became even more dire than before.
This is why I now view recovery as a forever thing, rather than tricking myself into thinking that a few months of sobriety will heal me and I can start fresh...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by SoberD 
Humbled, I could have written this thread 10 years ago. What I found is that despite all of my efforts, the weekly binges started lasting longer and became spaced closer apart. Pretty soon it was 4-5 days of drunkenness a week and 2-3 days of miserable withdrawal.
Taking a couple months off to "dry out" (which I have done before) did not hit the reset button for me...whenever I came back to it, the situation became even more dire than before.
This is why I now view recovery as a forever thing, rather than tricking myself into thinking that a few months of sobriety will heal me and I can start fresh...
Taking a couple months off to "dry out" (which I have done before) did not hit the reset button for me...whenever I came back to it, the situation became even more dire than before.
This is why I now view recovery as a forever thing, rather than tricking myself into thinking that a few months of sobriety will heal me and I can start fresh...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ireland
Posts: 17
Thanks very much Jsbodhi for your words.
I'm not giving myself a time frame at the moment. I have done this in the past and have returned right where I started. This is the first time I'm taking it very serious. I'm sure it can only get worse if i was to continue.
I know this will sound like madness to a lot of ye but I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic. I know I drink in all the wrong ways and that my life will be better without it. For that reason I'm choosing to stop. I don't know with councilling and therapy I could figure out why I drink but I know right now trying to moderate is not an option. I don't want to count the days. I want to enjoy being clear headed and sober and enjoying life in a different way. Hell even in 3 years, if someone could tell me I'm cured and can now drink like a 'normal' person I don't think I would. Thats not my goal. I want to learn how to be happy without it, to learn to be a better person, to be a better happier me!!!
I'm not sure if what I'm saying above is warning signs to any of ye that I'm not taking this serious, or that I have the wrong frame of mind already... I'm looking for advise is all I guess.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for sharing your experiences so openly and honestly.
I'm not giving myself a time frame at the moment. I have done this in the past and have returned right where I started. This is the first time I'm taking it very serious. I'm sure it can only get worse if i was to continue.
I know this will sound like madness to a lot of ye but I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic. I know I drink in all the wrong ways and that my life will be better without it. For that reason I'm choosing to stop. I don't know with councilling and therapy I could figure out why I drink but I know right now trying to moderate is not an option. I don't want to count the days. I want to enjoy being clear headed and sober and enjoying life in a different way. Hell even in 3 years, if someone could tell me I'm cured and can now drink like a 'normal' person I don't think I would. Thats not my goal. I want to learn how to be happy without it, to learn to be a better person, to be a better happier me!!!
I'm not sure if what I'm saying above is warning signs to any of ye that I'm not taking this serious, or that I have the wrong frame of mind already... I'm looking for advise is all I guess.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for sharing your experiences so openly and honestly.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Humbled, I think that acceptance is the key.
Right now, you have not fully accepted that you cannot drink alcohol, ever. Once you accept it, the rest will fall into place. I think that journaling can be very helpful. You can look back at your journal entries in a month or two or three and be reminded of the emotions you feeling at the time. You do not need to go further down in order to stop drinking.
Right now, you have not fully accepted that you cannot drink alcohol, ever. Once you accept it, the rest will fall into place. I think that journaling can be very helpful. You can look back at your journal entries in a month or two or three and be reminded of the emotions you feeling at the time. You do not need to go further down in order to stop drinking.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Acceptance is key
write down all these feelings of guilt & shame thats associated with your drinking then you will see your acceptance or you will choose to deny it
btw The chimp paradox book is a fantastic read
write down all these feelings of guilt & shame thats associated with your drinking then you will see your acceptance or you will choose to deny it
btw The chimp paradox book is a fantastic read
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
If drinking is a problem, not drinking is the solution, right?
It doesn't matter if you want to label yourself "alcoholic" or not. It doesn't matter if you count days or not. It doesn't matter about all the little details - different things work for different people. There are many subforums and ideas about staying away from alcohol.
The bottom line is that alcohol alters your brain. Until and unless you stay away from it, you'll never know peace. That's the truth as I know it.
It doesn't matter if you want to label yourself "alcoholic" or not. It doesn't matter if you count days or not. It doesn't matter about all the little details - different things work for different people. There are many subforums and ideas about staying away from alcohol.
The bottom line is that alcohol alters your brain. Until and unless you stay away from it, you'll never know peace. That's the truth as I know it.
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