Forgiving Oneself
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
SoberD, I struggled for a very long time with the guilt and shame, too. I was really stuck. What finally worked for me was journaling. I wrote whenever I felt a wave of guilt and it went on for many months, but each time I wrote down the words, they lost some of their power.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I found it hard to forgive myself too but the more distance I put between my old life and my old self and the new sober me and sober life, the easier it got.
I think there comes a point where you have to accept the past is immutable - we can;t change it. We can do a lot with today tho
draw a line in the sand and live the life you want to live Sober D...it'll help
D
I think there comes a point where you have to accept the past is immutable - we can;t change it. We can do a lot with today tho
draw a line in the sand and live the life you want to live Sober D...it'll help
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 64
some things that have helped me:
AA -- Steps 4 through 9 in particular, done with the guidance of a sponsor, simply erased a lot of resentment and guilt. extremely effective. making amends where possible is the ultimate in assuaging guilt, and simply opening up to someone else (like a sponsor) about the past is very healing. accepting that i was/am powerless over alcohol implies that i must forgive myself. i am still learning to fully accept that.
cranio-sacral therapy
journaling
prayer and meditation
A Course in Miracles
AA -- Steps 4 through 9 in particular, done with the guidance of a sponsor, simply erased a lot of resentment and guilt. extremely effective. making amends where possible is the ultimate in assuaging guilt, and simply opening up to someone else (like a sponsor) about the past is very healing. accepting that i was/am powerless over alcohol implies that i must forgive myself. i am still learning to fully accept that.
cranio-sacral therapy
journaling
prayer and meditation
A Course in Miracles
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
I think I began to forgive myself after my actions had clearly changed. The worst of my past is still there and I acknowledge it, but rather than being imprisoned by the shame of it, I see it as the reason why I need to continue to actively work my recovery.
I am not god - it is not my place to pass judgment on myself or anyone else. I can only do the very best I can with today, and when I do that, everything else falls into place.
I am not god - it is not my place to pass judgment on myself or anyone else. I can only do the very best I can with today, and when I do that, everything else falls into place.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
I got rid of my shame and guilt after I finished the 5th step of AA and disclosed ALL of my misconducts in front god and another human being (sponsor) I am free of all shame and guilt now. 10 months sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by SoberD 
As the title suggests, I have always had extreme difficulties in recovery with forgiving myself for the many awful things I have done as an alcoholic. I'm sure the list is familiar: lying, cheating, blackout driving, fighting, promiscuity, manipulation, using people, etc.
Do these feeling tend to subside when the mind and body begin to heal over time? I know the adage(s) of "not being able to change the past," etc., but they don't seem to provide much comfort when the shame and guilt pervades your thoughts...
Thanks, D
Do these feeling tend to subside when the mind and body begin to heal over time? I know the adage(s) of "not being able to change the past," etc., but they don't seem to provide much comfort when the shame and guilt pervades your thoughts...
Thanks, D
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