The time has come...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
The time has come...
For a new sponsor I think. I haven't been able to get to meetings thanks to a screwy half day for my daughters school schedule and work. So I was going to meet up with her today, which, again is impossible with her schedule and mine so I called her. And I really wanted to hear her voice and have some significant message for me. She said let me call you right back, I have to do something quick. So I waited by the phone. I held off feeding the farm, doing laundry, etc. I waited an hour and gave up. This is how it is always. It's been 59 days and I have had one thing she asked me to do. Write a gratitude list. I did that 40 days ago. What a ****** feeling. I feel like I wasn't a bad enough case to earn her help or maybe I'm too awful of a human and she doesn't want to deal with me. Hell I could throw one in there for my esteem...maybe, with my discovery of a higher power and my willingness to help others have already surpassed her level of expertise...nahhhh but it feels better to say that than beat myself up.
Jennifer
Jennifer
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by countrygirl2014 
maybe I'm too awful of a human and she doesn't want to deal with me.
Yup..got get a new one CG. There is a gal in this new community I'm in who has taken on something like 4 brand new sober gals. When I heard that I was like "WTH???". To me that's just irresponsible...
I saw one of her sponsees the other day..who had just had a relapse... a bad one.
In talking with this gal, she mentioned her sponsor was this "let's take on a freakin' herd of newcomers". I said "oh geez..I heard that woman has taken on 3 or 4 newcomers".
The woman paused and said "Hmmm..I guess that's why I haven't met with her yet".
Just because they are taking on "sponsees" ...does NOT mean they know better than you.
If it doesn't feel right...find a new one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Before looking for a new sensor have you brought thisnupnwith her?
I personally dont believe that is appropriate for ansponsor to behave like that.
PLEASE don't let your ego start tellin ya yer Weller than her.
Or let yourself think yer not sick enough for help.
But if in yer 3 months into this journey your sponsor hasn't done anything with you with stepwork...um....yeah....seems a new sponsor may be in order.
I personally dont believe that is appropriate for ansponsor to behave like that.
PLEASE don't let your ego start tellin ya yer Weller than her.
Or let yourself think yer not sick enough for help.
But if in yer 3 months into this journey your sponsor hasn't done anything with you with stepwork...um....yeah....seems a new sponsor may be in order.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 498
I was just thinking about you today and was going to message you, I hadn't seen a post from you in awhile and was hoping you are still doing well, I see that you are... 59 days is great! I'm don't have a sponsor or go to AA meetings so I'm not sure how that works but it could be like running partners, if mine blows me off enough times I move on to someone who has the same frame of mind I do, you are either there for each other or you aren't.
Good luck with this, and keep going
Good luck with this, and keep going
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Thanks for the input guys. This week has just been crazy and will continue to be until Wednesday of next week. I'm kid free Saturday and Sunday and can at least volunteer at the raptor center Friday. Then back to my regularly scheduled program. I have someone else in mind, I'll commit to that next week.
Jennifer
Jennifer
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Congrats on 59 days!
Yeah my schedule for work is wierd and I live in two places, so going to a lot of meetings really upped my stress.
I actually found a sponsor on here, someone I liked what they said and how they said it. She had some sobriety under her belt and had worked the steps, too. By all means talk to your sponsor about it. It's unrealistic to think that she'll be available all the time, but it's typical to have some face to face chats. Especially early on. For some, Skype even works for that. My sponsor is in another country and that's how we talked face to face.
But in any case, it's a two way street. If she isn't helping you, be honest and tell her. There's no shame in looking for another sponsor after that.
Yeah my schedule for work is wierd and I live in two places, so going to a lot of meetings really upped my stress.
I actually found a sponsor on here, someone I liked what they said and how they said it. She had some sobriety under her belt and had worked the steps, too. By all means talk to your sponsor about it. It's unrealistic to think that she'll be available all the time, but it's typical to have some face to face chats. Especially early on. For some, Skype even works for that. My sponsor is in another country and that's how we talked face to face.
But in any case, it's a two way street. If she isn't helping you, be honest and tell her. There's no shame in looking for another sponsor after that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 223
I had the same problem with my first sponsor so I found a new one and she is awesome! I'm glad I found a new one because I wouldn't have benefitted from AA if I hadn't and I was very leery of finding another after my experience with my first. The sponsor I have now would literally talk to me 5 times a day. I've learned that being in contact and reaching out to others is the foundation of how being in recovery works. I hope you can go to some meetings where you can talk to some ladies who could sponsor you are or at least get some numbers?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
I hope you find a sponsor who works out well for you very soon. I study and work on one step a week, and then we meet for a 1.5 hr coffee meeting every Monday after work to discuss the step. We each share our insights and experiences, and so far there has always been an optional but encouraged writing component for me to work on during the week. For example, this week it's writing down a list of what sanity would mean for me. We don't have a lot of contact other than that, but sometimes we do text a bit and I know that I am always welcome to text or phone. My sponsor took me to my first AA meeting and almost broke down when sharing with the group what an honour and privilege it was to be able to support someone through their first meeting - I knew I was onto something.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Originally Posted by Lance40
I hope you find a sponsor who works out well for you very soon. I study and work on one step a week, and then we meet for a 1.5 hr coffee meeting every Monday after work to discuss the step. We each share our insights and experiences, and so far there has always been an optional but encouraged writing component for me to work on during the week. For example, this week it's writing down a list of what sanity would mean for me. We don't have a lot of contact other than that, but sometimes we do text a bit and I know that I am always welcome to text or phone. My sponsor took me to my first AA meeting and almost broke down when sharing with the group what an honour and privilege it was to be able to support someone through their first meeting - I knew I was onto something.
Jennifer
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Parkman OH
Posts: 114
New sponsor time for sure, I have my actual sponsor, plus a group of guys that are there for when I can't get a hold of my sponsor. Everyone of these guys have more then 15 years sober, and are very active in the program. You can tell easily these type of people at the meetings.
Another thing that I enjoy a lot is this group of guys all get together on friday nights for a discussion meeting that is invite only. We eat, have some ice cream, and have a discussion that the topic is usually chosen by the cook for the week. The support is amazing with these guys.
Another thing that I enjoy a lot is this group of guys all get together on friday nights for a discussion meeting that is invite only. We eat, have some ice cream, and have a discussion that the topic is usually chosen by the cook for the week. The support is amazing with these guys.
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