ArtFriend

I haven't had a drink since the 15th. One thing I have noticed though is that I wake up feeling very depressed in the mornings. I don't know why that would be. As the day goes on the depression lifts and I am fine by mid-day.

Anyone else experience this?

Latte

Oh yes, and I've been clean and sober for almost a year.

Tis the season for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and yes, even in Dallas TX. Check in to some natural remedies for that and if it doesn't help-you can definitely look at talking to someone. I have a SAD light around here somewhere. I need to break that puppy out!

jazzfish

I am not necessarily depressed in the morning, but in early recovery emotions can be all over the place. It should get better with time, but if it persists you can seek professional help.

rjask

I definitely feel a sense of malaise bordering in dread in the morning. I just simply don't want to drag my ass out of bed and face the day.

I think it has to do with the general uncertainty of each day, not knowing how I'm going to react to triggers, not knowing how I'm going to act to the stressful events that I used as excuses to drink in the past.

The happiest part of the day for me is when I've settled into bed sober, knowing I have made it through the day, and soon I'll be asleep. I definitely do a job of blocking out thoughts of tomorrow while falling asleep. I think tomorrow creeps back in while I sleep and hence the depressing mornings.

Inchworm

Yes. Sometimes I wonder if I had dreamed of my mortality. Pema Chodron speaks of the "ubiquitous anxiety" that we all carry. It is good to be in touch with it so that we can choose to face the day with our courage.

CAPTAINZING2000

Is the depression job related?

ArtFriend

I think I know why I am depressed this morning particularly. I watched 60 Minutes last night and there was a segment about Chernobyl. After almost 30 years the radiation is still very high. So they are creating this moveable "dome" (huge) that will slide over the reactor and then they will seal it forever. I dreamed last night that I was sealing my alcoholic brother in that dome. Disturbing.

But this is the first crazy dream I have had since I stopped. I suppose the depression is a combination of many things.

ArtFriend

I don't think so because it tends to lift as the day progresses.

Ruby2

Yes. I go through this almost every single day and absolutely hate it. Waking up feeling like the world is going end, that the walls are closing in on me. Just a wretched, wretched lowness. But by the time I drop the kids at school and get to work it's gone completely.

All I can suggest is getting organized for the next day the night before. Take it slowly in the morning. Get a routine going. I have almost a year sober. I don't necessarily think it's sobriety related. I'm just not a morning person. The positive thing is that you know that it will pass and it does. You have the reassurance of past days to know this to be true. It just stinks to go through it at the time.

Ruby2

And by the way, thank you for posting this. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one going through this.

earlyriser

I have some mornings since I quit drinking where there is a feeling of dread that really has no basis. I wonder sometimes if that is something everyone experiences on occasion, and whether my hangovers superceded those feelings on many mornings. Like you, they dissipate as the day progresses.

Best wishes for your continued sobriety.

Earlyriser

herradura

A few cups of strong black coffee help me get over this problem daily. That and stop sealing family members into large domes. Coffee first then the sealing issue. I had a crazy dream last night too, I just get up and go what the hell was that all about!!

mns1

I don't really have this problem, and I can't speculate on what's causing it for you, but perhaps I can offer a suggestion that might help.

One habit I've been trying to really get into lately is, first thing in the morning, I write down three things that I am thankful for. It can be something as small as the sunshine or a cup of coffee or something as big as my car or house. This helps put your mind in a better spot because it gets you in the habit of focusing on all of the positive things that are right in front of you that you don't normally notice because of the often chaotic routine of daily life.

Hope this helps!

Chillly

I dont know why either, but I'll tell you that it happens to me too

ArtFriend

Thank you all! Great suggestions and I am glad that other people go thru this. No...that didn't come out right...I am not glad other people go thru this, just glad to know I am not alone with this. Whew!!

And yeah...sealing people up in domes is definitely an afternoon task.

leviathan

i get it too! my most effective strategy seems to be reminding myself that this is emotion, and fleeting. then i take the baby-steps i need to get me going. -put on shoes. tie shoes. etc. then i use the old AA slogan: "fake it till you make it." and just act like im doing ok. usually after an hour or so im able to get out of my head.

im still dealing with alot of guilt for my substance related behavior. my hypothesis is that once im feeling like i have fixed everything to a reasonable extent, i will have this experience less frequently.

Soberpotamus

I like what Inchworm said. I find it to be true in my case sometimes as well... I have existential angst still, even in my thirties. I figured it would be gone by now. Ha. It has gotten better for me. I was horrified of death in my twenties.

But mostly I identified with the statement about courage... each day I have the opportunity to wake up, stretch and yawn... and dig down deep for some courage. Some days it's harder than others to find it. But, it's there nonetheless.

Dogs help Kisses in the morning, wagging tails, and their happy faces make me realize how simple life can be. It gives me energy on days when I hardly have any.

LBrain

at almost 11 months I still experience that

ArtFriend

SoberJennie - I remember having tremendous existential angst in my teen years (teen drama). I recently found something I wrote when I was 17. It was a letter to my future self and it was to encourage this future self to rise above the fray and don't let the demands of the world hold you down. Strive for those dreams, take chances, be all you can. I am 57 now. 40 years on, I wonder where that 17 year old is today. She would have been so disappointed in the way things turned out.

Aellyce

Not with depression but with anxiety, yes. I had this nearly daily during my first 1-1.5 months sober. Wake up in a high anxiety state (sometimes even briefly in the middle of the night around 3-4 am) in the morning. Then get up, have a coffee, and for me in ~30-40 mins it was usually gone. Sometimes it would linger longer, till about noon, like you said. It really scared me in the beginning because it was pretty intense, and I did not look forward to being so anxious all day... but turned out transient.

There are lots of fluctuations in our brain chemistry throughout the day. For example, some of the chemicals that are associated with anxiety are normally highest upon wakeup, then as the day progresses, the levels go down; this is the normal pattern. I really think that's what I was feeling and it was intense in the very early days because there are so many changes and adjustments in our brains during that time anyway. I still get this sometimes, but now much less intense, and I just don't care, it goes away quickly. I discussed it with several SR members in the past who experienced the same.

I'm almost certain that if you experience such a fluctuating mood, it's probably something similar, especially if you cannot relate it to anything specific. I would not worry about it.