Awoke to the nitemare I created
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
One thing that has crossed my mind, Jeremy, is the thought that one day I'll realize I haven't seen you post in a while... and that we'll never hear from you again. Your situation is dire, it seems. I hate to say it, but it crossed my mind that you'll die from this if you don't commit to inpatient. I don't often post things like this, as I know I may be way off the mark. We only know you online. Please, Jeremy... cut the s&*# and do something NOW. Today, not tomorrow. Today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by SoberJennie 
One thing that has crossed my mind, Jeremy, is the thought that one day I'll realize I haven't seen you post in a while... and that we'll never hear from you again. Your situation is dire, it seems. I hate to say it, but it crossed my mind that you'll die from this if you don't commit to inpatient. I don't often post things like this, as I know I may be way off the mark. We only know you online. Please, Jeremy... cut the s&*# and do something NOW. Today, not tomorrow. Today.
You're living miserably, and you'll die miserably and that will be the sum total of your existence. Life and people will move on, and their concern and what you might have done won't matter anymore - it'll all have been decided by your choices and what you did. In that sense you're on your own and if you keep going the way you are then you'll have an audience of caring people watching from the life raft as you sink beneath the waves for the final time.
Right now I'm one of those caring people on the life raft making my own choice to make this a sober life of fulfilled meaning, and I wish you peace, love and the wisdom to make right choices.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 226
Jeremy,
I've been following your posts for a while now. I think you need to make a decision here.
Do something to help yourself or do nothing. Continual posts about your 'in between' world are beginning to make me agree that you crave attention more than you crave to get help.
Seriously man - take action.
I've been following your posts for a while now. I think you need to make a decision here.
Do something to help yourself or do nothing. Continual posts about your 'in between' world are beginning to make me agree that you crave attention more than you crave to get help.
Seriously man - take action.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
" Enjoy the attention more than the support" if its attention I wanted I could find it other places, this my friend is an addict
At the top of the thread here someone posted about surrender. It hasn't come yet. We witness the ongoing battle day after day after day after day .....
I too fear that it will kill you (you will disappear as Jennie says) before you realize your AV/ego has a death wish here Jeremy.
We are all battle weary here with you Jeremy. It's over...you CANNOT beat this thing. YOU CANNOT. Get you're effin ego out of the way and ADMIT DEFEAT. YOU CANNOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN.
YOU NEED INPATIENT IMMEDIATELY.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,076
Jeremy, everyone wants to see you succeed in sobriety. However, you have to understand everyone's frustration here with your circumstances. You seem to be a very intelligent man. You know what needs to be done. Go do inpatient. Please!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,944
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
You would think it hurts quit right, its becoming clear to me why people die of this habit, I am on borrowed time. Do I stop no, do I listen or take advice nope, why do I do it..... No clue! I guess I want life to go away and be in a drunk stupor 24 7.
What comes now, sobering up, which the anxiety sets in and the regret. Then a promise to never do this again ( right) the promise always follows. Then I do good a day or two 3 if I am feeling lucky. Then I drink and repeats the cycle.
I ask myself, are you serious about quitting, and in sober, safe, sane moments I think to myself yes! This is what we need Jeremy, then the neurotic addicted side of me goes, well you hate yourself, the family is going to leave you lost everything screw it bro lets drink.
I have strong compulsions to do things I don't want to do, I feel out of it and without control when it happens, so I drink. No damn wonder this habit kills, I completely understand.
Doing something you don't want to do, can't stand to do, but do because you don't know how to handle things otherwise.
Inpatient is what I need, am I going to go, I don't know my AV tells me screw it, lets drink and be merry and thats the most honest anyone can ever be.
What comes now, sobering up, which the anxiety sets in and the regret. Then a promise to never do this again ( right) the promise always follows. Then I do good a day or two 3 if I am feeling lucky. Then I drink and repeats the cycle.
I ask myself, are you serious about quitting, and in sober, safe, sane moments I think to myself yes! This is what we need Jeremy, then the neurotic addicted side of me goes, well you hate yourself, the family is going to leave you lost everything screw it bro lets drink.
I have strong compulsions to do things I don't want to do, I feel out of it and without control when it happens, so I drink. No damn wonder this habit kills, I completely understand.
Doing something you don't want to do, can't stand to do, but do because you don't know how to handle things otherwise.
Inpatient is what I need, am I going to go, I don't know my AV tells me screw it, lets drink and be merry and thats the most honest anyone can ever be.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Inpatient was the best thing I did for myself. man, I didn't want to go, I cried and felt sorry for myself but I knew (so grateful I had that moment of clarity) I was in the Land of No Other Sane Choice. I had proved to myself, over and over, I could not do it alone.
Go. Do as you are told. Keep an open mind. Be honest with yourself and with your peers. I tell you, for me it was a huge weight off my shoulders.
You deserve this, dear Jeremy. you are worth it.
love From Lenina
Go. Do as you are told. Keep an open mind. Be honest with yourself and with your peers. I tell you, for me it was a huge weight off my shoulders.
You deserve this, dear Jeremy. you are worth it.
love From Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by Lenina
Inpatient was the best thing I did for myself. man, I didn't want to go, I cried and felt sorry for myself but I knew (so grateful I had that moment of clarity) I was in the Land of No Other Sane Choice. I had proved to myself, over and over, I could not do it alone.
Go. Do as you are told. Keep an open mind. Be honest with yourself and with your peers. I tell you, for me it was a huge weight off my shoulders.
You deserve this, dear Jeremy. you are worth it.
love From Lenina
Go. Do as you are told. Keep an open mind. Be honest with yourself and with your peers. I tell you, for me it was a huge weight off my shoulders.
You deserve this, dear Jeremy. you are worth it.
love From Lenina
One day, he came up to me outside an AA meeting looking real bad. He was almost crying, telling me how bad things had gotten and that he was tired of living the way he was and wanted help. I offered to take him to a rehab that would definitely take him. He said ok, but I turned away for a minute to talk to someone else. When I turned around he was gone. Someone said they saw him take off through the woods. Haven't seen him since. Hope he is doing ok, but I doubt it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Please do what you need to do to save your life. I've watched several people (friends and family) die of alcoholism and it's very painful and sad. They were all in their 20's, 30's & 40's. Your disease is very happy right now! It wants you dead! It wants your heart to stop beating. It wants your organs to shut down. It wants you to get wet brain. It wants you laying in a casket DEAD!
I know all this for myself too! I'm also struggling. We can do this together! Your life, my life...is worth something! I don't know you but I don't want you to die. Unfortunately....the reality is...you WILL die if you don't stop and most likely it will be soon. :-( Makes me so sad. Brings back so many memories of my beautiful friends and family who's lives were stolen by this disease.
I care. I don't think you are doing this all for attention. I think you are in the battle of your life! Your AV wants you to drink and die. YOU want to live. I agree with everyone else...go to inpatient. Do you want to live??? I'm serious when I ask that. I asked one of my friends that question near the end of her life and she said "I don't know!" She was so far gone that I really don't think she was thinking straight. She had everything to live for, she was gorgeous, smart, successful, husband, kids, nice house etc. and her answer was "I DON'T KNOW?!?" She died alone a month later at a very young age. She laid down to take a nap and never woke up. Her body just couldn't take it anymore. :-( She is now just ashes. I hate this F-ing disease! It's a slow suicide! Don't let it kill you!
I care about you! Do YOU care about you? Do you want to live?
I know all this for myself too! I'm also struggling. We can do this together! Your life, my life...is worth something! I don't know you but I don't want you to die. Unfortunately....the reality is...you WILL die if you don't stop and most likely it will be soon. :-( Makes me so sad. Brings back so many memories of my beautiful friends and family who's lives were stolen by this disease.
I care. I don't think you are doing this all for attention. I think you are in the battle of your life! Your AV wants you to drink and die. YOU want to live. I agree with everyone else...go to inpatient. Do you want to live??? I'm serious when I ask that. I asked one of my friends that question near the end of her life and she said "I don't know!" She was so far gone that I really don't think she was thinking straight. She had everything to live for, she was gorgeous, smart, successful, husband, kids, nice house etc. and her answer was "I DON'T KNOW?!?" She died alone a month later at a very young age. She laid down to take a nap and never woke up. Her body just couldn't take it anymore. :-( She is now just ashes. I hate this F-ing disease! It's a slow suicide! Don't let it kill you!
I care about you! Do YOU care about you? Do you want to live?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers! I was praying for you and I just had a feeling come over me that YOU ARE GONNA GET SOBER and live a happy life and help others get sober one day. You ARE! Believe it!!!! Xo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,116
Originally Posted by chicory
Jeremy, I am sorry for your pain, but also glad for your pain, in that seems to be what drives alcoholics to surrender.. to the fact that they are powerless.
Only then can that beautiful thing called HOPE come in.
Only then can that beautiful thing called HOPE come in.
Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 219
I want to thank everyone for posting. I've been annoyed all day that I can't drink ever again but now I'm just grateful I'm sober.
Thatdeliveryguy, I doubt you are just trying to get attention. It sounds like this addiction is more than you should be dealing with on your own. To echo everyone else, please go to rehab. You are very fortunate to still have that option. Hoping the best for you. Please don't give up on yourself
Thatdeliveryguy, I doubt you are just trying to get attention. It sounds like this addiction is more than you should be dealing with on your own. To echo everyone else, please go to rehab. You are very fortunate to still have that option. Hoping the best for you. Please don't give up on yourself
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