Cecilia44

I did make it 19 days sober and then gave in. What I really wanted to post here (I know, I haven't posted in a while, but I have been reading everyone else's posts) is that I made it 30 days, but I slipped.

However, so far for the month of November, I have only drank once. Just once.

I finally realized and accepted the fact that I really can't drink. (Much like I did many years ago when I quit before for 7 years). Finally I have admittedly to myself again that alcohol is something I really can't handle or do normally.

While I feel bad for the one day I gave in (I think I just wanted to see what it was like to drink again), I am truly determined to succeed at quitting. I KNOW I will win my battle. I KNOW it.

As far as underlying issues, I also know that it was depression that drove me back to drinking again (this was also about 7, maybe 8 years ago). After about 4 years of being depressed, the habit just hung on until finally I am ready to start addressing it. (And no, I wasn't depressed because I was drinking back then, because I wasn't. I got depressed first and THEN picked up again).

I realize too, that before I started this journey of drinking again for 7 years, that when I was at the doctor's office and she asked me if I was depressed (I was there for an unrelated issue, so not sure why she asked that, but she did), my mind said "yes," but unfortunately, I told her "no." I should have spoken up then and maybe she could have helped me and it may have spared me these last 7-8 years of drinking h*ll.

But ... that was all stuff from "yesterday" and here I am. Feeling better (have 5 days sober since my slip) and I WILL succeed.

For any newcomers, I would tell you this: You truly have to admit to yourself that you cannot drink. You have to accept it and realize it truly in your heart and then you can quit. I realize this is what was holding me back and I won't let it do so any more.

Because I truly can't drink ....

That's o.k. though, I really love being sober.

Thanks for reading this.

least

Pick yourself up and start over again. Don't give up!

sprout50

Well, you have 5 days now. In 25 days, you get to write that 30 day post. You learned something from that one slip and you know you can do this.

FreeOwl

Each sober day is a step toward a deeper, richer life and the understanding of what sobriety entails and brings.

When we fall down and relapse, we can choose to lament.... Or to learn and return.

Stronger, deeper, better.

Soberwolf

Well done on your 19 days Cecilla keep on going your doing fantastic

IOAA2

Hi and congratulations on your sober time. You seem to know the drill so I’d suggest jumping on the sober trail and start doing what’s needed like the basic “ we don’t drink one day at a time IN a row.”

BE WELL

PurpleKnight

5 Days is fantastic!! Keep it going!!

JanieJ

You've done well, one slip and straight back on it with a good determined attitude ...keep it going ! x