Maybe I Just Need a Laugh....
 

Ever wonder if maybe you just need a colouring book and some crayons...or maybe some construction paper and glitter?

I'm wondering if I'm starting to suffer "recovery burnout". I got up early this morning as I thought it was the church ladies' cookie walk downtown. I was incredibly jazzed about the idea of getting all my holiday baking done by simply strolling around choosing goodies I could pay for by the pound. I had the date wrong.

I went to a local AA event instead....

I suddenly started to feel sick and tired of "feeling sick and tired of feeling sick and tired"....

I felt sick of hearing phrases like "stinking thinking" and people telling me about "HALT"...like I was born frigging yesterday. Seriously...why does everybody spout tired adages like they are prolific ideas born last Tuesday??? No I don't have a new sponsor and yes I have gratitude and no I don't think every effin' thing in my life will be solved if I do the damn steps. Really people....quit talking about the steps like I'm going to see Jesus and win the lottery when I close up the book on No. 12.

I am not dogging AA...sorry.

I came home and made myself a cup of hot chocolate and picked up my sister's copy of Ekart Tolle's "The Power of Now".

Until I thought to myself...really????Don't you ever get sick of trying to fix yourself there honeybunch?????

I really need to quit trying to fix myself...before I say "eff it" and start drinking.

:hug:

Hi Nudawn sorry your having a bad day if you want to talk send me a pm if you want

Nothing stopping your from buying a coloring book and crayons, is there now? Coloring outside the lines is my specialty. :)

Hey Nuudawn... Love this post... Cheered me up no end sweetie! I have a limited tolerance of twee little phrases and obsessive cheeriness at the best of times...

I know the feeling of the day you planned suddenly going down the pan and once that mood switches... You better just stay away from me!

Hope you're feeling better soon... And thanks for making me smile... Even if you didn't mean to... 😊

You sound irritable, nuu. And sarcastic. It is clever but it is painful, too. At least it is for me when I am sick and tired. Take a break, maybe? I haven't been involved in AA maybe for just the reasons you cite. It's all about tolerating others..and ourselves...taking a nonjudgmental stance, I think. Pulling for you, nuu.

For the newcomers................

It's all about the newcomers.

We need to just get the plan down and march forward.

Or play with some silly putty.

Wishing you beautiful moments in a day that has been filled with trouble in the trail.

I believe what's called for is Rule 62.

I'm a big one for trying to figure things out. Nowadays, except when I get paid to do it, I try to do a lot less of that. To stop making sense.

Then you can laugh. Or just feel the breeze when the AA meetings get windy.

:)

I think you can be a little gentler on yourself Nu and maybe others too LOL..

You're in a new city - living with a sibling...recovery at home and at AA...you need to get a footing, put down some roots and, most of all, relax

What if it's not recovery burnout but a little AV imp seizing its chance and fanning the flames for all its worth?

D

Hi Nuu,

Sometimes you just have stand and breathe and know that you are on the right track. Even when you think you're not moving forward, your subconscious is helping you along. Hang in there!

Nuu! No, no, no. This is exactly where you want to be. You are branching out and mixing yourself with the recovery world. :hug: Finding balance between the two.

If we were in the same city I would meet you for a tasty dinner, dessert and some crazy laughing and talk about random things. And you could see how I am a grown woman who looks like a teenager because I bought a handheld acne light and boy do many things get worse before they get better. We could laugh together. We all still can.

You are growing and stretching your boundaries within boundaries. Starting a new job around booze is stressful as well. C'mon Nuu. Give yourself credit. You do not really want to be back there and you know it.

XXXXO :grouphug:

Oops. More hugs for Nuu! :hug: You know the mix-up with the little old ladies cookie walk was just divine intervention anyhow. Someone really likes their cookies.

Hey Nuudawn

I also went through the phase of "being sick and tired of being sick and tired" in early days. Like you, that didn't last long. I reckon its because perpetually using fear and threats aren't effective in the long term to maintain sobriety.

Fortunately, for me I discovered spirituality. It helps in realizing that happiness comes from inside and not to rely on external factors such as "retail therapy", substances, folks, etc. As a result, I am gradually discovering many positive aspects of sobriety. Gratitude is incredibly important. There is a Youtube clip by a monk on gratitude as being the source of happiness. I am not beholden to all of is views but there were some nuggets of truth in his presentation.

In short, indeed do look at the happier side and take life much much less seriously :)

"Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan"...oh man...thank you Trach.
My heart thanks you....deeply.

And thanks all.
Maybe I just need to get....

Never mind :08:

Nuu,

I didn't get sober to spend the rest of my life in church basements drinking bad coffee. It's about finding the balance that works for you. Keep searching, and know that regardless of their magnitude, whatever emotions and perspective you have right now are bound to change. So long as you choose not to drink, feel free to choose differently to find what mix is best for you.

Nuudawn, just stop doing things that upset you. That AV is a sneaky SOB and it always waiting for the chance, rootin for ya. :egypt:

http://i680.photobucket.com/albums/v...eflowers16.jpg

Thank you Eddie. I think that's what is at issue. I'm a little out of balance. I have gone from a lovely little once a week meeting, in step with SR, familiar landscapes, running at my gym... to well...just too much..recovery due to fear of unfamiliar and trying to find a little community. Well..there ain't no recovery race going on here. I knew that before and I need to know that again.

I need to step it back now....
Check out a yoga class and maybe run on a treadmill...

Sorry for venting it out here ...in Newcomers...don't want to scare anyone off.
Growing pains...lot of 'em.
Being a bit of a recovery ragdoll rather than ....well, knowing I'm okay. I was okay and I will be okay again.

Sheer brilliance right there Nefer. And I do mean that. I think I forgot I know what's best for me.

That's a lot of change. I understand. You may as well slow down, because the world isn't going to revolve around our pace. I know this, I don't like it, but I know it.

Hey girl,

I agree with yourself and most posters on this thread that your are probably focusing too heavily on trying to figure out what's wrong with you, and how to fix that. Jumping from one perceived problem to the next. Also, I just had a quick look at your recent thread history (since you've sobered up the last time) and what strikes me is that nearly all of your threads are focused on your emotions, or emotional stuff in general (whatever it is at that particular time), dissecting these feelings with a crowd of others (yeah I've been guilty of participating) :) It's interesting, useful, can be fun, but perhaps can also be overwhelming to you at times, especially recently? Balance...

You know what I think, and I may be wrong. That focusing intensely on recovery and changing our life is a good thing, but perhaps not that heavily and/or not all the time on the emotional components of it. Because as you know, feelings change like the weather, especially in early sobriety.

So this may or may not be relevant to your situation, but I think what has worked for me especially after ~4-5 months of sobriety: I started to think much more "big picture", about the practical areas of my life, and how I would like to improve those and my strategies. And place all the recovery-related issues in a more practical context, by setting focus more on what larger areas and strategies would be good to work on differently. Asking advise on those. Of course many of the discussions and my own internal processing would become quite emotion-heavy on the go, but it's not the main focus all the time. I often feel that while I'm dealing with all the various external and practical reality issues in my life (including other people's problems), my own changes and evolution naturally integrate and show up in these processes without my even having to make a very conscious effort. Maybe a little lighter this way? Dunno.

So putting it in the practical way I'm trying to allude to :) Maybe instead of introspecting on your own emotions all over space and time, try to define practical goals that you would like to set to yourself, and interact with people about those a little? You clearly have a lot of practical challenges around you currently so would not be short of theme? I feel this might help you because you are a pretty down-to-earth person when you are not getting lost in the maze of your mind and feelings, including your history...

And yeah, some dummy things every now and then. This is something people often recommend to me also, it works :)