MythOfSisyphus

I can perhaps understand a tiny portion of what you're going through, although it's not the same. It hit me hard when my dad died even though his health had been poor for a while and it wasn't totally out of the blue. He was too young at 67 with a lot of life left in him but it's not the same as losing a child in the prime of her life.

At any rate, it affected me deeply for a long time, and I guess it still does. Weirdest thing is that when I started to feel better I'd get waves of guilt for not suffering more. It didn't seem fair for me to be happy when he was gone. But in time I'm learning to deal with it.

No pill could possibly erase the pain of losing your daughter. If such a pill existed I'd be horrified to take it. I think we need to hurt after a loss, and to a great degree it has to run its course. That said, an anti-depressant could take the edge off an allow you to function. Naturally that's up to you and your MD.

I wish there was something useful I could say or recommend, MIRecovery. The loss of a loved one is perhaps the biggest challenge most of us will ever face. It may even be more difficult than facing our own deaths.

Sending virtual hugs your way!

tomsteve

Mi, I'm glad you are recognizing this and also glad you are gong through it instead of stuffing it.. I would encourage you to look into support both online( there's some good forums online for grief support) and f2f, which if you were to call your local hospices I sure you can find they offer support in some form.
Also,im sure you can find people in the fellowship that have gone through similar losses. Yu may want to ask your sponsor and others if they know anyone who has been through it.
Yu and yours are in my prayers.

FreeOwl

MI....

My heart aches with you as I imagine the pain, sorrow, despair of your loss.

I will keep you in my prayers and meditation... I will breathe in your pain with you.

Part of it is no doubt allowing the depression... Allowing the pain.... Seeing and accepting it.

The pain and sadness are real and huge! That you are suffering is only human....

I do so hope you will seek support for yourself; counseling, perhaps a supportive environment to learn and practice meditation.

I am not a doctor so will suggest you leave the issue of medication to the professionals - but if I were in your shoes I would be sure to ask 'is medication the correct and effective course when what I am dealing with is clearly tied to great loss?'

In any case get yourself support and take action to feel, experience and process your grief.

We are here for you.... But you will need more that the words and prayers of your SR family.

MIRecovery

Thanks all for the great ideas and prayers. I think I will get some 1 on 1 counseling and see what else they recommend

Lenina

((((MIR)))). I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said, grief requires, often times, some specialized counseling. You might ask your MD for a referral or call your local hospital social services (sometimes the ER might have a list) and see if they can refer you. there's also a support group you might find helpful. Compassionatefriends.org. Give it a look.

Grieving takes its own pace. Please don't be hard on yourself or let other people tell you how to feel or for how long. I needed extra help. Grief counseling is usually a set number of sessions, it's not long term analysis.

I will keep you in my heart.

Love from Lenina

CodeJob

MI,

Please get help. Are you walking or exercising every day? I know the snow socked areas in pretty well there too... It is so cloudy there several of my local peeps swear by those special light lamps too...

foolsgold66

A downward slide at 4 months just 'feels' wrong. Grieving makes its own terms, but with most people the pain gradually eases over time.

Grief counseling sounds like a great plan, but a check-in with your MD might not hurt either. There's plenty of anecdotal evidence that quitting smoking can cause depression, and/or that smoking can mask depressive symptoms. Your doctor may have seen this before.

Mags1

MIR, when I was 10 years old my brother, who was 12, died. My parents and siblings all grieved but we never ever talked about it, just left his chair empty. This led to our own problems not opening up and keeping it all inside, years later, for me, anyhow.

You do right going to speak to someone 1 to 1 councelling. My prayers go with you.

matilda123

MIR, my thoughts are with you...

Nuudawn

Really glad you're goin this route MIR.