How do you stay strong?
 

Lately, I've been under a lot of pressure. My husband finished his surgery and he is having complications. I'm there to support him, and always do. However, I'm finding it harder to keep me ok. I know I have to take care of myself because you put your oxigen mask on first and then help others. I know if I drink it won't make it any better just worse. It's that familiarity that it will take you away. I know taking a simple break helps, even asking for others to help me out. I've tried AA, but it seems like they weren't very receptive to me. Perhaps I should try again. I know you all have been there and for the long timers what have you done to stay strong in these early periods? Any input is appreciated thanks

Hi Rachinator

I think support's very important - noone has to do it alone - in fact I think the successful ones don't.

Noone can be strong all the time - that's when reinforcements come in handy :)

Maybe you hit a bad meeting - maybe you felt a little too self conscious - who knows. I'd give AA a try again tho. Nothing to lose right?

There are, of course, other face to face options too - here's some links to some of the main recovery players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.


D

What do you want Rachinator, what do you most want?

I am not a long timer-97 days sober-but what I do is play back the tape in my head of what made me want to be sober. I don't want to go back to those days. I also have a lot of stressors and have always felt guilty taking time for my self. Not anymore. I need it. So every afternoon, I take a half an hour for just me and my vanilla latte.

You need time for you even if it is just something simple. You could try AA again. As Dee said, you have nothing to lose.

I hope your husband recovers soon.

D has good advice

Hello Rach,
+ Speaking from a Biblical perspective - the enemy of our souls knows how to undermine us and get us to feel like giving up. I found that there is strength available thru prayer.

+ From an AA 12 Traditions perspective - the only requirement for membership (or attendance) is a desire to stop drinking. That means I belong there just because I choose to show up. That RIGHT was secured for me by the founders of the program, and God changed their lives so that millions upon millions are FREE, and continue to be (In spite of some negative people in AA, and in spite of how I may 'feel' about some of the meetings).

+ From the perspective of a person that drank for 40 years - I am FREE today, and in a few days will have 1 year Sober and grateful. I could not fix myself; it came for me through reading the AA Big Book, working the AA 12 Steps, having a sponsor, and listening to LOTS of AA Speaker messages which I found by doing many web searches on the internet.

I know YOU can stay strong, and it may need to be thru surrender, and 'walking-thru' the horrible feelings that seems to be inevitable when getting FREE from the life-controlling addiction....RDBplus3

Basically, by telling myself that I had the strength to do this. That I needed to draw on that strength if I wanted to succeed. I banished negative thinking and I prayed.

I did have the strength; you have it too.

Thanks guys it really helps

Thanks for posting this, I'm learning too. :)

In the most stressful of times, I try to focus on my goal of sobriety in the bigger picture knowing that with each success my brain is retraining itself to be able to cope without alcohol. Each time I make it through a tough spot, I gain more confidence. I see that I really can deal with it. Life throws us curveballs sometimes, and those are the times when we dig deep, and find our real strength.

Sorry you are struggling hard right now. I know dealing with the aftermath of a surgery really wears on all those involved.

SR is a great support online of course, but maybe you'd benefit from one on one counseling, another AA group you might not have tried, Women For Sobriety, etc.

Hi Dee. Congrats on Post 100,000!!!

I really like what Carl said about banishing negative thinking. OK, maybe I wasn't able to banish it.... but I did start to identify the negative thoughts as they came, and I chalked them up to my addiction. The doubts, fears, temptations, resentments, and maybe most of all, the self-pitying "why me?" thoughts—all those things I realized were products of my addiction, something the addiction used to try to break me down, and weaken my resolve. The truth was, as hard as things were, they were better than before. For the first time in a long time, I was making progress. I was trying, not just trying, but doing. Yay for me! So the negative thoughts made no sense—unless it was the voice of my addiction.

Once I took all the negative thoughts and labeled them "the voice of addiction," it became a lot easier to ignore them. It wasn't me who wanted a drink or doubted my ability to make it through the day—it was my addiction saying that, whispering lies in my ear, trying to make me doubt myself. Once I recognized that, it became a lot easier to dismiss them entirely. And I reminded myself that if I could just make it another day, the addiction would be that much weaker, and I would be that much stronger. You are making great progress, even if it feels like you are standing still.

You are doing great—you can and will escape the gravitational pull, just keep taking it step by step. That's how even the biggest mountains are climbed. :)

I focus on all the positives that come with living sober. I clearly remember where I was when drinking and do not want to go back there. :)