first real challenge - home alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: South Asia
Posts: 74
first real challenge - home alone
I just dropped my wife off at the airport. She will be away for 2 weeks - a very common situation in our house - except this time is the first time that she has been away since I quit for real.
In the past, I would hit it much harder than usual when she is away on business. We live alone, so with the house to myself for weeks at a time - things would always get very messy. I always drank alone.
These 2 weeks will be my first real test, especially since lately I have been having a few day 50 something cravings - and these cravings are not for 'just one'...I have been craving 'all of them'.
First night over, victory, off to bed sober.
Good night or good morning SR buddies wherever you are.
In the past, I would hit it much harder than usual when she is away on business. We live alone, so with the house to myself for weeks at a time - things would always get very messy. I always drank alone.
These 2 weeks will be my first real test, especially since lately I have been having a few day 50 something cravings - and these cravings are not for 'just one'...I have been craving 'all of them'.
First night over, victory, off to bed sober.
Good night or good morning SR buddies wherever you are.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
hey listen; you're not alone. You've got us. Where in "south asia" do you find yourself? I spent a good deal of time there when I lived in that region.
Stay on here.... find yourself a face-to-face option if you can.... keep yourself engaged with other activities.... you can do this.
Stay on here.... find yourself a face-to-face option if you can.... keep yourself engaged with other activities.... you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 174
Great job on the 50 days! Its time to begin a new wife away routine. Something that you can rely on while she is away. Good time for a hobby with the free alone time. Pick something up, whatever interests you. The great thing about picking up a new hobby when you are sober is that there are no past triggers associated with it. Paint, write, military models, exercise etc. Or maybe make something for your wife.
keep at it your doing great!
keep at it your doing great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 199
Sobriety is something I do for me, not my wife or anyone else. The benefits of the relationship with my wife, friends and children are a positive by-product of my decision for myself. Alone or accompanied I will know if I mess up, so I don't. I hope this helps, and I hope you are indeed making these changes for a better you. Sobriety is all bout taking your life back on your terms. Congrats on 50+ days. I am right with you in the numbers, it is still early ad we are still fragile. Keep fighting for you! I am sure you are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 48
Terrific 50 days!
My husband travels frequently for work and that is usually when I would binge drink in the evening. He hasn't traveled yet since I've been sober but I can relate to your feeling of nervousness, or being tested. My plan for myself is to have projects that I can work on in the evening and to have a check in call with him and a friend (a few hours apart). I know I need to be accountable to myself first but in these first several months of sobriety I like the idea of being accountable to others as well.
Hope you check in here during the next few weeks. I believe in you!
My husband travels frequently for work and that is usually when I would binge drink in the evening. He hasn't traveled yet since I've been sober but I can relate to your feeling of nervousness, or being tested. My plan for myself is to have projects that I can work on in the evening and to have a check in call with him and a friend (a few hours apart). I know I need to be accountable to myself first but in these first several months of sobriety I like the idea of being accountable to others as well.
Hope you check in here during the next few weeks. I believe in you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 19
Home alone is a big trigger for me, too. At 31 days, I don't have a lot of suggestions. I was confronted with the same situation a few days ago, and I used the time to connect with a few old friends and finish a book. It is hard for me to watch movies - for some reason seeing people drink alcohol is a big trigger for me as well. Be strong.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I tackled the home alone imp by reiterating to myself I wasn't 17 and my folks weren;t going out of town - I was a 40 year old adult male (then).
I had a responsibility to myself for self care and well being that should endure whether someone else was there or not.
Tell your AV to go find a frat house and leave you alone
D
I had a responsibility to myself for self care and well being that should endure whether someone else was there or not.
Tell your AV to go find a frat house and leave you alone
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TN
Posts: 365
Same situation here, the wife is leaving for a little more than a a week, starting tomorrow. It used to be a huge trigger for me because I was not grown up. I'm almost 48 but acted like 17. This is the second time my wife is out of the house since I got sober so I have some experience now. It's still a little hard but I will persevere. Hang in there.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
I think the grass is always greener...I'm almost never alone (either at work, or at home with my noisy family, haha) so having some time and space in early recovery sounds like an absolute dream to me. You can do exactly what you feel like (eat, sleep, watch movies) on your own timeline. Best of luck, I'm sure you will persevere!
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