Better
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Better
On this eve, I am sober. Tomorrow morning is a new chapter in my life outpatient and I get on a waiting list for inpatient.
I don't know what to think, I am worried I am going to mess up another opportunity.
The night has fallen, its dark here, I am left with my thoughts, all the things I've done and anxiety and depression. I look around a wrecked house, half burnt cigarettes every where a genuine mess. Its not a good environment, its like looking at years of destruction and despair. The results of bad decisions and addiction.
Tomorrow comes a new day, light and a chance in outpatient and resources. Not sure I can handle another relapse or deal with anymore damage, so this time I am going to really listen and focus on what they say and use every tool they have.
I want and need to get better, this place in my life is horrible, it sickening and I wish it on nobody. Nobody and I mean nobody should live like this, latching on to some hope. Its time for a better me, a better place and a new life.
I am glad I have this chance, I was thinking tonight so many of our addicted brethren have fallen, if you've been on SR for anytime you see lots of it. I need to learn a lesson from them, and do the next right thing. I need to honor those that came before me, lest I become just another statistic.
Sad right, but there is hope there, a lot of hope there, personal reflection and a chance to change things. So with that, I look forward to outpatient and inpatient once it becomes available.
Better was my title and better is what I am going to accomplish, I am going to accomplish my dreams and stop fighting. Oh how much I have fought, time to realize I don't have the answers and humbly ask for help an receive the help offered. No more dark night, no more despair, grief, depression, I am done.
Good night all.
I don't know what to think, I am worried I am going to mess up another opportunity.
The night has fallen, its dark here, I am left with my thoughts, all the things I've done and anxiety and depression. I look around a wrecked house, half burnt cigarettes every where a genuine mess. Its not a good environment, its like looking at years of destruction and despair. The results of bad decisions and addiction.
Tomorrow comes a new day, light and a chance in outpatient and resources. Not sure I can handle another relapse or deal with anymore damage, so this time I am going to really listen and focus on what they say and use every tool they have.
I want and need to get better, this place in my life is horrible, it sickening and I wish it on nobody. Nobody and I mean nobody should live like this, latching on to some hope. Its time for a better me, a better place and a new life.
I am glad I have this chance, I was thinking tonight so many of our addicted brethren have fallen, if you've been on SR for anytime you see lots of it. I need to learn a lesson from them, and do the next right thing. I need to honor those that came before me, lest I become just another statistic.
Sad right, but there is hope there, a lot of hope there, personal reflection and a chance to change things. So with that, I look forward to outpatient and inpatient once it becomes available.
Better was my title and better is what I am going to accomplish, I am going to accomplish my dreams and stop fighting. Oh how much I have fought, time to realize I don't have the answers and humbly ask for help an receive the help offered. No more dark night, no more despair, grief, depression, I am done.
Good night all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Dont think I've ever heard you speak with such clarity, composure & humble conviction. I truly hope this is it for you & that you are on your way to finding peace & happiness - for yourself first & then (hopefully) for your family.
Good luck, TDG.
Good luck, TDG.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Finally, some clarity. So great to see, Jeremy. You deserve this.
Good things happen when you give up the fight and accept the help. Let us know your experience in outpatient, won't you ? x
Good things happen when you give up the fight and accept the help. Let us know your experience in outpatient, won't you ? x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
This is definitely one of the best posts I've read from you on SR. It reminds me a lot of my own thoughts, feelings and attitude just when I quit in January, probably in a similar phase of the detox when I started to feel a bit better being sober for a couple days, reflecting on where I was and where I wanted to go. Keep this attitude up, Jeremy and set your focus sharply on the process you will need to go though for your recovery, nothing else. If you do that, I think you can make it work.
Good luck for today, how exciting
Good luck for today, how exciting
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Jeremy, it takes too much energy to keep fighting against help and I am so glad you see that now. I am so happy that you are starting your outpatient therapy today. We will all be there with you in spirit. Let us know how it goes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,857
Originally Posted by HeartsAfire 
Dont think I've ever heard you speak with such clarity, composure & humble conviction. I truly hope this is it for you & that you are on your way to finding peace & happiness - for yourself first & then (hopefully) for your family.
Good luck, TDG.
Good luck, TDG.
Today's the day. Today's YOUR day.
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