mistory5

Around 10pm I'll be without a drink for 3 days . Let me share that first. In the past I dabbled in a lil AA and remember talk of people who r active alcoholics have issues with holding on to resentments which they choose to drink over. Now the reason I'm bringing this up is I'm really serious about not drinking anymore- its hell on earth and I need to start reaching out to others who have been there done that. Well anyway I caught my self catching a or gaining resentment over someone misunderstanding my response to their txt asking me if I needed a ride to church. In the txt I said yes but immediatley started asking questions about the activity at church because I forgot about it. (Of course I forgotvabout it I've been drunk for the last 2 weeks) well anyway I'm waiting for her to show up I notice its getting closer t time she should be at my house. Finally txt her she txt back saying i thought your txt ment you weren't going. Well I got sort of angry spouting all kind of negative statements in my head. You knowvthings like: she didn't wanr to pick me up, she doesn't care about me, she's full of it, I'm never going to church with her again, oh she must be trying to hook up with some man at church. It went on and on and the worst thought of all : how will I deal with snubs like this without a drink! Well that's what I need you sr folks help me with. If I'm thinking like this over something like this incident what in the world am I going to do whin stuff really hits the fan?
Please help me understand how to disassociate a resentment/anger with time to drink!

Dee74

You get better with time mistory.

As I stay sober I got a far better idea of who I was and my emotional dependence on how other people treated me got a lot less - I now longer look to others to validate me.

If I'm not sure my text was received correctly these days I'll send another one, no big deal - and I no longer bring everything back to me...it's not always about me

Having support and people to talk to helps too.

It's early days - it's day 3 - you're doing great
D

mistory5

Thx D! I was kinda wondering if newly not drinking was making me even more thin skinned. The good thing . I didn't use it as an excuse to drink!

JanieJ

Mistory, you' re feeling raw at the moment, it will get better.

Yes, I was very irritable when I first stopped drinking, give it time hun.

You are doing so great ! You didn't drink ! That is such an acheivement ,well done.

fini

mistory,
totally usual in early days to be super-sensitive. i was super-sensitive when still getting drunk, too.
today i had a coffee-date with a real-life sober pal at noon. as i sat there, sipping delicious americano, watching people, i had no thoughts about the fact he wasn't showing up, except that something must have prevented him. i was just fine, enjoyed a rather serene and calm, peaceful half-hour, ran my errands and went home.
him not showing up without a doubt had nothing to do with me.

when newly sober, i would have read it very differently.

i came home to a long apologetic message on my answering machine.

all this to say that things will get easier. it won't all be sandpaper rubbing an open wound. keep going. it will dip and sometimes flatten and sometimes get worse and then rise, but the overall trend will be upwards.

WIP17

I'm feeling the irritability myself as I'm on day 4. Feelings are raw and I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. However, I'm looking forward to my mind clearing and having clarity.

ubntubnt

I think your AV was trying to scare you into the thought that you are biting off too much and that you can always lean on it to support you with a drink. Just don't drink....ever...the thoughts and these misunderstandings will soon resolve themselves I think.
I am going though exactly the same right now.
click through this link by clicking next....it was really good for me..
https://rational.org/index.php?id=36

desypete

your already starting to see how you react to things so thats a good place to start to learn how to not react to things

there could be a 100 and 1 reasons people can let us down but for some reason i would always think of the worse reasons and then get angry inside myself over it as if its the truth when in fact its just what my head makes up

in time and after reacting a lot in bad ways i would soon learn how not to but i needed the help of my sponsor here and also other aa memebers who would steer my thinking to the way i should be seeing things rather than what i think i can see

there is a huge difference between the 2 things even today i can still do it but i have that moment were i think, think, think, before i react

by the time i am having my 3rd thought i am able to see things a little bit differently than my first thought would be