I've been goin to meetings a lot
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 181
I've been goin to meetings a lot
I think to get this thing and not just be a dry drunk you need to do all that crap, fellowship and big book stuff
But god I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have rather been halfway through an 18 pack instead of that boring meeting, Jesus
No matter how many meetings I go to i still want to drink. I have too many safety nets in place preventing me from truly hitting a bottom.
But god I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have rather been halfway through an 18 pack instead of that boring meeting, Jesus
No matter how many meetings I go to i still want to drink. I have too many safety nets in place preventing me from truly hitting a bottom.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by soberbrah 
No matter how many meetings I go to i still want to drink.
On the flip side, there are alternatives to AA. You might want to have a look - but if AAs working so far, it's working so far. Only you know.
Congrats on staying sober. It gets easier. Truly.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
You're doing great, Soberbrah.
There are recovery programmes other than AA ,maybe one of those would work better for you.
Some descriptions here:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
There are recovery programmes other than AA ,maybe one of those would work better for you.
Some descriptions here:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
How long have you been sober? I think that the cravings are a physiological component of the addicted brain, simply going to tons of meetings won't make them disappear within a short time for people who are prone to them or get them intensely. I was one of those, had monster cravings most days for the first 2-3 months. Now in retrospect I sometimes think it was even good in a way that I had those cravings... they made me live in constant fear of relapsing for a while so I was super vigilant. Some people apparently don't experience these after quitting, or not too badly, but for me they were awful. Healthy lifestyle, developing new rewarding activities, and time can make them go away in my experience. And yeah, like others suggested, try new things, you can still keep going to meetings in parallel. It gets so much easier with time!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by soberbrah
I think to get this thing and not just be a dry drunk you need to do all that crap, fellowship and big book stuff:
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
nothing wrong in being a dry drunk, infact we were all and some still are a dry drunk but there still sober so in with a shout : )
keep coming back and see if it will grow on you
i do understand how hard it is if you have deep safety nets that will keep you afloat etc
for me i had nothing left so people told me i had it easy when it came to accepting my position
i believe it to as when i came in there was nothing left to lose and all the blame was on the booze were it belonged
if only i had come to aa sooner while i still had my business and kids and home etc
but i didnt i carried on drinking hopeing one day i could just stop or i would put off trying to stop drinking until tomorrow or when i finished my last case of booze
i know just how lucky i am really to still be here with how the drink got me in the end but if it wasnt for those people who do attend the aa meetings and them being there ready to help me well i wouldnt be here today
i have no idea if there dry drunks or not because they go to meetings but i am so glad they were there for me
keep coming back and see if it will grow on you
i do understand how hard it is if you have deep safety nets that will keep you afloat etc
for me i had nothing left so people told me i had it easy when it came to accepting my position
i believe it to as when i came in there was nothing left to lose and all the blame was on the booze were it belonged
if only i had come to aa sooner while i still had my business and kids and home etc
but i didnt i carried on drinking hopeing one day i could just stop or i would put off trying to stop drinking until tomorrow or when i finished my last case of booze
i know just how lucky i am really to still be here with how the drink got me in the end but if it wasnt for those people who do attend the aa meetings and them being there ready to help me well i wouldnt be here today
i have no idea if there dry drunks or not because they go to meetings but i am so glad they were there for me
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by soberbrah
I think to get this thing and not just be a dry drunk you need to do all that crap, fellowship and big book stuff
But god I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have rather been halfway through an 18 pack instead of that boring meeting, Jesus
No matter how many meetings I go to i still want to drink. I have too many safety nets in place preventing me from truly hitting a bottom.
But god I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have rather been halfway through an 18 pack instead of that boring meeting, Jesus
No matter how many meetings I go to i still want to drink. I have too many safety nets in place preventing me from truly hitting a bottom.
Though they scoffed, may they still remain to pray......
You'll get there - one day, a light will turn on. If you're sober, they won't be the blue kind
Keep coming back.......
FlyN
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by soberbrah
I am literally salivating at the thought of a coors light
I discovered a stray beer in the fridge over the weekend. Looked at it for a bit, then tossed it. Told my wife about it. She asked if I was tempted?!
Ah, no - what the hell would I do with one beer??!!! I replayed the tape......get a couple six packs of some craft beer. Drink those - the first couple would be nice. Then bewilderment - heart rate accelerating - It wouldn't slow me down. The first six would be dead. I'd be into the 8th or 9th thinking I better go get some more before I run out........
Blah, blah , blah...... it always end the same way.
You can do this if you choose.
Hope you do and you stay with us friend.
FlyN
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Ride it out my brah. The craving will pass. You sound like you need to reevaluate your plan because these meetings are not stimulating you. Is it the meetings, the people? You are putting the effort by going so I want the energy of your efforts to be spent right.
You are doing great and working at it. Don't lose sight of what your really want!
You are doing great and working at it. Don't lose sight of what your really want!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Hi,
Just a some thoughts from my personal perspective:
1) You are something like 20 days sober, give yourself a break a lot of the "cravings" are still physiological. For some people the obsession to drink is lifted immediately while for others it can take a while. The thing is that the longer you go not drinking, the milder it will get.
2) I don't believe in dry drunks. I have met too many people who are not alcoholic and behave like dry drunks. I also know some people (like my godfather 30 plus years clean and sober) who don't go to meetings, don't do AA and have quality recovery.
You are not a dry drunk but.....see 1
3) Meeting makers make....meetings. They can be very nice and a way to do 12th step work, get some face to face support, find a sponsor and make new friends but it is NOT the AA program. The AA program is the Steps which are described in the reading "How It Works" that we read at the beginning of meetings.
Are you working the steps (doing the program)?
4)
Don't get too cocky about that... I know many people who had all those "safety nets" until the "safety nets" got sick and tired of their BS.. If you don't believe me, read a little bit in the Friends and Family forum and see what happens when the "safety net" start to detach from the alcoholic. Furthermore, you can hit bottom mentally and also physically (health or hurting/killing someone).
Some people's bottom can be very swift: 6 feet under and there is really no "safety net" against that.
5) If you don't click with AA, there are other very good alternatives. Just be aware that whatever you do, you will have to give it 100%
Just a some thoughts from my personal perspective:
1) You are something like 20 days sober, give yourself a break a lot of the "cravings" are still physiological. For some people the obsession to drink is lifted immediately while for others it can take a while. The thing is that the longer you go not drinking, the milder it will get.
2) I don't believe in dry drunks. I have met too many people who are not alcoholic and behave like dry drunks. I also know some people (like my godfather 30 plus years clean and sober) who don't go to meetings, don't do AA and have quality recovery.
You are not a dry drunk but.....see 1
3) Meeting makers make....meetings. They can be very nice and a way to do 12th step work, get some face to face support, find a sponsor and make new friends but it is NOT the AA program. The AA program is the Steps which are described in the reading "How It Works" that we read at the beginning of meetings.
Are you working the steps (doing the program)?
4)
I have too many safety nets in place preventing me from truly hitting a bottom.
Some people's bottom can be very swift: 6 feet under and there is really no "safety net" against that.
5) If you don't click with AA, there are other very good alternatives. Just be aware that whatever you do, you will have to give it 100%
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 181
Yea the meetings I go to don't do anything for me for the most part, I have a tough time relating to most, but I feel like that's a common cop out
I always wuss out and dont get a sponsor, idk why maybe deep down it's me hoping that maybe just maybe I have another shot at this thing(salvage my drinking career)
I then am motivated to dry out because drinking in my broken down state wouldn't be enjoyable anyways, so I dry out, maybe hit some meetings to pass time or scope out talent, then I'm settled in to white knuckle mode and dedicate myself to health and fitness. A large motivating factor behind the hardcore health and fitness kick is drinking. I'm working out in order to look and feel better when I drink. When the time comes and I am ready it is time to drink again. I get to a point where I am really well put together, I am the man for about 45 minutes, on top of the world, and then it all crumbles. Fast forward five days I'm pacing around apartment in a bathrobe with a bottle of jack in my hand looking like a bumb. Two days later I'll end up in a church basement, rinse repeat.
I get waves of motivation to dive into the program head first and never look back, but then I'll have the other side come over me. I'll be at a meeting listening to this lady ramble about the second step, all of which makes sense and is cool, but I just cannot be bothered by it. I think to myself are you freaking kidding me. This is what my life is going to consist of? And then I think about a cooler of ice cold coors lights. The colds beads of water on the side of the ice cold can. That luscious smell just welcoming me, telling me everything's gunna be okay in 12 ounces. I weigh the sobriety and listening to step lady vs 45 minutes of glory and insanity. The more I think about it it goes from sobriety being best, to maybe a push, to id have to be out of my mind to deprive myself of that alcoholic nectar.
I always wuss out and dont get a sponsor, idk why maybe deep down it's me hoping that maybe just maybe I have another shot at this thing(salvage my drinking career)
I then am motivated to dry out because drinking in my broken down state wouldn't be enjoyable anyways, so I dry out, maybe hit some meetings to pass time or scope out talent, then I'm settled in to white knuckle mode and dedicate myself to health and fitness. A large motivating factor behind the hardcore health and fitness kick is drinking. I'm working out in order to look and feel better when I drink. When the time comes and I am ready it is time to drink again. I get to a point where I am really well put together, I am the man for about 45 minutes, on top of the world, and then it all crumbles. Fast forward five days I'm pacing around apartment in a bathrobe with a bottle of jack in my hand looking like a bumb. Two days later I'll end up in a church basement, rinse repeat.
I get waves of motivation to dive into the program head first and never look back, but then I'll have the other side come over me. I'll be at a meeting listening to this lady ramble about the second step, all of which makes sense and is cool, but I just cannot be bothered by it. I think to myself are you freaking kidding me. This is what my life is going to consist of? And then I think about a cooler of ice cold coors lights. The colds beads of water on the side of the ice cold can. That luscious smell just welcoming me, telling me everything's gunna be okay in 12 ounces. I weigh the sobriety and listening to step lady vs 45 minutes of glory and insanity. The more I think about it it goes from sobriety being best, to maybe a push, to id have to be out of my mind to deprive myself of that alcoholic nectar.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I don't think that meetings are going to do you any good, at least until you decide to quit drinking. Even then, they are unlikely to help much until you decide to work the program.
Get the number of someone you think might be a good sponsor. Then when you are ready to quit call and tell them that you want to get serious about the steps. Why waste your time on meetings? Does it makes sense to continue to do what does not work for you?
Get the number of someone you think might be a good sponsor. Then when you are ready to quit call and tell them that you want to get serious about the steps. Why waste your time on meetings? Does it makes sense to continue to do what does not work for you?
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by soberbrah
Yea the meetings I go to don't do anything for me for the most part, I have a tough time relating to most, but I feel like that's a common cop out
I always wuss out and dont get a sponsor, idk why maybe deep down it's me hoping that maybe just maybe I have another shot at this thing(salvage my drinking career)
I then am motivated to dry out because drinking in my broken down state wouldn't be enjoyable anyways, so I dry out, maybe hit some meetings to pass time or scope out talent, then I'm settled in to white knuckle mode and dedicate myself to health and fitness. A large motivating factor behind the hardcore health and fitness kick is drinking. I'm working out in order to look and feel better when I drink. When the time comes and I am ready it is time to drink again. I get to a point where I am really well put together, I am the man for about 45 minutes, on top of the world, and then it all crumbles. Fast forward five days I'm pacing around apartment in a bathrobe with a bottle of jack in my hand looking like a bumb. Two days later I'll end up in a church basement, rinse repeat.
I get waves of motivation to dive into the program head first and never look back, but then I'll have the other side come over me. I'll be at a meeting listening to this lady ramble about the second step, all of which makes sense and is cool, but I just cannot be bothered by it. I think to myself are you freaking kidding me. This is what my life is going to consist of? And then I think about a cooler of ice cold coors lights. The colds beads of water on the side of the ice cold can. That luscious smell just welcoming me, telling me everything's gunna be okay in 12 ounces. I weigh the sobriety and listening to step lady vs 45 minutes of glory and insanity. The more I think about it it goes from sobriety being best, to maybe a push, to id have to be out of my mind to deprive myself of that alcoholic nectar.
I always wuss out and dont get a sponsor, idk why maybe deep down it's me hoping that maybe just maybe I have another shot at this thing(salvage my drinking career)
I then am motivated to dry out because drinking in my broken down state wouldn't be enjoyable anyways, so I dry out, maybe hit some meetings to pass time or scope out talent, then I'm settled in to white knuckle mode and dedicate myself to health and fitness. A large motivating factor behind the hardcore health and fitness kick is drinking. I'm working out in order to look and feel better when I drink. When the time comes and I am ready it is time to drink again. I get to a point where I am really well put together, I am the man for about 45 minutes, on top of the world, and then it all crumbles. Fast forward five days I'm pacing around apartment in a bathrobe with a bottle of jack in my hand looking like a bumb. Two days later I'll end up in a church basement, rinse repeat.
I get waves of motivation to dive into the program head first and never look back, but then I'll have the other side come over me. I'll be at a meeting listening to this lady ramble about the second step, all of which makes sense and is cool, but I just cannot be bothered by it. I think to myself are you freaking kidding me. This is what my life is going to consist of? And then I think about a cooler of ice cold coors lights. The colds beads of water on the side of the ice cold can. That luscious smell just welcoming me, telling me everything's gunna be okay in 12 ounces. I weigh the sobriety and listening to step lady vs 45 minutes of glory and insanity. The more I think about it it goes from sobriety being best, to maybe a push, to id have to be out of my mind to deprive myself of that alcoholic nectar.
for me when i first went to aa meetings people were talking about what the drink did to them so i felt i was in the right place as i was so like these people
thats what kept me coming back as i felt like i was one of them and i wanted to know more etc
try and find meetings that share about it all rather than program based steps etc as it certainly helped me big time
the steps came much later on for me but my first task was to learn how to not pick up a drink for just 1 day
i know for many who only had a small drink problem they were able to go right on with the steps as they still had a brain so to speak, but for me i was just riddled with guilt and shame and really mentally dead
all i could do was get to meetings day and night as i had no job and it got me out of an empty flat were i would be alone with my mad head
i was so lucky that i met with people who really did work there 12th step, they didnt just show up at meetings and preach and then go home they took the time to help me in so many ways keeping me company, taking me to meetings even buying me food etc
i will never forget those early days and how much i was at the mercy of others in aa and for all there help
there isnt any other organization that can beat it in my eyes for the help that i got and the best part about it was its totally free.
today i am in the lucky postion were i can spend time with new comers and take them for there first bacon butty like i had given to me : )
i just hope people dont end up like i did as i said i was lucky to get out of it all otherwise i have no doubt i would be dead today as i wouldnt of lasted long out on the streets
good luck to you and i hope you can find the help i found in aa
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by soberbrah
Yea ppl talk about what happened to them and it usually fuels my AV even more because "I wasn't that bad"
"Never did that"
"He didn't stop til that age and he made it"
"Never did that"
"He didn't stop til that age and he made it"
i never went to prison until i ended up going to prison as i never thought i was that bad yet either
i never lost my kids either until i lost my kids as i thought i wasnt that bad yet either
in fact if only i could of stopped drinking before i ever got that bad but sadly i didnt listen to the warnings and carried on drinking until i am now a fully paid up member of the i am that bad type of drunk
today i am not that bad anymore as i dont drink but if i drink i will be that bad all over again so its a no contest for me
keep what i have now = dont drink
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