AA Annoys me!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 42
AA Annoys me!
I don't know what it is but listening to other peoples stories just makes me roll my eyes. It makes me want to tell them to shut the ****up and they don't understand. Why are you so happy telling your story? Shut up.
They say how alcohol made them feel the first time they drank ect... I feel I can't relate to any of them. I feel my ideas of why I drink are very different than theirs.
Part of me thinks this might be me angry at myself but projecting those feelings on to others? I like to psychoanalyze situations.
Thoughts?
I feel so angry!
They say how alcohol made them feel the first time they drank ect... I feel I can't relate to any of them. I feel my ideas of why I drink are very different than theirs.
Part of me thinks this might be me angry at myself but projecting those feelings on to others? I like to psychoanalyze situations.
Thoughts?
I feel so angry!
Last edited by Dee74; 11-18-2014 at 01:58 PM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
LOL. So...you never liked alcohol?
Lot of us began drinking when we found out it could numb out bad memories or emotions. Then we kept drinking for other reasons. Like that it was fun for a while and helped us forget...but we got something out of it.
Lot of us began drinking when we found out it could numb out bad memories or emotions. Then we kept drinking for other reasons. Like that it was fun for a while and helped us forget...but we got something out of it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yes. Well there are a lot of those people in AA, too. Keep going back. Every meeting has a different personality.
When you said you were angry, I could really relate. I had a lot of trauma that I was able to blot out when I drank. All that anger over those past events came up with a vengeance when I got sober. The 12 Steps are designed to help you get past that anger. I hope you can find some people to talk with in AA or get a sponsor if you think you are stuck.
When you said you were angry, I could really relate. I had a lot of trauma that I was able to blot out when I drank. All that anger over those past events came up with a vengeance when I got sober. The 12 Steps are designed to help you get past that anger. I hope you can find some people to talk with in AA or get a sponsor if you think you are stuck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by hunterismia 
I'm trying to convince myself to drink right now.... ugh.
There are 2PM meetings all over Seattle - can you get to one? I'm local - PM me if you need to talk.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I got taken by car by someone from AA i walked into the room cacking my pants then it got weirder i was dishevelled broken shaking with fear and all these people who were nicely dressed chatting smiling talking eating biscuts i thought ok now im proper at the tea party i studied them they were happy and no one stared or nothing a few came up to me said hello i was like hello (i dont know you lol)
over my first ever few weeks (constantly relapsing during this time 3 months of trying) i couldnt get my head round why they wanted to talk about how raw it was i was like please can we speak about something diffrent once i even said 'were good ppl' oh im laughing at my innocence because at one point before i left the penny dropped
they never ever wanted to forget and from there on in neither did i
AA helped me in the begining and il never forget that the love i have for what AA stands for and does i respect even tho i no longer am with AA
over my first ever few weeks (constantly relapsing during this time 3 months of trying) i couldnt get my head round why they wanted to talk about how raw it was i was like please can we speak about something diffrent once i even said 'were good ppl' oh im laughing at my innocence because at one point before i left the penny dropped
they never ever wanted to forget and from there on in neither did i
AA helped me in the begining and il never forget that the love i have for what AA stands for and does i respect even tho i no longer am with AA
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
You have a week under your belt now Hunterismia...don't throw away your hard work. Drinking will only make you feel worse.
Stop looking for the differences and instead look for the similarities in the stories you hear in meetings. Perhaps you should try some different types of meetings or a different location.
The reason those folks are so happy is because they have lived through the alcoholic lifestyle and are now sober. When you have more time sober, you will understand.
Have you started reading the first 162 pages of the Big Book yet?
Stop looking for the differences and instead look for the similarities in the stories you hear in meetings. Perhaps you should try some different types of meetings or a different location.
The reason those folks are so happy is because they have lived through the alcoholic lifestyle and are now sober. When you have more time sober, you will understand.
Have you started reading the first 162 pages of the Big Book yet?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Sometimes I think that realizing that we have 'paid the price for admission or membership' can be a very difficult thing to accept and a very bitter pill to swallow.
You might be onto something by recognizing that you are angry. I was very angry, too, although the anger was directed at myself. Realizing that I had allowed myself to be consumed by alcohol sent me deep into self-loathing and into an abyss of darkness and despair.
Maybe try, if you can, and take a step back and look at your anger. Recognizing the true source of my anger was part of the healing process.
I haven't been to AA but I have been in other support groups (child loss bereavement groups) and I think that it is common, at first, to look for differences in our experiences (to make us think that we don't really belong - part of denial, maybe) instead of looking for commonalities.
I suspect that, if you keep attending the meetings, you will eventually find them therapeutic; you could also seek out other meetings.
You might be onto something by recognizing that you are angry. I was very angry, too, although the anger was directed at myself. Realizing that I had allowed myself to be consumed by alcohol sent me deep into self-loathing and into an abyss of darkness and despair.
Maybe try, if you can, and take a step back and look at your anger. Recognizing the true source of my anger was part of the healing process.
I haven't been to AA but I have been in other support groups (child loss bereavement groups) and I think that it is common, at first, to look for differences in our experiences (to make us think that we don't really belong - part of denial, maybe) instead of looking for commonalities.
I suspect that, if you keep attending the meetings, you will eventually find them therapeutic; you could also seek out other meetings.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I drank for the same reasons.
Emotional turmoil and pain = bye bye crappy feelings (Glug Glug Glug)
Your feelings that you might be projecting?
Pretty accurate self diagnosis I'd say.
I used to wonder how on earth AA members could be happy about not drinking?
But they are.... Would you like to be happy about it too one day?
Keep fronting up and you can be
Emotional turmoil and pain = bye bye crappy feelings (Glug Glug Glug)
Your feelings that you might be projecting?
Pretty accurate self diagnosis I'd say.
I used to wonder how on earth AA members could be happy about not drinking?
But they are.... Would you like to be happy about it too one day?
Keep fronting up and you can be
Gl@ss Artist & Cat Lady
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 880
Originally Posted by Try18
Try and keep an open mind. Judging other people will just make it more difficult for yourself.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Please keep an open mind while you consider what follows.
Consider that the anger is there before you attribute a cause to it.
When I was just a few days sober I was in the middle of a swirl of emotions. Much of it was anger. This did not make sense to me, so I needed to find a 'cause' for how I felt. It was a case of anger in search of a target. I latched onto any 'cause' I could find, because this anger could not possibly be caused by ME! Yet it was. It had to do with the physical effects of withdrawal from alcohol, along with my expectations about how things should be.
You are going to wish to calm the emotions with a drink. DON'T. Walk through this. It will eventually pass and you won't have to ever do it again.
Consider that the anger is there before you attribute a cause to it.
When I was just a few days sober I was in the middle of a swirl of emotions. Much of it was anger. This did not make sense to me, so I needed to find a 'cause' for how I felt. It was a case of anger in search of a target. I latched onto any 'cause' I could find, because this anger could not possibly be caused by ME! Yet it was. It had to do with the physical effects of withdrawal from alcohol, along with my expectations about how things should be.
You are going to wish to calm the emotions with a drink. DON'T. Walk through this. It will eventually pass and you won't have to ever do it again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Sometimes I think that realizing that we have 'paid the price for admission or membership' can be a very difficult thing to accept and a very bitter pill to swallow.
You might be onto something by recognizing that you are angry. I was very angry, too, although the anger was directed at myself. Realizing that I had allowed myself to be consumed by alcohol sent me deep into self-loathing and into an abyss of darkness and despair.
Maybe try, if you can, and take a step back and look at your anger. Recognizing the true source of my anger was part of the healing process.
I haven't been to AA but I have been in other support groups (child loss bereavement groups) and I think that it is common, at first, to look for differences in our experiences (to make us think that we don't really belong - part of denial, maybe) instead of looking for commonalities.
I suspect that, if you keep attending the meetings, you will eventually find them therapeutic; you could also seek out other meetings.
You might be onto something by recognizing that you are angry. I was very angry, too, although the anger was directed at myself. Realizing that I had allowed myself to be consumed by alcohol sent me deep into self-loathing and into an abyss of darkness and despair.
Maybe try, if you can, and take a step back and look at your anger. Recognizing the true source of my anger was part of the healing process.
I haven't been to AA but I have been in other support groups (child loss bereavement groups) and I think that it is common, at first, to look for differences in our experiences (to make us think that we don't really belong - part of denial, maybe) instead of looking for commonalities.
I suspect that, if you keep attending the meetings, you will eventually find them therapeutic; you could also seek out other meetings.
Debt, I wanted to be graduated from college or in graduate school by now. I wanted to be on my own living in my own apartment. I hate alcohol. I hate it so much.
I wish I could punch myself in the face. I know alcohol will only make it worse... unfortunately. I just want to be numb.
It's better to feel angry than to feel numb though...
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I can relate hunterismia. Some days AA annoys me too. And happy people. Annoying. I get it.
I just celebrated 6 years of sobriety. Thank goodness for AA. Seriously.
It sounds like you're in the right place. It really does get better. It really does.
I just celebrated 6 years of sobriety. Thank goodness for AA. Seriously.
It sounds like you're in the right place. It really does get better. It really does.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I remember being angry and cynical when I stopped drinking lots of times.
What I didn't realise then was the long term effects of alcohol on me - even tho I was technically sober my perception and my world view stayed skewed...
I was never actually sober enough for that to go away except for the last time, and it took a few months.
You're on the right road hunterismia. Don't doubt it
D
What I didn't realise then was the long term effects of alcohol on me - even tho I was technically sober my perception and my world view stayed skewed...
I was never actually sober enough for that to go away except for the last time, and it took a few months.
You're on the right road hunterismia. Don't doubt it
D
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Its better to calmly solve a problem with friends and feel better afterwards here
I felt like you then i started sorting out my problems 1by1 rather than taking on the mountain i blew it up and took it on piece by piece soon enough there was no mountain of problems
listen to this song very fitting
http://youtu.be/ADP65wbBUpc
I felt like you then i started sorting out my problems 1by1 rather than taking on the mountain i blew it up and took it on piece by piece soon enough there was no mountain of problems
listen to this song very fitting
http://youtu.be/ADP65wbBUpc
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