IWantFree

Hello...

Day one again... I've lurked about the site for a while and even started posting about 2 years ago, but stopped. I had quite a bad relapse again and after drinking some last night to try and calm the withdrawal, I'm struggling through my day at work, but least the shaking and sweating have stopped.

I'm due to start Naltrexone shortly to see if I can get over the relapses. I've been in an outpatient treatment - counselling and support worker - for about a year after a DUI at the start of this year. As usual, everything started with dinner for a colleague, one very civilised evening feeling normal quickly turned into time off work, drinking half bottles of vodka and scoth and couple of bottles of wine. It get's me so quickly. I did some pretty awful stuff this time, and I will lose everything if I let it continue.

Anyway, I'm back with my key worker tomorrow... Starting all over again. You all probably know how wretched and ashamed I'm feeling right now. I just wanted to reach out and feeling like I was doing something positive about getting back in control.

Thanks all.

biminiblue

We're very glad you are back.

If I can do it, you can do it.

Turn it around. Everything will be better soon.

JT0626

Glad you are back & getting the help you need, there's no shame in that! Take care of you & keep posting here. (((hugs)))

IWantFree

Thanks JT... I'm just tired of repeating the same behaviour over and over.... Knowing what will happen and almost wanting it to... I get very self destructive when I'm drunk. I'm also pretty ashamed about what I did during this recent binge... I need to let it go, otherwise I'll just feed off it and never get well.

Resolv

Congratulations on your new life. Be well.

Soberwolf

Welcome basck iwantfree welcome bk to the forum & welcome bk to SR

Nice to meet you

luvmygirls

Welcome back, IWantFree. It sounds like you have some good support, and I'm sure posting here frequently will help, too. I'm familiar with "civilized" drinking one night, only to quickly return to old habits. We are here to support you. Take good care.

IWantFree

Made it through the day's work. The withdrawal symptoms have eased, no more shaking and I had better concentration by the afternoon. I just have a nasty post nasal drip... anyone else get this? Probably related to the heartburn and gastritis I get when I detox. It should pass.

I have a meeting with my key worker lined up for the morning and nothing in the house, so I'm nearly through day 1. Thanks guys!

SoberLeigh

Glad that you came back and posted, IWantFree, and that you are reaching out to your support systems.

Rooting for you.

biminiblue

The first couple weeks are tough, no two ways around it.

We've all got some things we've done of which we are not proud. Can't unring the bell, as they say.

Onward and upward.

Treerat66

Hi and welcome back IWantFree.

IWantFree

Made it... Though it's night sweats time!

Thanks everyone... Night!

Anna

Welcome back and good for you for getting through Day 1.

Try to not get overwhelmed with things.

Dee74

Welcome back Iwantfree

D

IWantFree

I'm going to try and record what this feels like. It's too easy to forget as I get better.

Sweaty, then chills in bed... Can't sleep, mouth sore and dry, tongue still tender. Throat sore and post nasal drip, probably from the irritation to my stomach.

Managed about an hour of sleep, woke up with crawling skin and body shock. Bit more sweating which has died off now. Going to take some painkillers for my throat.

I don't want to upset anyone with this, I just need to remember it.

Sleep well folks...

Secondhance

Congrats on the decision IWantFree!!!

I too am going down this road again, last night was night one for me. I got little to now sleep as well but feel surprisingly good today. Excited to start this new chapter.

Feel free to PM me if you are ever feeling down and can't sleep.