nervous about 1st meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 42
nervous about 1st meeting
Hi All, I am coming to realize that I am an alcoholic. I've been putting off getting sober for years. I had a thought today as I was dropping my son off at daycare, "what am I waiting for?". Am I waiting for a catastrophe to open my eyes?
At the same time I'm noticing the challenge of "where to start?". I'm hesitant to go to local meetings as I am recognized in my area for the business I am in and I don't want to see anyone I know.
Thinking about private counseling but it is hard to search out a good one. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. thanks in advance
At the same time I'm noticing the challenge of "where to start?". I'm hesitant to go to local meetings as I am recognized in my area for the business I am in and I don't want to see anyone I know.
Thinking about private counseling but it is hard to search out a good one. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. thanks in advance
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
If you see someone you know they are there for the same reason you are.
I would look for a beginners meeting. Try to show up a little early and if you can, leave yourself time to stay after for a bit.
Walking into AA was the best thing I ever did for myself. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
If you don’t want to go alone you can contact your local AA office and they can send someone over to pick you up or to meet you at a meeting. Sometimes it is just easier to have someone with you.
Good luck. Willingness and an open mind goes a long way.
I would look for a beginners meeting. Try to show up a little early and if you can, leave yourself time to stay after for a bit.
Walking into AA was the best thing I ever did for myself. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
If you don’t want to go alone you can contact your local AA office and they can send someone over to pick you up or to meet you at a meeting. Sometimes it is just easier to have someone with you.
Good luck. Willingness and an open mind goes a long way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, David.
There is a wealth of information on this site on alcoholism and programs/methods/ tools for achieving and maintaining sobriety.
Glad you found SR, David; you will find support, understanding and encouragement here.
There is a wealth of information on this site on alcoholism and programs/methods/ tools for achieving and maintaining sobriety.
Glad you found SR, David; you will find support, understanding and encouragement here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 42
thanks everyone. there is a beginner meeting tomorrow at 12:15 that I plan on going to. Additionally, I'll spend time looking over the information offered here. Would anyone suggest me reaching out to a private counseling center/therapist as well?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 223
I felt the same way as I am very active in the community and work in mental health but don't let that keep u away. U would be surprised at how many prominent members of the community are in the program. I suggest a beginners meeting or a Speaker meeting. If u wait u might be walking in there after a catastrophe occurs and then u will wish u had gone sooner! Good luck!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
one thing that stands out to me is
how would you feel should you do something wrong and there is a disaster like you being arrested or something like that ?
your name would go into the local paper so everyone would know, it hapend to me when i was running my own business and i ended up getting done for drink driving, i couldnt hide it from anyone in the world
it cost me my business in the end and a hell of a lot more, how i wished i would of done something about my drinking sooner rather than later
but hind sight is easy
the wisdom comes from learning from other peoples mistakes
i hope you do end up going to a meeting i know its hard but everyone else is there for the same reason and even if you know anyone they will be just happy to see you there
good luck to you
how would you feel should you do something wrong and there is a disaster like you being arrested or something like that ?
your name would go into the local paper so everyone would know, it hapend to me when i was running my own business and i ended up getting done for drink driving, i couldnt hide it from anyone in the world
it cost me my business in the end and a hell of a lot more, how i wished i would of done something about my drinking sooner rather than later
but hind sight is easy
the wisdom comes from learning from other peoples mistakes
i hope you do end up going to a meeting i know its hard but everyone else is there for the same reason and even if you know anyone they will be just happy to see you there
good luck to you
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Toronto
Posts: 27
David,
I am in the same boat. I am a professional in my mid 40 and sadly an alcoholic. I have been sober for 9 days now and it has not been easy. Last week I went to my first meeting. I was also scared to death to see someone I knew there. I am very involved in my community so I was scared! I went to a meeting far from my area and still was very anxious as I was waiting in the car before going in. I got a grip on myself and went. I had doubt about AA and the God thing (and still have) but what I found was that everyone was extremely welcoming and the don't judge!.
The next day, I went to a meeting 10 minutes from my house and it was even better as I found it easier to relate to people from my area (didn't recognized anyone!). I am still not sold on the AA mentality but I am reading the big book and giving it a chance as for me the most important is to find welcoming people who are going through a similar situation. In this regard, SR is also a great place for me.
My advice is give it a try for a few time, we have nothing to lose!!!!
I am in the same boat. I am a professional in my mid 40 and sadly an alcoholic. I have been sober for 9 days now and it has not been easy. Last week I went to my first meeting. I was also scared to death to see someone I knew there. I am very involved in my community so I was scared! I went to a meeting far from my area and still was very anxious as I was waiting in the car before going in. I got a grip on myself and went. I had doubt about AA and the God thing (and still have) but what I found was that everyone was extremely welcoming and the don't judge!.
The next day, I went to a meeting 10 minutes from my house and it was even better as I found it easier to relate to people from my area (didn't recognized anyone!). I am still not sold on the AA mentality but I am reading the big book and giving it a chance as for me the most important is to find welcoming people who are going through a similar situation. In this regard, SR is also a great place for me.
My advice is give it a try for a few time, we have nothing to lose!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Ojai, CA
Posts: 137
Can pretty much guarantee no one is "comfortable" walking into their first few AA meetings. It is just a nerve wracking exercise, no getting around it..but ends up being really cool. As far as seeing someone you know, umm, well they would be there for the same thing right? Also, I have said this before on this forum but will say again..we alcoholics are a funny bunch as we will risk driving drunk, buy booze at the liquor store drunk, risk getting drunk at public functions, (weddings etc.) walk around bleary eyed and hungover, but god forbid anyone see us getting help... Best to you in your journey, it is a awesome endeavor.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Addiction is nothing new. It's been around
for years and it doesn't seem to want to
let up. It's shows no mercy on folks whether
old or young.
When I first started going to meetings,
everyone I looked at were strangers. Then
the more meetings I went to I began to
recognize faces, then their names, then
their stories and before long I felt like I
belong.
It was always comforting to me to
sit by someone I recognize in meetings.
Folks that I had something in common
with all learning how to remain sober
each day that comes along.
All those strangers I was so afraid of
or scared of in the beginning have now
become part of my recovery family and
support.
There are many folks out in the world
that have no idea what addiction is because
they don't have a problem with it. I always
say that it takes ones with an addiction to
know one. These people who are working
on a solution provided to them to help them
not drink or use each day are the very ones
that understand me as I them.
We can relate. We have been there, done
many of the same similar things in life when
under the enfluence. Just knowing Im not
alone in my recovery and never have to
go thru anything in life alone again, is comforting.
It must be working cause Ive been hanging
around AA for 24 yrs. now and not letting
go anytime soon.
for years and it doesn't seem to want to
let up. It's shows no mercy on folks whether
old or young.
When I first started going to meetings,
everyone I looked at were strangers. Then
the more meetings I went to I began to
recognize faces, then their names, then
their stories and before long I felt like I
belong.
It was always comforting to me to
sit by someone I recognize in meetings.
Folks that I had something in common
with all learning how to remain sober
each day that comes along.
All those strangers I was so afraid of
or scared of in the beginning have now
become part of my recovery family and
support.
There are many folks out in the world
that have no idea what addiction is because
they don't have a problem with it. I always
say that it takes ones with an addiction to
know one. These people who are working
on a solution provided to them to help them
not drink or use each day are the very ones
that understand me as I them.
We can relate. We have been there, done
many of the same similar things in life when
under the enfluence. Just knowing Im not
alone in my recovery and never have to
go thru anything in life alone again, is comforting.
It must be working cause Ive been hanging
around AA for 24 yrs. now and not letting
go anytime soon.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by David79 
Would anyone suggest me reaching out to a private counseling center/therapist as well?
Counselling before therapy would be my advice.
My experience was that .... start digging around with a therapist & you can dig up some painful stuff with them.
If emotional pain is a motivator for a drink ?
Maybe wait till you've got support around you, counsellor / peer support / doctor etc ....... people who can help you see a drink is just a temporary solution, before you start digging around with a therapist.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
This may be an alternative for you. Once you understand it, you can decide if it is something you may wish to consider. Otherwise, you'll have to overcome your fear of being outed from going to an aa meeting.
This may be an alternative for you. Once you understand it, you can decide if it is something you may wish to consider. Otherwise, you'll have to overcome your fear of being outed from going to an aa meeting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 93
I would strongly recommend going to that meeting. Fear of someone recognizing me kept me from going for a long time (almost four years). During that time, my drinking got progressively worse to the point of reaching an absolute crisis.
I am well known in my community. I appear on local TV, etc., and I knew that people would recognize me when I went, and I was sickened by that. Guess what? No one judged me. No one made me feel like a failure for being a public figure with a problem. I got nothing but an outpouring of support and understanding.
I was so resistant to AA for so long, but I now see I desperately need the accountability.
P.S. If it helps, there are a lot of "secret addicts." Addiction doesn't discriminate. One of the first people I met in AA was a surgeon who was terrified of the program because she thought she though it would ruin her career. You'll find yourself in the rooms with doctors, lawyers, business people, local celebrities, personal trainers, waiters, valedictorians, grocery clerks, Starbucks baristas, musicians, pastors, and on and on. Every area of society is touched by this disease. Every. Single. One.
I am well known in my community. I appear on local TV, etc., and I knew that people would recognize me when I went, and I was sickened by that. Guess what? No one judged me. No one made me feel like a failure for being a public figure with a problem. I got nothing but an outpouring of support and understanding.
I was so resistant to AA for so long, but I now see I desperately need the accountability.
P.S. If it helps, there are a lot of "secret addicts." Addiction doesn't discriminate. One of the first people I met in AA was a surgeon who was terrified of the program because she thought she though it would ruin her career. You'll find yourself in the rooms with doctors, lawyers, business people, local celebrities, personal trainers, waiters, valedictorians, grocery clerks, Starbucks baristas, musicians, pastors, and on and on. Every area of society is touched by this disease. Every. Single. One.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
My sponsor says that AA should pay for the rights to use Nike's 'Just Do It!' saying.
I would suggest that you arrive early and stay after the meeting to chat with folks. I bet you will find that you are welcomed with open arms and several folks give you their phone numbers.
Look for the similarities and dismiss the differences.
Good Luck!
I would suggest that you arrive early and stay after the meeting to chat with folks. I bet you will find that you are welcomed with open arms and several folks give you their phone numbers.
Look for the similarities and dismiss the differences.
Good Luck!
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