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Husband currently in rehab...afraid to let him come home

Old 11-16-2014, 03:22 PM
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Question Husband currently in rehab...afraid to let him come home

My husband has 11 days left until
He is scheduled to come home. We have 3 children 10,8 and 4. Been married for 12 years, he has been drinking the whole time. I finally got him to go get help. Problem is, before he left I told him we were separated. I am afraid to allow him back home. He had never hurt me or the kids, but I am afraid I am not the support he needs. I am still very angry and upset. We have been to visit him 2 times and I cry each time... He says since he has no where to go, he will go to a sober house in Florida. We live in Delaware. Do I let him come home? Do I stand my ground? I told him we are not getting back together until
He can prove he is sober, has a job and can take care of us. What do I do??
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Old 11-16-2014, 03:41 PM
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Hi Naps.

Most rehabs offer couples/family counseling. They have a pretty good idea of where the person is at in their recovery, and can help you and your husband with this transition. All you need to do is ask.

Failing that, you could contact a professional who is experienced with such matters to get the counsel you seek.

As much as people here want to help, it's virtually impossible to make an assessment at a such a distance and in the absence of important information about your relationship with your husband, and about the impact your decision in either direction would have on your children.

There is absolutely no reason to go through this alone.
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Old 11-16-2014, 03:59 PM
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I hope you can make the decision that is right for you and your family.

You might want to check out AlAnon in your area as a support for you.

And, we do have a forum here for Friends & Families which would also be useful to check out.
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Old 11-16-2014, 04:20 PM
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Welcome to the forum & to Sr

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 11-16-2014, 04:41 PM
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Find support (SR is a great choice) where you can work through this. No matter what happens in the short term, you need to find support to work towards the best possible long term scenario. It isn't just a spouse that detoxes, it's their whole family.
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Old 11-16-2014, 04:44 PM
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Napstowngirl, I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to offer you support. I'm sorry your family is going through this tough time.
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Old 11-16-2014, 04:54 PM
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There are sober living facilities where he can go to transition from rehab to living in society. He will be required to stay clean and sober. They will require that he have a job and there will be meetings to help keep him on the straight and narrow.

This might be something to consider if you aren't ready for him to come back to the family home.
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