matilda123

This weekend, someone--finally--sent me something to review that they were supposed to send me weeks ago.Of course, they need it reviewed immediately, and are in a panic. In my former drinking days, I would have bent over backwards to accommodate this person and say it was "okay," inside seething because they dropped the ball and now I was going to have to work 24/7 to try to get it done.

The sober me read that email today and thought, huh. Do I want to do that? Can I do it? I could, I suppose, but not without dropping everything else on my plate next week and feeling incredibly frustrated. So instead, I crafted a short, polite email and offered to reschedule the review.

Sounds like a small thing, but I'm so proud! The people-pleaser part of me can be the worst enemy to my sobriety.

Verte

Yes!! Thanks for sharing your small victory How great is it that you could do this for yourself?? Huge!

Nuudawn

You have every reason to be proud of yourself. Nice!

foolsgold66

I understand where you are coming from. I battle this sober, even. 25 years of corporate life has taught me that sometimes things must just fail despite my dedicated efforts, too bad, it's quittin time, I'm going to the house and enjoy living the life my job pays for.

instant

great stuff. I find in sobriety maintaining balance is important

Dee74

awesome

way to go Matilda

D

Mags1

Good for you, Matilda.

JanieJ

Not a small victory at all. A big victory. Because you were calm, and you didn't act impulsively, and you were self -assured, and your thought process was balanced.

That small act shows a whole heap of good mental attitude.

I get it. Well done

Soberwolf

Well done Matilda

LoftyIdeals

Well done, Matilda. Even the title alone of your post brought a smile to my face as I learned of this old, Polish saying just recently, and have repeated it to myself numerous times over the past month. Its all about having healthy boundaries, isn't it?

sprout50

Agree with Lofty. Healthy boundaries.

earlyriser

This was a big deal for me to read today. I am going to follow your lead on this!

Earlyriser

Nowsthetime

This was so great to read! Good for you! This conveys respect!

I love it!

Always put yourself first plus this will teach them a lesson to not procrastinate. You are done solving other's problems that they cause.

"Lack of preparation on your part doesn't mean an emergency on mine."

Good job M!

hayley86

Good for you!

Fly N Buy

Love it ! Not my monkey, not my circus......classic.

We stop being the directors of everyone else's lives......Sound like this person NEEDS you to direct things. Could not agree more, it's not our roles anymore and we choose to set reasonable boundaries when helping or becoming involved. Perfect!!!

Kind Regards,
FlyN

matilda123

Thanks, everyone. Perhaps not surprisingly, I got a complainypants and frankly tart email back from the person. When I read it this morning, I initially felt bad. But then I realized there was a gift in that email too: often it is a sign we're drawing boundaries when others are unhappy with our decisions. As I try to remind myself, putting my needs first doesn't mean that folks are going to be happy with what I do.

matilda123

Thanks, everyone. Perhaps not surprisingly, I got a complainypants and frankly tart email back from the person. When I read it this morning, I had my original kind of reaction: I felt bad. But then I realized there was a gift in that email too: often it is a sign we're drawing boundaries when others are unhappy with our decisions. As I try to remind myself, putting my needs first doesn't mean that folks are going to be happy with what I do.

foolsgold66

Complainypants, huh? Love it.