Changing things
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Changing things
When I was drinking, I kept my bottle in a cloth bag on a shelf in the garage. It was right in front of my car when I pulled in each night. It was the first thing I saw when I got home. It gave me a sense of relief that something was about to blunt all my troubles and bring me joy. Even after I began to drink throughout the day, coming home to that spot on the shelf held a certain comfort. Like, I suppose, what one ought to feel when coming home to family.
Now there is no bottle. The crumpled cloth bag languished there for a while like a corpse until I got rid of it. The empty spot on the shelf remained. I looked into that void every night as I pulled in, crushed by its emptiness and the fear of going through the evening sober. It was a powerful loneliness.
Today I pulled into the garage and stared at the spot. I felt a welling of anger and a surge of determination to destroy what it was and turn it into something new. Something of my own.
I dug a cardboard box out of the recycling bin and cut out a large square portion. With a thick marker, I wrote on it a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr., Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. I wedged it into the spot.
To me this passage means to trust that the sober life ahead of me is worth whatever pain I may feel today. It means to loosen my grip on the fear that has bound me to alcohol for so long. It means to believe in something larger and stronger than this moment, even if I don't understand what it is. And for the first time in my life, I do believe.
Now this will be the first thing I see when I come home.
Now there is no bottle. The crumpled cloth bag languished there for a while like a corpse until I got rid of it. The empty spot on the shelf remained. I looked into that void every night as I pulled in, crushed by its emptiness and the fear of going through the evening sober. It was a powerful loneliness.
Today I pulled into the garage and stared at the spot. I felt a welling of anger and a surge of determination to destroy what it was and turn it into something new. Something of my own.
I dug a cardboard box out of the recycling bin and cut out a large square portion. With a thick marker, I wrote on it a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr., Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. I wedged it into the spot.
To me this passage means to trust that the sober life ahead of me is worth whatever pain I may feel today. It means to loosen my grip on the fear that has bound me to alcohol for so long. It means to believe in something larger and stronger than this moment, even if I don't understand what it is. And for the first time in my life, I do believe.
Now this will be the first thing I see when I come home.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Briar 
When I was drinking, I kept my bottle in a cloth bag on a shelf in the garage. It was right in front of my car when I pulled in each night. It was the first thing I saw when I got home. It gave me a sense of relief that something was about to blunt all my troubles and bring me joy. Even after I began to drink throughout the day, coming home to that spot on the shelf held a certain comfort. Like, I suppose, what one ought to feel when coming home to family.
Now there is no bottle. The crumpled cloth bag languished there for a while like a corpse until I got rid of it. The empty spot on the shelf remained. I looked into that void every night as I pulled in, crushed by its emptiness and the fear of going through the evening sober. It was a powerful loneliness.
Today I pulled into the garage and stared at the spot. I felt a welling of anger and a surge of determination to destroy what it was and turn it into something new. Something of my own.
I dug a cardboard box out of the recycling bin and cut out a large square portion. With a thick marker, I wrote on it a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr., Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. I wedged it into the spot.
To me this passage means to trust that the sober life ahead of me is worth whatever pain I may feel today. It means to loosen my grip on the fear that has bound me to alcohol for so long. It means to believe in something larger and stronger than this moment, even if I don't understand what it is. And for the first time in my life, I do believe.
Now this will be the first thing I see when I come home.
Now there is no bottle. The crumpled cloth bag languished there for a while like a corpse until I got rid of it. The empty spot on the shelf remained. I looked into that void every night as I pulled in, crushed by its emptiness and the fear of going through the evening sober. It was a powerful loneliness.
Today I pulled into the garage and stared at the spot. I felt a welling of anger and a surge of determination to destroy what it was and turn it into something new. Something of my own.
I dug a cardboard box out of the recycling bin and cut out a large square portion. With a thick marker, I wrote on it a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr., Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. I wedged it into the spot.
To me this passage means to trust that the sober life ahead of me is worth whatever pain I may feel today. It means to loosen my grip on the fear that has bound me to alcohol for so long. It means to believe in something larger and stronger than this moment, even if I don't understand what it is. And for the first time in my life, I do believe.
Now this will be the first thing I see when I come home.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Love it!!!
Not to offend others, thougt I'd share the morning prayer I learned. Maybe it will be helpful to someone ;
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!
Great stuff Briar!
Peace to us all on our journies...
FlyN
Not to offend others, thougt I'd share the morning prayer I learned. Maybe it will be helpful to someone ;
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!
Great stuff Briar!
Peace to us all on our journies...
FlyN
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Originally Posted by Flynbuy
Love it!!!
Not to offend others, thougt I'd share the morning prayer I learned. Maybe it will be helpful to someone ;
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!
Great stuff Briar!
Peace to us all on our journies...
FlyN
Not to offend others, thougt I'd share the morning prayer I learned. Maybe it will be helpful to someone ;
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!
Great stuff Briar!
Peace to us all on our journies...
FlyN
Thanks.
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