Children's custody and access
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 371
Children's custody and access
Today is a very hard day.
I have been engaged in a year and a half custody and access dispute with my ex wife over our daughter and son.
She refuses to allow reasonable access and manipulates and alienates the children. This is not exaggerated, and while I'm not the world's greatest dad, I have done nothing at all that would warrant anyone to remove my right to be a father to my children.
In a cowardly way, my ex hides behind the children, and thereby places them directly in the conflict. In the line if fire.
I try to be bigger, everyday, hearing a relentless attack on my character, lies about child abuse, how the children feel about me, on and on and on...a script that keeps repeating itself, while I see virtually nothing of my children, let alone participate in their lives.
Today is a very, very hard day.
I have been engaged in a year and a half custody and access dispute with my ex wife over our daughter and son.
She refuses to allow reasonable access and manipulates and alienates the children. This is not exaggerated, and while I'm not the world's greatest dad, I have done nothing at all that would warrant anyone to remove my right to be a father to my children.
In a cowardly way, my ex hides behind the children, and thereby places them directly in the conflict. In the line if fire.
I try to be bigger, everyday, hearing a relentless attack on my character, lies about child abuse, how the children feel about me, on and on and on...a script that keeps repeating itself, while I see virtually nothing of my children, let alone participate in their lives.
Today is a very, very hard day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm so sorry...
I went through a 2 year custody battle. U was fortunate to get 50/50 custody... But only because my ex abducted the kids and Stole off to another state after setting up an elaborate deception. Despite her actions and her history of depression and BPD, she still got 50%.
I despise the way the system treats fathers.
Never give up. Keep doing the right thing, keep sober, and keep pushing for your rights.
It can be a long slog.... But your kids need you and you need them. Keep fighting!
I went through a 2 year custody battle. U was fortunate to get 50/50 custody... But only because my ex abducted the kids and Stole off to another state after setting up an elaborate deception. Despite her actions and her history of depression and BPD, she still got 50%.
I despise the way the system treats fathers.
Never give up. Keep doing the right thing, keep sober, and keep pushing for your rights.
It can be a long slog.... But your kids need you and you need them. Keep fighting!
Are you and the kids getting counseling? I can't imagine how hurtful this must be for your family.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,475
I am so sorry Razor. None of us is perfect as a parent, and it's so sad that your wife is speaking badly about you to the children. Is there anything you can do legally?
It probably isn't much comfort but I believe that they will see things as they really are and they will understand what is happening.
Stay strong and be the best Dad you can be.
It probably isn't much comfort but I believe that they will see things as they really are and they will understand what is happening.
Stay strong and be the best Dad you can be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
It's hard to put a positive spin on a wretched situation like that razor. The biggest encouragement I can offer is cheering you on in your continued sobriety. Dad after day you're building a solid foundation in sobriety. As a dad myself I know that you desire to build your relationship with your kids on that foundation. Please don't allow what is admittedly a very very tough situation to undermine your efforts. I wish you the very best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
manipulates and alienates the children. This is not exaggerated, and while I'm not the world's greatest dad, I have done nothing at all that would warrant anyone to remove my right to be a father to my children.
Fortunately my children have not seen my dark side when I was drinking, thank God for that, but they were told many things to create a false fear and grew up with that fear.
Be strong, it takes time and do all the right things so one day the children will question their mother, ( or father in reverse circumstances) why she, ( or he), lied.
Other than that all I can say is I got some professional advice and talked to as many people as possible who would listen or have had similar experiences.
The worse thing I remember doing is harping on and on about it with people and friends and my life story became an object to avoid me. No one wants to keep hearing your story about the children every time, even at work I sensed some started to avoid me cos they could guess all I would talk about is the ex and the mistreatment of the children.
Some friends were a great help to during the phases, but above all it's no value to drink or drug over it, these things will pass, the children will grow into young adults and when that happens the offending parent, family etc gets eggs on their face once those children ask the question, "why did you lie to us about our parent" ?
Thankful for this community
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 371
Thank you all for your kind words. Your empathy means much to me today. Staying strong though with no drinking, so you know.
It's a mess but I am doing the best I can. I also believe in karma, so I try to be good to everyone. Positive energy to all tonight.
It's a mess but I am doing the best I can. I also believe in karma, so I try to be good to everyone. Positive energy to all tonight.
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