resolving uncertainty
 

.....it's Friday night and my three kids are packing up to leave tomorrow. They've been here for 3 weeks. The family reunion was in the middle for 5 days. I took time off work but worked yesterday and today. I am tired. I have no desire to drink tonight but I'm thinking about tomorrow. When I get home from the airport it will be just me and my dogs. The house will be quiet and empty. I will probably be sad and missing my kids. I gave an unopened bottle of wine away today cause I didn't want it in my house. But the thing is, I won't want a glass of wine or a drink...I will want to get smashed. I envision getting sloshed and having a time out and not having to deal with my feelings about the visit, the reunion, my sisters unpleasantness, and my kids being far away again. Just a short break, just to relax. But then I come on this site and I read about people's suffering. I hate this affliction of alcoholism. It really stinks. I don't want to have to go through the early days of getting sober again. It was so hard, but I did it. The short period of pleasure would not be worth the misery that would follow. So I guess I answered my own question. Hopefully I will be able to deal with it tomorrow and just come home and rest.. Maybe I'll rent a movie and get some ICE CREAM! Thanks for listening. I'm sure I'll be on here a lot tomorrow.

Good job happy and free!

Why not sign in to the "24-Hour Recovery Connections" thread? It's just one more daily commitment that can help keep you sober.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5017562

Remember we'll be here too happyandfree - youre not alone :)

D

Thinking good thoughts for you, happyandfree. Good for your for recognizing that this is how you feel. I'm very new at this, but it sounds like from what others have said that it is important for us to recognize how we're feeling as relapses often brew over a period of time; they don't just suddenly happen.

Yeah for ice cream and a movie! Please pamper yourself; you deserve it!

Don't envision yourself getting slosh drunk. Just keep your sights set on lounging comfortably on the couch with your dogs and a bowl of ice cream watching a good movie.

If in doubt log onto here. This place is so helpful!

Cold fusion, thanks for the recommendation of the 24 hrs thread. Never been on it. Thanks all of you for being here.