Waterfalls2014

OMG here I am again. I read and I know the consequences but yep I slipped. Even I'm sick of saying this. I can imagine how you all feel.

Dee74

I feel glad you made it back Waterfalls

D

Rina

We are here to support you not judge you or be frustrated with you! You are doing enough of that to yourself right now. Good for you for getting back on here and reaching out. It's never too late to change Waterfalls. You are still here for a reason!

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back Waterfalls. What exactly were you doing for a plan before you drank? Can you think of what you might do differently this time?

Waterfalls2014

Thank you!! I do try. But I'm having a hard time. AD drama and stuff that's not an excuse but it happened. I just wonder if this new life is for me. Crazy I know. 30 years of drinking. Massive feel like crap hangovers. My equilibrium will be off tomorrow. I'll be puking. Why would I wonder. That should be cut and dry. But here I am. Again...

Chillly

Heyo! Welcome back!!!!

SoberLeigh

Yes, you CAN do it, Waterfalls. Starting again is the only good option and here you are exercising that option by posting on SR!!!!!

fini

hey Waterfalls,

yeah, should be cut and dry alright; been there done that.
like many of us here, looks like you had some doubt about that, hm?

good to see you back.

Waterfalls2014

I keep slipping and slipping. Does my SR family get sick of hearing about it? Am I sharing to much? I feel so bad, committing not to drink some days on the 24 hour thread (which I do take serious and not drink) but some days I disappear. I'm just so mad at myself. I know better.

fini

it looks like 'know better' is not all it takes, Waterfalls. many of us knew better for years or decades. i did certainly know better, but then there would be that idea that maybe this time....or, worse, i wouldn't always care enough that i knew better, because i wasn't listening to THAT part of me, cause if i listened to THAT, i'd need to quit!!

other than feeling bad, mad and sad and posting, what are you doing to make this happen? seems like many of us need to make quite a few changes in order to move forward....what can you add to what hasn't worked for you so far?

Dee74

I can guarantee this new life IS for you...how could a life where you're happy and value yourself more not be?

you just need to find new, better, more effective coping strategies waterfalls, cos drinking just won;t cut it - y'know?

D

strategery

I am sorry to hear you've slipped Waterfalls, but the good thing is you're here and back fighting for your sobriety.

Waterfalls2014

Thanks guys. I have a lot to think about tonight. Thanks for not giving up on me

Waterfalls2014

I've done little things. Taking a new way home so I don't pass the drive through, working 50 hour weeks voluntary to take up my time. I get it tho, that's not working because look what happens what I do get a free night.

Waterfalls2014

Thank you. I do want to value myself. What a wake up call. Thanks for reminding me of this.

ANewDayNYC

Hang in there waterfalls - you can do this

Waterfalls2014

Thank you ANDN. We once had the same sober day I believe. I'll be not far behind you as I'm starting again tomorrow

fini

yes; planning ahead for times i knew might be difficult, or that might be 'free-floating and vague' was helpful. it takes time to learn how to be with yourself in a new, sober way.

Anna

When I read that you're working 50 hours a week by choice to take up your time, it made me stop and think. For me, I have balance is crucial. I would not have been able to recover if I worked 50 hours a week because I have other things in my life that I enjoy and want/need to do. Do you spend time doing things outside of work - hobbies, sports, that kind of thing?

We don't give up on people here at SR.

losteverything

Hang in there, waterfalls. It takes as many tries as it takes, as long as you keep trying.