Rice

Hi - not 100% sure why I'm posting here. Perhaps it's the whole 'you have to admit there's a problem before you can resolve it' stuff, but I don't know.

Not too good at talking about myself and my 'problems' so it might take some time to get used to this place.

Gues i'm still in between wanting to be sober/ clean and not being ready to deal with it all.

Sorry, that's not a very informative post.

Treerat66

Hi Rice, welcome to SR.

Nonsensical

Welcome back. You admitted it was a problem in your post from a year ago. Best time to move forward is now.

A better life is yours for the taking. How can we help?

Dee74

Welcome back Rice

most people post here because at least on some level they want change.
Would that be you?

D

Rice

I know that I don't feel great - and that's a problem.
Just know that by beinv clean and sober I would feel a lot worse.

So, it's really hard to know what's best.

Dee74

Perhaps initially, but certainly not forever. It gets better, and you have places like this for support, or recovery groups, or Doctors if you feel like you need medical help...

A little short term discomfort really isn't that much of a price to pay, is it?

D

Rice

In terms of addiction, you're right.
But, it won't solve everything.

Right now it's the only thing holding me together. And it's frightening to imagine that being taken away.

Soberwolf

Holding you so much that your on a sobriety website

Rice its killing you it aint holding **** together

i didnt think i was alcoholic yet at 32 and 16 months sober im glad ive realised i was a slave to a bottle

when you were growing up you didnt need alcohol to hold you together

now you believe it is holding you together Rice im your friend trust me it aint doing **** for youyou know that thats why your here

nothing to be ashamed of admitting you have a problem with alcohol

Dee74

That's the addictive you speaking.

It's a leap of faith into the unknown rice - for sure...but it's not a very big gamble...

there's thousands of us here, thousands of us who thought that alcohol was the only thing holding us together too, who made the leap and went a different way.

Not one of us would still be here and sober, if we felt we lost out on the deal

D

Rice

Maybe.

I don't have friends though. I don't like letting people in.

It is holding me together in some ways. I don't know if I would be here, if I didn't have alcohol and drugs to get me through. I guess some of my reluctance, is that I will ahve to deal with everything that I have been trying to mask through substance use.

Not sure if I am strong enough for that.


Just so hard to do alone. I have always beens stubborn and had to do things by myself, but not sure I can do this.

Soberwolf

Rice i was the exact same only diffrence i kept saying i couldnt do it im not strong enough relapsing constantly in 3 months of trying

one morning i woke up and it just made sense the only way i am going to get sober is by refusing alcohol and accepting that i lost i had no friends (at all) my gf had left nearly died in a fire and was getting checked for wet brain

yet i still couldnt say i was alcoholic ...crazy right ? thats what it does it isolates and destroys anything we care about

have you seen a film called flight youl like it and relate heavily i swear go watch it now Flight

if you want to stay in contact and just chat a bit we can do that youl make good friends here

there is also a song you might like Macklemore Starting Over lyrics - YouTube


stay in touch friend

Rice

I can try - but no one stays around me once they get to know me.

Soberwolf

Wont know till you try il send a friend request up to you if you accept it

btw im so glad your trying

JanieJ

Rice, you sound like you have a complete downer on yourself.

There are many here who will understand the mindset you have.

Hope you stick around, my friend.

Nonsensical

Then you're in luck, because we don't have any no one's here.

That stuff that you think is holding you together is really holding you in a cage.

Turn this all the way up and let it rip!




Then go to this thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...v-14-16-a.html
It's very friendly!

anattaboy

The "all" that one has to deal with only get bigger and messier with time. You would not have bothered to register here if you weren't considering quitting. You can only gain by continuing to come here and peruse and post. Best wishes on putting the plug in the jug for good. We're all rootin for ya!

fini

Rice,

you've probably read this in posts all over the forums, but it bears repeating: it's a process.

meaning: you proceed as things change. and yes, if you don't start, you will stay where you are. in a process things change, evolve, move.

you're right it won't solve everything, but staying where you're at solves what for you?
i was afraid it was holding me together, too, my drinking and my anger, but i let go of the drinking a long time ago and am still together, so that wasn't it

yes, being hit with reality without anaesthetic can be tough at the beginning, but being sober brings with it possibilities, possibilities you don't have when drinking/drugging is the ever-go-to solution. that you're not sure you want other possibilities is coming through in your posts....change is scary yet the only way forward.

biminiblue

Have you thought about reaching out for support and trying to add some real life people?

If you go to an AA meeting you will find people just like you. Alcohol does a number on us, causes depression and self-loathing. They told me in a meeting, "We will love you until you can love yourself."

They don't make you talk - lots of people don't. They do give hope and face to face contact with people who understand. That's what I had to do to get out of my crazy head. I don't have any real life friends either, and I have lots of trauma in my past.

There is a way out. Ask for help, somewhere. Doesn't have to be AA, but maybe a church or counselor? Our addiction wants us alone. That's a hard place to be, and it doesn't have to stay that way.

Nowsthetime

Hello:

The only thing I hear in your post is your AV...

Stick around and make that sucker shut up!

JT0626

^^^^This!!!!!!!

Do know that you are worth it. Alcohol/drugs don't solve your problems. We all have problems (hell, I have a LOT), it's part of life. Stay a while & post some more....we are here for you.