Still deciding
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Rice,
It took me a very long time to get to the point that I was truly ready to quit. The nature of addiction being what it is, recovery cannot be a part time effort and succeed.
I had many misgivings and doubts when I started, but with the help of others I was able to stick with it, and have been sober since Dec 2009. There may be some who can quit without any program or help from others, but in my experience the vast majority of alcoholics and addicts need support to quit and stay quit. I was fortunate to have found someone who was willing to show me how he got sober. I found him through AA - there are other programs and paths, but that was my way. I wanted what he had (17 years sobriety at the time, and an awesome sense of humor), so I did exactly what he suggested. One of those things he suggested: work your sobriety every single day - because your addiction never goes away, it simply goes in remission. Even today I still need to work my recovery every day, and go to three or four meetings a week.
I have to make my mind up every day to do what worked yesterday. The day I change my mind is likely the day I start down the slippery slope of relapse.
You can do this Rice, but perhaps you could use backup?
It took me a very long time to get to the point that I was truly ready to quit. The nature of addiction being what it is, recovery cannot be a part time effort and succeed.
I had many misgivings and doubts when I started, but with the help of others I was able to stick with it, and have been sober since Dec 2009. There may be some who can quit without any program or help from others, but in my experience the vast majority of alcoholics and addicts need support to quit and stay quit. I was fortunate to have found someone who was willing to show me how he got sober. I found him through AA - there are other programs and paths, but that was my way. I wanted what he had (17 years sobriety at the time, and an awesome sense of humor), so I did exactly what he suggested. One of those things he suggested: work your sobriety every single day - because your addiction never goes away, it simply goes in remission. Even today I still need to work my recovery every day, and go to three or four meetings a week.
I have to make my mind up every day to do what worked yesterday. The day I change my mind is likely the day I start down the slippery slope of relapse.
You can do this Rice, but perhaps you could use backup?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
I know change is scary, especially giving up alcohol - but the longer you leave it the harder it gets rice.
Give it some serious thought - you won't be alone...there's a ton of support here
D
Give it some serious thought - you won't be alone...there's a ton of support here
D
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Well Rice that is very positive tackle 1 problem youl feel better dont panic you have us to lean on as your finding out the ppl here are very helpful supportive and understanding
well done friend that really is good news
well done friend that really is good news
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I wonder; do you think if you just tried 90 days of clean and sober, active recovery with AA, daily posting on SR, daily exercise and a counselor - you could survive?
Just 90days? Surely that would be attainable? Surely you'd learn something? Surely you can give yourself just 90 days out of a lifetime to gain firsthand awareness of yourself without drugs or alcohol?
Just 90days? Surely that would be attainable? Surely you'd learn something? Surely you can give yourself just 90 days out of a lifetime to gain firsthand awareness of yourself without drugs or alcohol?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Rice - in one post you say you plan to stop and then a few posts later you say maybe just stop alcohol. That sounds like an addictive brain. I know as my brain works the same. We will encourage you to stop everything, but you may need to seek support in real life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 75
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
I wonder; do you think if you just tried 90 days of clean and sober, active recovery with AA, daily posting on SR, daily exercise and a counselor - you could survive?
Just 90days? Surely that would be attainable? Surely you'd learn something? Surely you can give yourself just 90 days out of a lifetime to gain firsthand awareness of yourself without drugs or alcohol?
Just 90days? Surely that would be attainable? Surely you'd learn something? Surely you can give yourself just 90 days out of a lifetime to gain firsthand awareness of yourself without drugs or alcohol?
I don't like being around people, I get too anxious about meeting people- aa would be a nightmare for me. Unless I have a drink first, which isn't good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 75
Originally Posted by Tang
Rice - in one post you say you plan to stop and then a few posts later you say maybe just stop alcohol. That sounds like an addictive brain. I know as my brain works the same. We will encourage you to stop everything, but you may need to seek support in real life.
Of course it sounds like an addictive brain - I'm an addict.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Addictive mind is learned behavior. We unlearn it by first being sober, then rinse repeat and eventually one "intuitively" knows how to do life sober. It just takes practice and alternate problem solving skills (trying new things).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by Rice
Maybe I could stop the alcohol, but not everything else.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Rice
This doesnt help.
If you don't feel that you're ready to put down the drink, then indecision will likely be the least of your worries.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Rice
I've not had one day clean and sober in I don't know how many years, I think 90 days is asking a lot.
I don't like being around people, I get too anxious about meeting people- aa would be a nightmare for me. Unless I have a drink first, which isn't good.
I don't like being around people, I get too anxious about meeting people- aa would be a nightmare for me. Unless I have a drink first, which isn't good.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hey Rice,
I just posted a response on Pixie's thread this morning, because that was the thread I happened to see first and I did not realize the two of you were discussing similar things. Maybe interesting, maybe not, here is a link anyway:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5022649
I just posted a response on Pixie's thread this morning, because that was the thread I happened to see first and I did not realize the two of you were discussing similar things. Maybe interesting, maybe not, here is a link anyway:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5022649
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I get it Rice.
Alcohol kept me alive from 2006-2008.
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
and on & on it went, for 2 years.
I dunno if that describes the dilemma that you are facing, that's just my experience.
If that does describe you .... don't stop drinking until you are ready to get face to face help, from a doctor, from a rehab, from a counsellor, from anyone skilled in separating alcoholics from alcohol.
You need help to separate ..... I strongly suggest you do not do it alone.
When I got to this stage of suicidal sober ..... the best thing I did was get face to face help.
I couldn't have done it alone & I'm glad I didn't have to.
You live in a city of 10 million plus people Rice .... you don't have to do it alone either.
There are people who have trained for years & whose job it is to separate alcoholics from alcohol, just waiting for you to ask for help.
Asking for their help is up to you.
Alcohol kept me alive from 2006-2008.
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
Drink .... brave enough to live another day
Sober .... suicidal thoughts washed over me & the only thing that relieved me of those thoughts was ....
and on & on it went, for 2 years.
I dunno if that describes the dilemma that you are facing, that's just my experience.
If that does describe you .... don't stop drinking until you are ready to get face to face help, from a doctor, from a rehab, from a counsellor, from anyone skilled in separating alcoholics from alcohol.
You need help to separate ..... I strongly suggest you do not do it alone.
When I got to this stage of suicidal sober ..... the best thing I did was get face to face help.
I couldn't have done it alone & I'm glad I didn't have to.
You live in a city of 10 million plus people Rice .... you don't have to do it alone either.
There are people who have trained for years & whose job it is to separate alcoholics from alcohol, just waiting for you to ask for help.
Asking for their help is up to you.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Rice
Perhaps it's the whole 'you have to admit there's a problem before you can resolve it' stuff, but I don't know.
But I wanted to address this...in your first post. I didn't read every post but I do believe your ambivalence about recovery remains. I don't think you are struggling with accepting your addictions as much as you may be struggling with your beliefs about recovery...
I am...in recovery. I'm in process of peeling back a big ole onion these days. My addiction crawls out of many holes.
Okay..now I'm going to bring up recovery support here..hope that doesn't turn you off. Anyhoo...I did some Step 1 work with a sponsor on my alcohol issue. Ya..I accept my booze problem..easy peasy. I renders me "powerless" ..yup...check.
WELL.. it wasn't until I had a bit of a breakdown on another issue and I looked at Step 1 in that respect...
Well..hell's bells...it's all about CONTROL...
And I think I got some...bwaaaahahahahaha...
My addictions are all about my ridiculous belief that I can control..anything with whatever behaviour or substance I'm using to escape pain and discomfort.
I can't 'control" eff all...
You think whatever you're doing is helping you "control" something....
Joke's on you.
That game ended long ago..
It ..all of it...controls you...
Letting go of whatever we are doing in our ridiculous and futile attempt to control...
Really is what sets you free.
Time and time again...I have gone back thinking I can "control"...
Nope. Nadda. Never.
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