Serenidad

Hi there,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I am wondering about powerlessness. (Over alcohol).

I was in a 12 step meeting tonite and they were discussing how "we are powerless over alcohol". (Step 1)

I've been thinking a lot about that tonight since the meeting and even prior to the meeting tonite. I just don't understand what they are trying to say? I was confused about this during my 5.5 years of sobriety before my relapse at times too but never really figured it out. (Maybe that's why I relapsed???)

What does it mean to be Powerless over alcohol? Or maybe some of you don't believe that concept and that's ok. I would like YOUR feedback too. :-)

This is step 1 stuff in AA and I always get hung up on the powerless thing. I mean I believe I'm powerless over the weather. I'm powerless over what you guys post on SR. I'm powerless over how tall or short I am....Etc. Etc. ...but trying to grasp powerless over alcohol....

My sponsor said that step 1 (We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable) is the only step we have to do perfectly so I am kind of stressed about it. I'm afraid if I admit I don't understand she will tell me I'm "not ready" and to go out and experiment some more. I don't want to drink anymore! :-(

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

***Please NOTE...I am NOT starting an AA debate...just looking for insight from people.***

thanks in advance! :-) God bless!

ScottFromWI

I am not an active in AA, and you might get better responses in the 12step forums, but to me powerless means I cannot control my drinking once I start. I always drank more than I planned to

Serenidad

Oh yeah...I forgot about the 12 step forums Scott. Maybe I posted this thread in the wrong place??? I guess someone can move it if they would like. Thx Scott for your feedback!

anattaboy

It means I've failed numerous times to control my drinking. It whupped me every time. A first step done correctly is knowing it will never be different and I have no desire to "experiment" again. Of course we're not completely powerless as most of us here laid it down. It's an AA word. Bill was fond of using odd multi-syllable words. It makes a good lead-in for the god-having-the-power and the rest of the steps. People saying they're powerless over everything as if it were a universal fix-all take it a bit far IMO.

Nuudawn

For me powerlessness over alcohol is like what kryptonite does to Superman.

Alcohol renders me powerless. I cannot control it...it is in control of me once ingested.

RobbyRobot

I admitted I was powerless over alcohol not because I was powerless as a person, and not because I was powerless while under alcohol either. I was, and still am, powerless OVER alcohol. Meaning, when I drank, alcohol always got the better of me any way I want to look at it. I can't stand toe to toe with alcohol, have my way with it, and win. It always ended up as an epic fail. If that is not lack of power over alcohol, what is?

By example, say I drink, and it all goes good that time. So what. I've been there before, lol. So, I'll next time around drink again and why not? Of course, my alcoholism being fed drinks will beat for sure me down sooner or later. Same old same old. I'm not just some guy who couldn't hold his booze. I drank as a chronic alcoholic. There are consequences and responsibilities for being alcoholic of course. Not everyone who quits drinking is alcoholic either for that matter...

So, being recovered I'm still powerless OVER alcohol. Yup. I'm still an alcoholic. Being recovered isn't being cured. Being recovered requires me to forever abstain from alcohol. I can't ever power myself up enough to win against my alcoholism if I drank. I just don't have that kind of power. If I had such power, why the hell would I have ever quit?

So I quit.

Let me tell you, since quitting, power is not something I lack anymore. I have power aplenty to live my life happily free of my alcoholism illness. I couldn't care less being powerless OVER alcohol. Why should I care? I'm never going to drink again, so who cares?

As for step one being the only step one has to do perfectly, I don't agree with any such kind of an understanding. All the steps simply are done well whenever one does their honest best with themselves in staying quit and getting on with living their lives. Sometimes that takes a few repeated efforts to get it right. Took me years. Eventually I stayed quit and got sober. My last drink was back in 1981.

gippy1968

Wait a minute..... Your AA Sponsor would suggest that you "go out and experiment some more" if you don't understand/agree Step 1?!

Hoping I'm misinterpreting that.......

resolute50

I suppose using alcohol as a tool to get through life.
And thinking you can not face life without it.

Dee74

There's another current thread about powerlessness here:

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

I'm not in AA but I think this explains it pretty well from a 12 step perspective :

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

I can give you a thousand examples of how alcohol completely and utterly owned me, but I'm sure you have your own examples.

I had every reason in the world not to drink again...but I did anyway.

That's powerlessness - and accepting that powerlessness needs to be the basis of any recovery I think....

if you don't accept it, you'll drink again - trying the master what is for us the unmasterable, Serenidad.

instant

For me its the broken "off switch", and my vulnerability to addiction. Neither of these are within my control and will never change.

Low

Try not to overthink it too much first of all...Scott pretty much nailed it. It means we can control so much in our lives, and use and be successful in our will power alone in most areas, however, in alcohol, once we ingest it, we have NO power in how much we will drink, none, zilch. One may a few times, (creating that false security and heightening our denial mechanism) or like me, sometimes I could control it, but had no choice when I somehow managed that....but most of the time, once I started, I had NO choice in the matter of the quantity. Complete powerlessness...So many folks take it to mean they are weak or something, it has nothing to do with that.

MelindaFlowers

To me "powerless" meant that I could not control my drinking anymore. I could no longer contain it and drink without really bad consequences. Every day I would say that I would just have one or two and then I would have 10 or 12. I am a smart person so this didn't make any sense to me. This is why I am powerless over alcohol.

Soberwolf

Powerless for me comes with acceptance

like if i drink im pretty much ****** and i mean that i could try but at one point im going to black out and not remember anything

JanieJ

This is a really useful thread, thanks for bringing it up, Serenidad.

I was wondering as well !

least

I am not powerless unless I take that first drink. Then I am powerless over what I do next. Cause I'll always end up drinking too much.

Marcher13

The one thing I am sure about in my sobriety is that alcohol would kill what I now have. I am powerless if I consume alcohol, I am powerful if I don't.

I'm not in AA Serenidad but that statement you discussed makes sense to me.

GracieLou

For me, power = control. I can't control alcohol. I am powerless once I take that first drink. The first drink gets me drunk. Not the second or the tenth, the first. I lose all power once I have drink one. It all starts with drink one.

I have never had that capability. That is why I believe I was born an alcoholic. I was not born with the off switch. Social drinkers have this switch or button, I do not. It works for them without their knowledge. They have one or two drinks, feel a buzz or sleepy and they stop. That is not what happens for me. I have one and I want more. It is an upper for me. I am off and running.

The story in the BB about crossing the river of denial hits home with me. "She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking she could not control it and when she controlled she did not enjoy it".

I hated having to try and control my drinking once I started. I was angry and uneasy. I would rather have none then to be forced to sip a drink or two over an evening. I wanted to drink it all, now! That is the craving I can't control, powerless.

Instead of putting myself in that position I just didn't attend an event that would require that. I stayed home with my half gallon and drank to blackout. Of course this was years down the road after I attended many events and drank to much. Then there were the times I drank before so I had a buzz when I went or took extra with me so it appeared I only had one or two.

Before I came to AA I felt I had no choice. I drank. That was what I did, it was who I was, it was my lifestyle and most, if not all the people I associated with had the same lifestyle so it felt normal.

Once I worked the steps I came to understand that there are many things I am powerless over. Mostly it involves people or life in general.

The Serenity Prayer reminds me of this. I said it often when I first got sober. There are many things I cannot change or control.

Acceptance that I am an alcoholic was the key for me. I can't change it, ever.

FreeOwl

When I allow alcohol to be a part of my life, I cannot predict what will happen - except that over time the consequences will be negative, I will not be able to be my Authentic Self, Joy will evaporate and I will live in protracted misery. In that space I will struggle to stop the cycle so greatly that it may take weeks, years or a lifetime to stop again.

That is powerlessness.

At a simple day to day level.... I have vivid images of telling myself 'today I won't drink', then within hours... Steering my vehicle to the liquor store.... Saying out loud to myself 'what the hell are you DOING!?!'... And then 'f*** it! Ill quit tomorrow...'

Powerless

FreeOwl

this!!

FreeOwl

Mine suggested this too....

'Hey, if you think you can drink... Go on and give it a shot. Maybe you need to conduct an experiment!'

While it seems to be the absolute worst advice... When he said it to me he was right. Somehow, he knew I wasn't 'there' yet. He saw something that I wasn't ready to see or admit to myself; I wasn't really accepting that I would never drink again. I was quietly thinking 'I just need to take a break. Some time off to reset. Then I will drink again like a decent human being'.

I blew off his advice and forgot about it.... But then a few months later decided I was 'fine'. Just had to be careful about when I drank.... Make sure I was 'in balance'.... Blah blah blah.

When I finally got back to the tables and back in touch with my sponsor after that 1.5 year bender... He said: 'So... What did you learn from your experiment'.

I believe those words he planted were chosen because his 26 years of sobriety and working with other alcoholics helped him see clearly that I wasn't done yet... And so he put them in my head for later reference, because he already knew what was coming.

I know they seem controversial, but in my case I am grateful. When he said that, it hit me right between the eyes. Until he asked 'so.... What did you learn from your experiment?' I hadn't even recalled or thought of it. But BAM!!!! I realized in that moment, vividly, that my very own research had given me the evidence I'd refused to see before.