FixerUpper

I have tried multiple times to quit. This last summer I was working the steps and learned, figured out, that anger and resentment, usually work related lead me to go by the bottle. I get stressed, get pissed and I can kill a whole bottle of vodka in a day! Next day it is guilt and torment and the physical effects are horrible which leads me to drink again because I swear it takes just one sip and they all go away. It is such a love hate relationship!

phoebe64

So, fixer upper, can you decide to do something different next time you are hit with anger or resentment?

I know it is hard. I only have 4 days presently, and it is a huge trigger for me as well. I exercised tonight, just 20 minutes, but it got out some tension from the day. I had done 30 minutes earlier today as well. I find exercise to be great for redirecting my attention, if I can get out of my head enough to do it.

FixerUpper

Yes Phoebe. I am an active guy though. Here in my rural world its what we do. I think I tend to play the blame game so if it isnt work, it is home. If it isnt that it is simply being bored. Sound familiar?

Mags1

Hi fixerupper, it's a vicious circle isn't it. If you can , jump off the roller coaster for a moment and ignore the adiictive voice, inside.

I found I got stressed an awful lot and my solution was always booze, though it was my solution to most things.

Without the booze I don't get stressed as much and seem to be more in control.
Could the stress be a lead up to knowing the result, a bottle of vodka?

FixerUpper

Yes sir it it is a vicious circle! And yes I think most of the stress is just waiting to get home to have that sip. This defies all logic.

Hawks

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

Take an hour and listen to this.

50 plus years of experience, sobriety and wisdom.

This talk explained in language I could understand, precisely what my problems were, what my problems with sobriety were too.

And ultimately why I too was stuck in a vicious cycle / circle for decades.

Nuudawn

I don't think there is any other way..than through.

Learning to feel, identify, endure and cope with our emotions is what sobriety is all about. In my first few months it seems to me that it was all about the emotions triggering sudden cravings...and then I would focus on resisting the craving.

I'm somewhere between 4 and 5 months and now a craving would almost seem a welcome relief..

These days...it seems to be all just rolling with emotions..and that can get tiresome.

Sometimes I suppose I feel like I want OFF this ride...

But I've come to far...
Not this time.