I'm so sorry...
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
For a while on here I thought you were a guy. A dad. And your name was Serenidad because you were a dad striving for serenity. Then I remembered Spanish lol
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Originally Posted by Nuudawn
For me Serindad, the whole name switch to Limawhatever is only indicative of how lost you truly feel. But my friend, you are never so lost that you cannot be found...that you cannot come home ..to yourself (and well SR for that matter : ). Sobriety is very much ..to me...about coming home. And look at all the lovely guests you have here in your home...with our cups of cocoa by the fire wondering where you been...saying.. Welcome home. Keep going to AA...keep doing the work. You can do this.
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Originally Posted by haennie
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Full honesty regarding drugs?
Well, here is mine. Should probably be a separate thread, and... anyhow, here goes. Brief version.
I am an alcoholic, booze has always been my vice, no doubt whatsoever.
I thought I would never get any problem with other drugs. I would not never have any problem with illegal drugs.
Until I'd tried.
Even weed was a weird experience... and, and please forgive me here..., injectible opiates. I started out with a phobia of needles... to an intense curiosity about whatever can be injected. I tried heroin 1x for myself in late 2006.
That experience scared the *** out of me. Not going to elaborate, in any way. And I am not going to do it again.
Well, here is mine. Should probably be a separate thread, and... anyhow, here goes. Brief version.
I am an alcoholic, booze has always been my vice, no doubt whatsoever.
I thought I would never get any problem with other drugs. I would not never have any problem with illegal drugs.
Until I'd tried.
Even weed was a weird experience... and, and please forgive me here..., injectible opiates. I started out with a phobia of needles... to an intense curiosity about whatever can be injected. I tried heroin 1x for myself in late 2006.
That experience scared the *** out of me. Not going to elaborate, in any way. And I am not going to do it again.
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I'll admit, I loved the name LimaBean3000 - I'm a lover of the lima beans, and the 3000 made it all sci-fi sounding, and the idea of a futuristic lima bean made me happy...
Thanks for the truth-telling. I like you more now. Your recent posts as serenidad during your relapse did sound self-protective and enclosed, and you just broke through. The LimaBean3000 debacle of 2014 can go down in history as a breakthrough moment for you psychologically... I think you just realized how crazy things were getting (yeah, when you need to create a fake identity to post on a recovery forum, you're not feeling great about yourself...), and became real with us and with yourself at the same time.
I am in absolute agreement with the 90 in 90. Like you, I had a long and strong prior sobriety, then struggled to regain 6 months, relapsed in may and struggled to get even a week for a bit there. I'm at 89 days today, and feeling fabulous about where I am/inside myself. I committed to the 90 in 90, which I had done decades ago in that first successful NA experience - I had truly given my life over to the program and it had worked for me. This last year, I only gave little convenient bits of my life over, and so didn't receive the reciprocal gifts of sobriety. 90 in 90 was the key for me.
I didn't quite get to 90, but I'm in the mid-80s for # of meetings in these last three months, and that was enough devotion that my life feels completely permeated with sobriety and, yup, serenity. Recovery just seeps into you with that many meetings. Tomorrow I'll celebrate my 90 days with program friends, and then will drop to a more reasonable long-term AA meeting schedule (that's two or three meetings a week for me).
Good luck, little serene lima bean...
Thanks for the truth-telling. I like you more now. Your recent posts as serenidad during your relapse did sound self-protective and enclosed, and you just broke through. The LimaBean3000 debacle of 2014 can go down in history as a breakthrough moment for you psychologically... I think you just realized how crazy things were getting (yeah, when you need to create a fake identity to post on a recovery forum, you're not feeling great about yourself...), and became real with us and with yourself at the same time.
I am in absolute agreement with the 90 in 90. Like you, I had a long and strong prior sobriety, then struggled to regain 6 months, relapsed in may and struggled to get even a week for a bit there. I'm at 89 days today, and feeling fabulous about where I am/inside myself. I committed to the 90 in 90, which I had done decades ago in that first successful NA experience - I had truly given my life over to the program and it had worked for me. This last year, I only gave little convenient bits of my life over, and so didn't receive the reciprocal gifts of sobriety. 90 in 90 was the key for me.
I didn't quite get to 90, but I'm in the mid-80s for # of meetings in these last three months, and that was enough devotion that my life feels completely permeated with sobriety and, yup, serenity. Recovery just seeps into you with that many meetings. Tomorrow I'll celebrate my 90 days with program friends, and then will drop to a more reasonable long-term AA meeting schedule (that's two or three meetings a week for me).
Good luck, little serene lima bean...
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Originally Posted by haennie
Full honesty regarding drugs? Well, here is mine. Should probably be a separate thread, and... anyhow, here goes. Brief version. I am an alcoholic, booze has always been my vice, no doubt whatsoever. I thought I would never get any problem with other drugs. I would not never have any problem with illegal drugs. Until I'd tried. Even weed was a weird experience... and, and please forgive me here..., injectible opiates. I started out with a phobia of needles... to an intense curiosity about whatever can be injected. I tried heroin 1x for myself in late 2006. That experience scared the *** out of me. Not going to elaborate, in any way. And I am not going to do it again.
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Being honest is tough but it liberates you as well. Kudos for facing the music. Now to get back onto a recovery plan ! Face forward and take it one gentle step at a time. Have no expectations and live in the moment !
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Bravo - that took some brass ones. No need to apologize, though - we don't kick you out of the "alcoholics club" for changing your username. You only wish it were that easy! 
5.5 years is sure something. I have 2.5 years and I can only hope to get to that point someday. But you know what? Sometimes it's not all about counting days.
My rehab instructor used to ask my group every morning which one of us had the longest time sober. The winner was always the guy who had gotten up the earliest that day. If you are sober today, and I am sober today, then we are both SOBER and that's the end of it. Glad you are back and feeling brave enough to post. Let's do this thing!
5.5 years is sure something. I have 2.5 years and I can only hope to get to that point someday. But you know what? Sometimes it's not all about counting days.
My rehab instructor used to ask my group every morning which one of us had the longest time sober. The winner was always the guy who had gotten up the earliest that day. If you are sober today, and I am sober today, then we are both SOBER and that's the end of it. Glad you are back and feeling brave enough to post. Let's do this thing!
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Originally Posted by bigsombrero
Bravo - that took some brass ones. No need to apologize, though - we don't kick you out of the "alcoholics club" for changing your username. You only wish it were that easy! 5.5 years is sure something. I have 2.5 years and I can only hope to get to that point someday. But you know what? Sometimes it's not all about counting days. My rehab instructor used to ask my group every morning which one of us had the longest time sober. The winner was always the guy who had gotten up the earliest that day. If you are sober today, and I am sober today, then we are both SOBER and that's the end of it. Glad you are back and feeling brave enough to post. Let's do this thing!
5.5 years is sure something. I have 2.5 years and I can only hope to get to that point someday. But you know what? Sometimes it's not all about counting days. My rehab instructor used to ask my group every morning which one of us had the longest time sober. The winner was always the guy who had gotten up the earliest that day. If you are sober today, and I am sober today, then we are both SOBER and that's the end of it. Glad you are back and feeling brave enough to post. Let's do this thing!
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